Dr Doe: V for Vagina earrings, Serpent Love shirt, how about I answer some of your sex questions?

-- Intro Cut Scene --

Q: What is the difference between the desire for polyamorous relationships and the desire to cheat?

A: One is wanting multiple romantic and/or sexual partnerships, the other is wanting to act on that, against the conditions of the relationship or relationships you're in. You can be poly and cheat, but poly isn't cheating, and cheating isn't poly.

Q: What's the best way to stop watching porn/masturbating to my own fantasies? I consider myself an addict and want to stop. Any suggestions?

A: saa-recovery.org - this website has an anonymous survey to help you decide the best course of action for you.

Q: I was wondering if you could give some tips in a video on how to say "no" and how to say "I need it nooow!"

A: Sure! 10 "Nos", 10 "Enthusiastic Yeses":
1. No.
2. No, thank you
3. Nooo!
4. Nope.
5. Not my thing.
6. Not with you.
7. I don't think so.
8. No!
9. I'll let you know.
10. Nnnnnn..... *walks away*

1. Yes!
2.*excited nodding*
3. Sounds great
4.Yes please
5. YESSS!
6. Yes! Yes! Yes!
7. Affirmative
8. *thumbs up!*
9. *Actively removing clothing*
10. uh, Yeah!!!

Q: Any tips for writing erotica?

A: Read it! I've been thinking about this tactic for a Dr Doe book. What do other sexuality books or erotica say? If this approach doesn't match your personality because you don't want to be influenced by other writers, write down what turns you on, and build a story around it. There are very strong erotica communities  to connect with. Ask for a mentor, go to a convention, try this (*indicating link*) video from "How to Adult" about getting published. 

Q: So, I found my clit a few years ago, and I've tried to touch/use it to masturbate, but honestly I feel nothing, and I'm wondering what I should do. Gyno? Doctor? Am I doing it wrong?

A: Different bodies, different sensations. If it's causing you distress though, I would suggest researching sex-positive medical providers to address your concern and perform an exam. Simply explain that you're lacking sensation in your clitoris and you want someone to help you navigate options. Options may include: vibrators, creams, g-spot stimulators, working with a sex therapist, or changing sexual positions.

Q: Could you talk about vaginismus in your next episode? 

A: Vaginismus is an experience in the vagina of contraction - so much so, that fingers, tampons, speculums, toys or penises aren't able to go in without causing pain to the vagina, and sometimes not at all. There is what I call primary vaginismus, where the vagina is tight like this naturally; and then there's what I call secondary vaginismus, where something has triggered the vagina to close (such an abusive partner, fear of pregnancy or sex, or fear of the pain of the sex that is painful.) Somatization and genital armoring are other helpful terms to research if you want to learn more. I recommend sex therapy as treatment. There's also a medical route, which usually entails dilators  like these that expand the vagina over time. 

Q: How do I talk to my dad about getting on birth control? I need to talk to him about it since I am under his insurance. I am not in a relationship or plan on having sex soon, and my periods aren't difficult enough that I need birth control to help with that. I just want to start before college so that I don't have to wait until I'm with someone.

A: That's a brilliant and honest explanation! Use that one! And add a call to action like: "So dad, can you help me find a gynecologist who works with your insurance plan, so I can get set up with birth control in the next month?"

Q: Agnosexuality?

A: A sexual identity to describe not knowing one's sexual orientation. It reminds me of the really exciting project that Ashley Mardell is working on. An ABCs of LGBT book , free for anyone who wants the knowledge. There's a link here, and in the description.

Q: Can semen leak out of the bottom of a condom if the other person is on top?

A: Yes! Semen can leak out the opening of the condom, regardless of what position it's in, especially if the penis becomes flaccid, and the lip no longer fits snugly around the base. Proper play - pull out before coming, or promptly after by holding the condom in place and withdrawing. Note the vagina and anus are both capable of unintentionally removing the condom. If you think you've lose the condom, it may be found inside one of them.

Q: How do you talk to your parents about Sex?

A: (*Dr. Doe's mother on the phone*): Hello?

Dr. Doe: Hi!

Dr. Doe's Mother: Hi!

Dr. Doe: We didn't coordinate anything, but I wanted to see how we talk about sex?

Dr. Doe's Mother: Did you send my sex toys?

Dr. Doe: (*laughs silently*) Uh, I have not, but I will put them in the mail this week.

Dr. Doe's Mother: Stay Curious!




Dr Doe: If you'd like to send me your sex questions: Facebook, twitter, Tumblr. To schedule an appointment or a presentation, sexplanationspa@gmail.com

Many thanks to everyone who supports us on Patreon and shares Sexplanations. It really makes a difference.


-- Outtakes --

I forgot what I was doing here. Now I remembered.

*Vocalizations*

(*On phone with Dr. Doe's Mother*) One, two, three: Stay Curious!
Dr Doe's Mother (slightly delayed): Stay Curious! I can't do it!
Dr. Doe (*laughing*): It's ok! I love you! Have a good day!