Lizzie: Here again, on a weekend. Charlotte and Ricky had to go to another meeting with Ms. de Bourgh, something about a consultant or business advisor. They spend an awful lot of time in meetings with her. And driving to meetings with her, and driving back from meetings with her. So I get to use the big, empty office while no one's around!

[Lizzie playing in office montage]

Lizzie: Sometimes you just have to kick off your shoes and run around like a little kid. My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I can't remember the last time I laughed like that.

[Intro plays]

Lizzie: Things have been so tense lately, and I'm not just talking about all the drama. There's something going on here, hence all the meetings at Ms. de Bourgh's and this consultant they're bringing in to fix things. The thing is, Charlotte is doing a great job. Not that I'm surprised by that. She's so brilliant, I was afraid this job would force her to become an automaton, suffering every random idea that popped into Ricky's head, but she has figured out just how to handle him if he's being difficult or obtuse. I wonder where she learned to do that. Pretty soon this place will be called Collins and Collins and Lu. I'm so proud of her.

Charlotte: Hey Lizzie?

Lizzie: And here she is.

Charlotte: Oh good, there you are. Uhh, some people came back after the meeting, you should join us.

Lizzie: You mean, the new consultant? Is that even a real job?

Charlotte: Uh, he's not a consultant, umm he's...

Lizzie: Well, I should just stay here and let you be a high-powered business lady.

Charlotte: Actually, I need you to come and talk to him. He's expecting you and we can't afford to alienate him. 

Lizzie: Expecting... me? The grad student who doesn't work here? Who is this guy? Seriously, who is it? Is it Ricky's dad? Catherine's third husband? [thinking] Some rich, super snobby... No. No waaay. I mean, why would‽ What the- How the helllll...

Charlotte: You know Ms. de Bourgh is his aunt.

Lizzie: And the world only has 55 people in it!

Charlotte: She asked him to take a look at how things are running here.

Lizzie: She, asked him, to TORMENT ME‽‽

Charlotte: Actually, I think, to torment me.

Lizzie: Oh... right...

Charlotte: She didn't like some of the changes I made to the operational plan. Like, you know, having one.

Lizzie: Look at you, with your operational plan and your office politics, my little girl's all grown up.

Charlotte: You just sounded an awful lot like your mother.

Lizzie: Low blow, Lu. Low, blow.

Charlotte: Would you please, come and talk to him? Just for a minute. He brought his friend Fitz, I think you'll like him.

Lizzie: Are you trying to set me up? Now who sounds like my mother?

Charlotte: I'm sugar-coating, but seriously this is important. If he gives a bad report to his aunt we could lose our funding.

Lizzie: All the more reason to keep me hidden away.

Charlotte: Just come and say hello. Please, for me?

Lizzie: Fine.

Charlotte: Pleasantly!

Lizzie: Pleasantly, I can do that. 

Lizzie: (Later) I was pleasant! I was! My face hurts from oversmiling. Darcy was as charming as ever. Can you believe he even asked how my family was doing? As if he didn't know already! He's like a robot with buggy programming for social interaction. I made sure to ask him if he ran into Jane when he was in Los Angeles with Bing and Caroline, and he just, you know!

[DarcyBot voice] Umm, no. Did not encounter sister unit. Bzzz. Bzzz. DarcyBot malfunction. DarcyBot malfunction.

Lizzie: Anyway, I survived, and I did meet his friend and associate Fitz, who seems like a lot of fun. And yet another example of lively, outgoing people inexplicably being friends with Darcy. And even if Charlotte wanted to set me up with him, no dice, because he just invited us all out to dinner with him and his boyfriend. So don't get any ideas, guys. Keep those ships tied up at the dock. Darcy isn't coming to dinner with us, thankfully. I think that DarcyBot needs to go into the shop for some repairs. Or some serious upgrades.

[DarcyBot voice] Bzzzz. Darcy. Bot. Melt. Down. Wub. Wub. Buuuusshhht. 

Charlotte: (walks in) What are you doing?

Lizzie: (hides bow tie) Nothing.

Charlotte: We're getting ready to go.

Lizzie: Ok. Be there in a minute. 

Charlotte: (walks away)

Lizzie: [DarcyBot voice]  Buuuusshhht. 

[outro plays]