Good morning John, today I'm gonna talk about my punishment and then I'm gonna show you some of the stuff I got on tour but first I'm gonna play for you a song that I wrote while I was on tour. I'm gonna shut up now and just play it!

Well I don't want to be a big star
And I've never really been a fan of folks who just want to go far
But I do like to play on this guitar
And write these stupid songs in rental cars

Now I'm headed to Los Angeles
And I can't stop though I really gotta piss
'Cause I'm late for the show gotta go, gotta go
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm burning up the road
And I get there with five minutes to spare
And the people there don't seem to care
And I strap on my guitar and get ready to cut loose
I hope these people think that this machine pwns n00bs

It's like a hedgehog with a flat can
And a star for Mario
Or the big dot in Pac-Man
Or the Konami code
And it makes me feel invincible
When I'm up there on that stage
The final boss has been destroyed
Long-distance or close-range
It's like a super sniping shotgun
And it's body armor too
And I hope everyone agrees
That this machine pwns n00bs

I just finished my show in Phoenix AZ
God dammit if I didn't lose my keys
And the nerdfighters there all wanna hang out
And go to Yogurt Land and In-n-Out.
But we have to wait there on the sidewalk
Eating pizza with First Officer Spock
And now that they have been introduced
I hope they agree that this machine pwns n00bs.

It's like a hedgehog with a flat can
And a star for Mario
Or the big dot in Pac-Man
Or the Konami code
And it makes me feel invincible
When I'm up there on that stage
The level boss has been destroyed
Long-distance or close-range
It's like a super sniping shotgun
And it's body armor too
And I hope everyone agrees
That this machine pwns n00bs.

Whoo! Now I'm gonna show you some of the things that I got on the final part of the tour. This is a ten-sided die that was made with a 3D printer. It's like the nerdiest of the nerdy! Because I complained in the drugs episode about how we can't get Kinder Eggs in America someone brought them from Canada. I already ate two of them, here are the toys that it came with.

Somebody brought me cupcakes and I finished the cupcakes and then found a note inside that says: Hank, if you open this on your video I will donate 15 dollars to Children in Need. So I'm opening it; it's not the first time that I opened it but I am opening it. This is a wallet made of duct tape. A shirt for Ampera, they make bass amps. DFTBA headband... yeah.

[Sonic Screwdriver noise]

Probably the coolest thing that I got on tour was this gigantic bag of stuff from Dark Horse comics. Uh, not only did I get Super Stretchy Hellboy Man--this is my favorite when you do this to his head... laaaargh!--three giant signed posters, this one of Abe from Hellboy and this one of Buffy, and a freaking stack of comics, including like expensive graphic novels like Traitors, big with spines and stuff.

This is exceptionally exciting, it's the new Dr. Horrible. Unfortunately John I did not realize how long that song was gonna be so I have to go. I will show you the rest of the stuff that I got on tour and talk about the stuff that I wanted to talk about in a video tomorrow. John, you will see me then. [Nerdfighter sign]