Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday, May 5th, 2015, your 35th birthday!

It's just ridiculously beautiful here—Haaank!  Oh look, it's Hank!

Hank is of course using this occasion to Snapchat.

John: Don't rock.

Hank: Yeah!

 John: It's going to ruin the shot.

Hank: Whee!

John: Oh, it's going to make people sick to their stomachs.

Hank: Whee!

John: When your birthday falls on a Tuesday, it is a great present to me, because it means I don't have to make an extra Vlogbrothers video.  Thank you.

Hank: Well, if you could work out that for me on…August 27th…

John: Oh my God you've hurt my feelings!  Let's move on, it's twenty—August twenty—

Hank: 23rd?

John: I don't even wanna be your friend anymore, let alone your sibling.  I have not gotten you a formal present.  Instead, I want to tell you that I will get you anything you want.

Hank: I want a whole mountain.

John: I cannot buy you a mountain.  I don't have the resources.

Hank: What about a project?

John: Depends on the project.  I don't wanna do a project that I don't wanna do.

Hank: What a surprise.

John: But it is your birthday.

Hank: John Green: doesn't wanna do things he doesn't wanna do.

John: I have a longstanding opposition to doing things that I don't wanna do.

Hank: I've wanted to do a podcast with you.

John: Oh!  I like podcasts.  What should it be about?

Hank: Stuff that we care about.  Stuff that we like.

John: Mm, that's going to bore people.  I really like high-concept podcasts like Night Vale, or the DeGeorges have that podcast that's from the perspective of a cephalopod.

Hank: It's a giant squid, yeah.

John: Yeah.

Hank: Do you want to ask?

John: Oh!  Oh, yeah.  What should we make a podcast about?  By the way, I don't know why we're not making our video with that in the background.

Hank: I mean, I could explain it.  It has to do with—

John: It has to do with lighting.

Hank: The lighting.

John: So as Hank's birthday present, I am going to get him a podcast, uh, that we make.

Hank: Starring us.

John: It's starring us, but you guys tell us what it should be about.

Hank: I like the idea of…I just had this one.

John: Okay.

Hank: What if, uh, every episode we just talk about a different person, but we pick a name, and we just talk about a person with that name in history.

John: Oh, so like the, oh, so it's like "The Steve Podcast with John and Hank Green."

Hank: Yeah.

John: Or like "The Sydney Podcast."  Like, something gender-neutral.

Hank: But it should be two names so that people are extra confused.

John: Oh, like, the, uh—

Hank: Like "The Sydney and Jesse Podcast—"

John: "With John and Hank Green."

Hank: "With John and Hank Green."

John: And we just talk about Sydneys and Jesses.  But there should be another, there should be another thing.

Hank: There's, yeah yeah, segments where we talk about other stuff we're into, and also what's going on in our lives or things.

John: I'll do like "This Week in AFC Wimbledon."  Like, what's going on in fourth-tier football.

Hank: Right, because everybody's so interested in that.

John: Everyone is.  Well what is something that you care about?

Hank: I could do Mars, 'cause I've cared about that forever.

John: "This week in Mars and AFC Wimbledon!"  The—

Hank: And Mars is so much more interesting than AFC Wimbledon, so everyone will listen for Mars, we have to do AFC Wimbledon first, so people have to sit through it to get to the Mars news.

John: Strongly disagree.  Mars is a planet that humans can't inhabit; AFC Wimbledon is a club made out of humans.  And aren't humans the most interesting thing in the world, really?

Hank: He says as he points the camera just at himself.

John: Whose birthday is it anyway?  It's my birthday, right?  Isn't it August 27th or 22nd?  No one can remember.  I'm not sure it's sustainable, are there enough Sydneys and Jesses?

Hank: Oh, sure.

John: Name two Sydneys.  'Cause—"

Hank: My mom, Sydney Green.  Sydney, Australia?

John: Ah.  Is there a Jesse, Australia?  If you like this idea, let us know some Sydneys and Jesses in comments.  Oh no, it, it's leaving me.  Was that your Blue Steel?  On three, uh, our best Blue Steel.  One, Two, Three.  So we need you to tell us what our podcast is going to be about, if it's going to be about Sydneys and Jesses, some Sydneys and Jesses we can talk about, who has the best Blue Steel, and if AFC Wimbledon or Mars is more important.

Hank: Right.

John: Would the earth be different if there were no Mars?

Hank: I mean, yes?

John: How?

Hank: We, well—

John: The sky would look different at night, but if there were no AFC Wimbledon, the core of human history would change.

Hank: [Burps].  So also for my birthday.

John: Yeah?

Hank: I have to make a video this week.

John: Yes.

Hank: I would make, like to make that video a, a kind of, uh, Vlogbrothers Olympics.

John: I may do it.

Hank: Where you and I compete in, in events.

John: How many events?

Hank: Twenty.

John: No!

Hank: It's going to be a do-decathlon.

John: No!  What about like a, no, like a septathlon, or maybe a Quadragocon.

Hank: Okay, "Quadragocon" I will go for.

John: So we're doing a four event Quadragocon.

Hank: No no no, fourteen.  Quadragocon is fourteen.  Obviously.  The first event is who wins that Blue Steel.

John: Okay.

Hank: Okay.

John: Hank, Happy Birthday.  I will, uh, see you, I will continue to see you after I turn off the camera.