Hi.

Hi.

Hey. Let's get all cozy.

Hello.

You're probably way warmer than  me.

I am warmer, because I've been in the hot tub.

This is Lauren Marie Fleming, famously known as Queerie Bradshaw.

I met her on day one of CatalystCon while riding the exotic bus.

I am a writer, a speaker, a sexpert with a law degree. I teach people how to write about the risque. 

We returned again to the conversation of how we're sitting side by side. Her in a suit. Me in a sweater. How did we come to be this way?

One. I just got out of a really, like, 90 degree temperature hot tub that I was in for a good thirty minutes. So, I am like... There is a lot of heat coming off of me.

And two. I'm hot because, I just one day decided I didn't like not liking my body. And one of the sexiest things anybody can do is actually just own it.

Then she showed me, the camera, and so you, her bathing suit. And the full turn around.

Dude, I'm gonna turn fully around.

When I was a kid, I never thought I would ever be in a bikini. Never thought I'd show fat rolls, never thought I'd show my belly. Never thought I'd show my body.

If you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body. 

*squeals and laughs* That is the greatest line ever!

I, um... I went to my first fat doctor at 7. I was totally tormented as a kid.

And I remember when I was a kid, I used to play with my nipples all the time. And the doctor told me that if I kept doing that, I would never be able to breastfeed my future children.

And the same doctor that told me if I ,like, didn't lose weight I would never get a boyfriend, and I would never be able to breastfeed my children.

Little did he know, I didn't want to do either. 

And, um-- I just... I just kind of had... I couldn't hate myself anymore.

So, one day I just started loving myself, and I just started walking with my head up with some poise.

I took ballet class. And although it was horrible, because the ballet teacher encouraged the kids to call me hungry hungry hippo so I'd lose weight. 

It did teach me poise. It taught me to, like, sit up straight. I do yoga, and I stand up. 

And one of the best things that I learned in yoga is to look at yourself in the mirror, and so if you only focus on yourself, then you can believe that no one else is focusing on you and judging you.

And if you only look at yourself and you don't judge it.

And so I really try to really hold myself, and only really look at myself, and exude that idea of sexy confidence that comes from just liking yourself. That's the sexiest thing ever!

That and if you're giving a blow job and you want to be able to get it deeper in your throat, hold your hand like this. It actually helps your gag reflex somehow. 

That's my two. Love yourself, and hold your hand like this when you're giving a blow job. Those are my two best sex tips.

*giggling*

Oh my gosh!

After giggling, I regrouped to find out from Queerie how this message gets out to people. How does it become accessible to you?

Well, um, I write, because I find that that's where my voice is the most able to connect, like, a to z. I'll do like a, q, lmnop, r. But then like-- I get the alphabet, and I feel like I like being able to find that connection between this and that and pull it together for that string.

And so that's where my voice mostly comes out. 

If they want to read your writing?

Like...  Where? What do I like do?

If you want to read my writing, I um, queeriebradshaw.com.  I also tweet a lot, @QueerieBradshaw.  And then there's--

She's teaching me how to tweet!

I'm teaching her how to tweet!  It's really exciting! It's an amazing platform to have accessibility to people.

Including me.  Including you.

And, um, you can also find me at creativitysquare.com if you want to take classes from me. And @LaurenMF if you don't want to hear about the, but you want to hear about the writing stuff.

And I have a memoir that's coming out soon called "Losing it: My Life as a Sex Blogger." And.

Whoa!

Yeah.

And then I'm on Instagram, Facebook.  You can-- Oh!  I have a column on Vice Magazine as well about sex in the law.

*sighs*


We're in the presence of greatness right now.

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