Good Morning, Hank, it's Sunday, it's News Day. Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, but little known fact: Nerd Pride is one of the Seven Lively Virtues.

Hank, since it's News Day today; I'm gonna tell you about some recent problems in the publishing industry and I'm going to do so using my beloved medium of text! (Annotation: It looks like this!) Remember text?

But since I know that would be incredibly boring we're gonna augment the video with Argyle the One-Eyed, Book-Reading Sock Puppet and Black Santa. They're gonna have a dance party while listening to a song from your new CD!
(Argyle and Black Santa dance to Nerdfighterlike) (Song written by Lauren Fairweather)

Text on screen:

So Hank, the book business has been stagnant for the last several years-partly because people buy fewer books and partly because people buy fewer NEW books.

Beginning in October of 2008, though, sales began to decline dramatically. Several prominent bookstores closed in 2008, many more will close this year.

On Dec. 8th, known somewhat self-importantly in the publishing world as "Black Wednesday," Random House, Simon and Schuster, and Houghton all announced layoffs. Houghton has, for the moment stopped acquiring new manuscripts. Houghton is owned by a hedge fund. It turns out hedge funds suck at making books. Who knew!

Book publishing is certainly healthier than magazines and newspapers, but the economic downturn is hitting books harder than most industries. More and more, it looks like the contractions in publishing won't pass.

Do people still like to read? Will they read in the future? Are people willing to spend a premium on new books? *

* Authors and publishers don't get paid for used books.

OR DO PEOPLE JUST WANT TO WATCH SANTA/ARGYLE DANCE ON TEH INTERNETZ?

I think people still like to read.

We learned in 2007 that as hard as it is to make a video every other day, it's even harder to live without text. And because books require a level of abstraction that images don't, text based stories still off a unique richness. No matter how good a "Paper Towns" movie might be-and I hope it's awesome-it can't be "like the book." Nothing can be like a book except a book.

So stories will survive this upheaval-but how? That's not a rhetorical question. Anyone with ideas, please share them in comments.

I'm sad because good editors are losing their jobs and good writers are finding it harder to reach an audience. And the worst is still to come. More book stores closing. More layoffs. Fewer book reviews. Fewer new acquisitions. Fewer publishing houses. It makes Black Santa very sad!

But the good news is still very good: Stories matter. So young writers, do not despair! Reinvent.

And now, Hank: As you and the nerdfighters compose your thoughtful comments on how (and whether!) to save the book, let's enjoy some Dance Party!

Oh, and nerdfighters! Thanks so much for reading "Paper Towns." My readers are made of so much awesome.

Yeah, I mean nothing against black Santa/Argyle Dance Party, but doesn't a good book offer a level of intellectual and emotional engagement that my Puppetry Skillz do not?

Hank's CD: http://www.dftba.com

Lyrics to the song:

I'd seen your videos and I think they're so jokes
And now we're getting flirty with a couple Facebook pokes
I confess that I've adapted to your timezone
At least now I don't have to watch YouTube alone

Oh even though tonight I've got
A date with my bookshelf
I'd much rather touch and hug you
And nothing else

Won't you be in nerdfighterlike with me?
Won't you stay up all night on Skype with me?
We could go on a date to the library
Too bad you don't live anywhere near me

Over a romantic lunch, we'd blurb some lolbooks
And blenderize our meals while other tables give us dirty looks
Do a reading of "Pooh Gets Stuck" in my pants
If we could hang out IRL, I'd do my happy dance

Oh even though tonight I've got
A date with my bookshelf
I'd much rather touch and hug you
Maybe something else

Won't you be in nerdfighterlike with me?
Won't you stay up all night on Skype with me?
We'd slow dance to music that's royalty free
Too bad you don't live anywhere near me

Oh even though tonight I've got
A date with my bookshelf
I'd much rather touch and hug you
And something else

Won't you be in nerdfighterlike with me?
Won't you stay up all night on Skype with me?
We could go on a date to the library
Too bad you don't live anywhere near me