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Last sync:2019-06-14 13:50
Thanks a LOT, Jack! Also, you're welcome!

Big thanks to TheOneTAR for a Subbable contribution. Here's her blurb:

I wish I could grow an awesome beard :( –TheOneTAR

And here's her channel:

Will I see you at Buffer Festival?

Wheezy Elsewhere

The Wheezy Subbable Page

And THE GOOD STUFF subbable page:

Buy some Wheezy garb?

Thanks for the wink:

To submit a wink make a video saying in your most creative way possible "This is the end of the video" followed by a wink. Title it "Wheezy Wink For _____" and in the blank put the title of the latest video. Upload it to YouTube.

Craig: Are you ready for my VidCon performance?

What's VidCon, WheezyWaiter?

Video conference, happens every year, I did a mainstage performance. Many of you in the comments have been asked to see my performance. And I've been hesitating to put it up because well, my performance was ruined. By Jack Douglass. Jacksfilms?

But you know what, I guess it all ended up turning out for the best, so I'm going to show it after the intro.


Craig: I'm gonna play a song that's near and dear to my heart.

"This is a song.
This is a song.
Everybody knows the words cause I just said them all.

This is a song.
This is a song.
Everybody knows the words cause I just said them all.

This is a song.
This is a song.
Everybody knows the words cause I just said them all.

[text: skipping ahead a few verses]

Everybody cause
Knows them
Just said the song
Them words knows everybody said
Song words knows de all the..."


Jack: Excuse me.

Craig: What are you doing?

Jack: Hey.

Craig: What are you doing, Jack? Main stage performance right here.

Jack: Yeah, I'm aware. Could ya stop?

"This is a song, this is a song. A btataabtabta nobody cares."

Craig: Get off the stage!

Jack: That was... nonsense. It was all nonsense, especially that second verse. And the fourth verse. And the third verse. And you just kept going. If you were like a cute little British boy, you would get away with that. But you're not, Wheezy.

Craig: There's 20 seconds left in the song. Can I just do the song.

Jack: Those are 20 seconds I'll never get back.

Craig: Fine, I quit. [runs off stage]

[Title text: 15 YEARS LATER]

Hank Green: Nanobots. Slave, sweep this up. This is gonna be the most nanobot-free VidCon ever. Can't have a repeat of that terrible nanobot disaster of 2014. Well, time to Botox again.

Craig: Uh! So many nanobots these days.

Charlie McDonnell: Stupid 15 year old phone. Uh! Minion. Can you brush off this nanobot before I get nano-bit?

Craig: Okay.

Jack: [looks at DO NOT CROSS sign] Pff! Whatever.


Charlie: Good lord. If he was only 20 seconds later, he wouldn't be super dead right now.

Craig: Is that Jack?

Charlie: Hey, where you going? God, I hate the future.

Guys in the van: Hey.

Craig: Oh, guys in the van. There you are.

Michael Aranda: Whatcha need?

Rob: Tires?

Michael: Horses?

Rob: Kleenex?

Michael: Candy canes?

Rob: Envelopes?

Michael: Beard trimmer?

Rob: Those little paper clips they use to put paper together?

Michael: Fan?

Craig: No. I need a time machine.

Rob: Oh yeah. We got one of those.

Sam: Woah. The future!

Craig: Sam?

Sam: Ha-ha, I'm gonna go get a beer.

Craig: That's why he went missing for 15 years. Okay. [runs into van] I've gotta go back 15 years.

Title text:

Rob: Wanna go use those lottery numbers?

Michael: You're damn right.

Craig: (runs back to the stage)

"This is a song.
This is a song.
Everybody knows the words cause I just said them all.

This is a song.
This is a song.
Everybody knows the words cause I just said them all."

Jack: Those were still 20 seconds I will never get back, Wheezy.

Craig: You're welcome.


Craig: So there you have it, my VidCon performance. Oh yeah, and you're welcome for saving the world from a nanobot invasion that you're not going to thank you me for because you don't believe that I actually traveled through time but I did.

Sorry, I hope you enjoyed it. I'll see you next week. Aah, nanobot! Oh, no that's just my teeth gleam. I clean my teeth too well I guess. Oh, that is a nanobot. Tasty.

Craig & fan (singing): This is the end of the video!