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Duration:02:20
Uploaded:2015-09-15
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In which John Green FINALLY completes his longstanding punishment and gets an inkless tattoo reading "dftba." The whole process turned out to be full of surprises! (and....joy, weirdly enough.) For better or worse, the tattoo will be invisible in a month or so, but its memory will live on!

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John: Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday. I'm on my way to get a tattoo.

So Hank, I am here outside of Firefly Tattoo with Rosianna, and I am going to get an inkless tattoo as a punishment because apparently in 2012, I did something punishable and then you and Nerdfighteria dredged it up because you like to see me suffer.

Slightly off topic, Hank, but I just saw the television program Firefly for the first time. It is excellent. Why did they cancel that?

So this is Laura, my tattoo artist. I have a couple questions. 

Laura: Sure.

John: What is the least painful place to get an inkless tattoo?

Laura: Anywhere that you've got some good muscle. I know you've got some on your arm. 

John: My bicep is just huge muscles.

Laura: There you go.

John: Alright, I think I just want it to say DFTBA on my, uh, on my upper arm. I actually brought a shirt to change into.
Can you tell I am an anxious person?

Laura: Maybe just a little bit...

John: Are you just gonna... oh this is not a tattoo this is a pen.

Laura: This is a--this is a marker.

John: Okay.

Laura: Are you familiar?

John: (laughing) Okay, yeah, I've seen those before. But you know what I don't even want to look at that. I'm scared.
I'm going to be honest, Laura, that hurts a little bit. Is it gonna hurt more than that? Am I the most anxious tattoo recipient you've ever had here? 

Laura: You might be, honestly.

John: I'm honored.

Laura: This is very strange not to have any ink here...

John: Okay, have you ever done an inkless tattoo?

Laura: No.

John: Oh sweet Jesus.

Laura: We're all trying new things today.

John: Alright.
Oh that doesn't hurt at all.

Laura: I told you.
Hank, I think I might sort of like getting tattoos.
I feel like I could read a book while this is happening.

Laura: People do that.

John: Do they really?
John (voice-over): So Hank, Laura made my DFTBA tattoo with water instead of ink meaning that it's gonna go away in about a month and I have to say that while I spent the last several weeks fearing this punishment, it turned out to be the least punishing Vlogbrothers punishment ever.  In fact, I really love the tattoo itself, especially in all of its impermanence--I mean, DFTBA are after all the five most important letters in my life.

Update: Just realized that both of my children have five-letter names, so I would like to amend my previous statement.
But anyway, Laura made the whole process relaxing and fun and pretty painless. We just chatted for a while and then suddenly--

Laura: That's also done.

John: Are you serious?

Laura: That's it.

John: It's over?

Laura: It's over.

John: Hank, look at my awesome tattoo! Now I want to get a real
tattoo.

Laura: See, I told you.

John: I gotta talk to my wife though first.
I can't believe it's over, that was so fast and easy and relatively fun--I'm not saying "get a tattoo," I'm just saying it's fast and easy and fun--anyway Hank, as it says on my arm, don't forget to be awesome.  I'll see you on Friday.