John: Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday. I'm on my way to get a tattoo.

So Hank, I am here outside of Firefly Tattoo with Rosianna, and I am going to get an inkless tattoo as a punishment because apparently in 2012, I did something punishable and then you and Nerdfighteria dredged it up because you like to see me suffer.

Slightly off topic, Hank, but I just saw the television program Firefly for the first time. It is excellent. Why did they cancel that?

So this is Laura, my tattoo artist. I have a couple questions. 

Laura: Sure.

John: What is the least painful place to get an inkless tattoo?

Laura: Anywhere that you've got some good muscle. I know you've got some on your arm. 

John: My bicep is just huge muscles.

Laura: There you go.

John: Alright, I think I just want it to say DFTBA on my, uh, on my upper arm. I actually brought a shirt to change into.
Can you tell I am an anxious person?

Laura: Maybe just a little bit...

John: Are you just gonna... oh this is not a tattoo this is a pen.

Laura: This is a--this is a marker.

John: Okay.

Laura: Are you familiar?

John: (laughing) Okay, yeah, I've seen those before. But you know what I don't even want to look at that. I'm scared.
I'm going to be honest, Laura, that hurts a little bit. Is it gonna hurt more than that? Am I the most anxious tattoo recipient you've ever had here? 

Laura: You might be, honestly.

John: I'm honored.

Laura: This is very strange not to have any ink here...

John: Okay, have you ever done an inkless tattoo?

Laura: No.

John: Oh sweet Jesus.

Laura: We're all trying new things today.

John: Alright.
Oh that doesn't hurt at all.

Laura: I told you.
Hank, I think I might sort of like getting tattoos.
I feel like I could read a book while this is happening.

Laura: People do that.

John: Do they really?
John (voice-over): So Hank, Laura made my DFTBA tattoo with water instead of ink meaning that it's gonna go away in about a month and I have to say that while I spent the last several weeks fearing this punishment, it turned out to be the least punishing Vlogbrothers punishment ever.  In fact, I really love the tattoo itself, especially in all of its impermanence--I mean, DFTBA are after all the five most important letters in my life.

Update: Just realized that both of my children have five-letter names, so I would like to amend my previous statement.
But anyway, Laura made the whole process relaxing and fun and pretty painless. We just chatted for a while and then suddenly--

Laura: That's also done.

John: Are you serious?

Laura: That's it.

John: It's over?

Laura: It's over.

John: Hank, look at my awesome tattoo! Now I want to get a real
tattoo.

Laura: See, I told you.

John: I gotta talk to my wife though first.
I can't believe it's over, that was so fast and easy and relatively fun--I'm not saying "get a tattoo," I'm just saying it's fast and easy and fun--anyway Hank, as it says on my arm, don't forget to be awesome.  I'll see you on Friday.