John: Good morning, Hank. It's actually a secret reunion video, nobody would've guessed.

Hank: I don't think anyone was confused.

J: Our soap keeps running out [H: Keeps selling out.] as soon as, like, we make it.

 H: It's very good.

J: It's re-it's game changing. I've leveled up my soap game so much [H: Yeah.] that all the things I was doing to the bath [H: Ohh.] to make my skin feel better, turn out to be unnecessary. There's Willow who taught me how to pack socks today. Do you know how long it's been since we asked someone to like or subscribe? [Hank wheezing-laughing]

H: The weird thing is we used to. 

J: We do-all the time. It's not that I'm above it [H: Completely forgot.]. I-I literally [H: That like stuff.] forgot to do it [H: Yeah] for the last seven years. 

H: We've been between three and four million subscribers for about 12 years. So this time I've decided to actually get some real questions from real nerdfighters, John. This person asks have I ever considered being a comedian. [J: Ohh] Feel like you should if you have it.

J: Hank has considered being a comedian.

H: I considered every one of the jobs that you shouldn't try  I just desperately want to do everything once.

J: I'll tell you what. I've seen Hank bomb before, not in comedy but in music [H: Yeah.] but really bomb.

H: It was comedy laughing, it's not that anyone was listening. 

J: Nobody, nobody found it funny because nobody heard anything ya' said. I think you would be a good comedian, but I think it would take you, like, 15 years to get really good

H: I'd have to get good, yeah.

J: It takes 15 years for everybody to get really good.

H: Yeah, all these young comedians who are popular now [J: Yeah]. started when they were like 12.

J: Year, like Bo Burnham, like, of course he's funny when he's 30. He started when he was six.

H: Oh he's very good.

J: But unfortunately also so tall and handsome, but also intensely troubled which I dodged. [J: Hmm.] You got to have that too!

H: Yeah, thank you.

J: I don't know that you totally dodged intensely troubled. I think it might be a sort of late set intensely troubled y'know. [H: Joggin', lookin' over my shoulder.] Some people get it at two like I did, and some people get it at 43. You were historically less troubled than really anyone I, I wouldn't say anyone I know but, anyone I really adore. [H: Yeah]. Um, but you've been a little more troubled of late. 

H: Uh, yeah. 

J: I don't totally know what's going on. [Hank laughing] 

H: Have you heard of the phrase "bon vivant?"

J: Sure, of course. An enjoyer of life.

H: I recently was exposed to that phrase for the first time.

J: You'd never heard of the phrase "bon vivant?"

H: Maybe I heard it, but I didn't know what it was.

J: And you realize that you are yourself a bon vivant?

H: Aspiring to-

J: Ohh, ok. You want-that's what you want to do when you grow up.

H: I would like to have all of the parts of worry that are good [J: Yeah.], without the worry. I need to have worried [J: Yes], but I don't want to be worried.

J: It's asking a lot of verb tenses, buddy. I'm not sure-I'm not sure that they line up that way. I'll tell you one thing about bon vivant though. [H: Yeah] Or-

H: Is it bad...word?

J: I would've said no.

H: France isn't bad?

J: I don't think so, maybe. But I usually associate it with somebody who, like, loves gluttony and eating and drinking. Like that's so not you. But I think we should think of it as just a good life or somebody who's trying to have a good life in every possible way. I like that definition a lot. 

H: Ashley wants to know what my current favorite hyperfixation is. I have one.

J: What is it? 

H: I can't tell you. [John: Oh.] It's a secret because I'm gonna turn it into a project.

J: Do I know? 

H: Yeah, I send them to you regularly. [John: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.] Do you have a favorite musical, and if so, what is it?

J: Of all time?

H: Shrek 2. 

J: Well ok, I mean if that's going to be how we're going to define musicals, I guess for me it's Peguins of Madagascar. What do you put in first, cereal or milk? And why?

H: Can't ask John this question because he's gonna talk to you about water and cereal.

J: Yeah, you put cereal in and then you go over to the refrigerator and you push the water button and the water comes out.

H: Cold. The cold water. That's great for you, and I-

J: You get the cornflakes.

H: Bon your vivant. 

J: I'm bonning my vivant. On three Hank, what's your favorite baseball team. One, two, three-

J: The Missoula

J & H: Paddleheads. 

J: We went to a Missoula Paddleheads game yesterday. It was wildly enjoyable. 

H: It was, they won.

J: Pitcher did a great job and he had an earring.

H: He went six strikeouts in the first two innings.

J: We thought that we might be in for a historic performance where he struck out every batter he faced, but then when he didn't, I did kind of lose interest in the game. [Hank laughing]

H: It was very interesting. Getting (?) out

J: Yeah he struck out the first six guys, and they were all like phbhh.

H: What is it like watching your brother have to go to meetings for all the companies you run? It's a little bit of both. It's a little bit of like, "Hahaha, have a good time at the meetings!" It's a little bit like, "Oh god."

J: I've come to appreciate the meetings, I really have. I thought the question would surely be: What's it like watching your brother have to go through something even worse than meetings? Sometimes he does such a good job not just with-with the internet, but with us too of like being like, "Oh, it's not that bad." But it is-it really is that bad.

H: The wild thing is that it's kind of, like, I would describe it exactly how people described it to me in terms of like what chemo feels like. [J: Right.] But that doesn't mean that I knew what I was gonna feel like. It is, it's super stressful., in addition to being scary and sad and frustrating and unpleasant. 

J: And we are not gonna add a but to that sentence. 

H: If we did add a but, it'd be this butt. The butt of a corgi. [John laughing] The sign. Thank you to the UPS team.

J: They're doing great work.

H: Pick-up and drop-offs.

J:  They came and went so fast.

H: So fast.

J: Very impressive. [Hank laughing after John salutes] Ok, can we tell that story real quick?

H: Yeah, tell the story.

J: I went to, uh, In-N-Out Burger the other day and a very nice young man was like, "Are you who I think you are?" And I said, "Yes." And he said, "Man, I just want you to know that, you know, my family and I are praying for you and, uh, I really hope you pull through." [Hank laughing] I didn't know what to say because I wanted to take that, I wanted to- I wanted to honor that person's well wishes, you know. I said thank you, and I retold this story to Hank and the first thing he said was, 

H: "STOLEN VALOR! IT WAS MINE!" Alright John, I'll see ya' next week.