HANK Hello and welcome to games with Hank, I am Hank and this is games with me. Today we are not in the normal studio because we're instituting a new thing, that thing is ah Wii Wednesdays.

What we gotta do is set some ground rules here on GamesWithHank or I'm never going to get anything done. So every Wednesday will be a Wii game. We might also think of this as Wife Wednesdays.

Eh, oh, what's this. Alright its happening, lets start the game. I need to point it more at you. I need it to be closer to you.

KATHERINE Yeah I know.

HANK You're leaning all the way back here.

KATHERINE Well I can't... my feet don't reach the ground which means I have to sit further back on the seat. 

HANK That's not ideal because your voice is so quiet, you little girl. 

KATHERINE ehhohoh quiet.

HANK Alright everybody, here we go, Super Mario 3D World Wii U style. (imitating the music) Di di doot doot. Heyy, yeah, there it is, alright everybody.

Hello and welcome to GamesWithHank, I'm Hank and this is games with me. Today Hank is going to be me and Katherine and the game is going to be Super Mario 3D World.

Alright join, you have to join, I've already joined.

KATHERINE I want one of those ones that looks like a... person.

HANK What are you talking about? I want one of those ones that looks like a person.

KATHERINE *Laughs*

HANK What the... I've no idea wha...

KATHERINE Controller

HANK Controller

KATHERINE That looks like a person...

HANK  Why would it look like a person?

KATHERINE Little legs

HANK  And what? What?

KATHERINE *laughs*

HANK  You mean one of like the Game Cube controllers?  It doesn't look like a person. It look.. I mean um I'm sorry I didn't mean to be mean.  *laughs*

Look at how happy they are!  They're.. It's a fireworks show and they're gonna jump in the glass pipe.

Ooh don't hit it. Oh you fixed it. Okay.  I thought you were going to break it.

KATHERINE They are plumbers, after all.

HANK  They do-- They know what they're doing.

Hey all the toys! So many toys! (1:51)

Uh, something terrible happened with jars of fairies and this bad turtle dragon. The turtle dragon has stolen - Oh he's back! He's right here! Turtle dragon is among us.
No don't. You stole - Oh no. Just like Link always does.

KATHERINE Yeah, I was gonna say. I know somebody else who likes to put fairies in bottles. And he's not treated as a--

HANK villain. Oh no! Why didn't you do it? Aw, now we've lost the princess as well.

KATHERINE What? No, she went into the pipe to see what was there.

HANK Oh, she went in to help. Ok. I thought maybe she was going to... Well usually you have to save the princess.

KATHERINE Well that's not the story here.

HANK That's not the story here. Everybody's got to save the fairies. Ok good. Im glad that princess Peach -

KATHERINE She's... she's not a damsel anymore.

HANK Not a damsel anymore.

Aw this is pretty.

KATHERINE Oh help

HANK Oh no, I gotta save the little fairy in the bottle. Oh I went in the thing. Alright.

I can run, and I can jump. Can I jump on you? Why are you squatting?

KATHERINE Oh shoot look at me do a roll

HANK Yeah, that's how you squat.

KATHERINE Figured out the ground pound. That's good.

HANK I killed that guy. Oooh - uh-oh

Who's a kitty? I'm a kitty. I'm a kitty. Come here, brother! I wanna kitty hug you. Hard.

What happened there? Oh I just jumped off the edge! (like professor Frink) Laven! No kitty almost- oh *laughs with Katherine*

KATHERINE Kitty ground pounded off the edge.

HANK I ground pounded off the edge. How do you ground pound? (3:25)

KATHERINE  Up and B

HANK  Oh, up and B. Oh, you got the one as well. I am not kitty anymore. Oh jeez, oh jeez. I cannot...is hard. I gotta go in here where there's coins.

KATHERINE Oh, no, no! Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!

HANK  You can do it! You survived! You're an amazing animal.

Katherine Oh shush shush shuu

Hank Come here, I want this. What are you doing over there? Oh I get to be a kitty, too! How do you...What is the attacky move? 

KATHERINE Just 1.

Hank Oh gosh!

Katherine One. Just 1. You use the 1. 1. Oh you dang diggity dong! Oh no, oh no, oh no.

HANK It's hard to know exactly what--oh, nicely done, brother. You're my brother and my wife, what can I say?  It's a little weird but I guess that's how it works. And--where did I go?  Whoaaah!  

KATHERINE I had to come with you, I turned into--

HANK Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's pretty, I like it.  Ooh, a flag. 2000! I got the 2000, Katherine.  

KATHERINE It seems like maybe you should have let me--

HANK Why?

KATHERINE Maybe I would have gotten a power up or something?

HANK I don't think you do, I think you get big, but you certainly don't get a kitty.  What was that--

KATHERINE I am a kitty.

HANK Get the bunny!  You've gotta get the bunny!  Give me--whoa--ooh--uh-oh, uh-oh--uh, where did I go?  Uh, I'm in a bubble.  Everybody bubble.  What is that?  I hit the bunny.  I hit the bunny, and he made giant mushrooms.

KATHERINE Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I'm huge!  

HANK You are huge, where am I?  I wanna be huge!  

KATHERINE BOOOOOOM

HANK Oh man, yeah.

KATHERINE BOOOOOOM

HANK Just, oh my God.

KATHERINE BA BOOOOOOM

HANK We are gigantic!  

KATHERINE BOOOOOOOOM

HANK Come on down here.  

KATHERINE I'm sorry.  I meant to.  

HANK Oh, you killed a tree.

KATHERINE I killed a tree?  Oh wait. Oh, I ran out of time.  

HANK Ohh. Me too.

KATHERINE Oh no.

HANK Oh, all these things could have been fun to destroy.

KATHERINE Aw, man.

HANK What is this?  It's a kitty thing! It was a kitty Goomba.  Everybody gets to be a kitty in this game.

KATHERINE: Hey!

HANK HEY. Oh!  

KATHERINE There's all these boxes! 

HANK Ohhh, you bubbled and then died, everybody di--it wasn't my fault! Was it my fault?

KATHERINE Yes, you jumped off the edge.  

HANK Well, that part was my fault.  

KATHERINE I didn't turn into a bubble intentionally, I turned into a bubble cuz you went ahead of me and left me behind.  

HANK What are we doing? Oh, I'm going in this well.  Oh, we didn't even get this last time.

KATHERINE I know.  

HANK How did you get to be a kitty?

KATHERINE I climbed that tree with the kitty bell at the top of it. You want me to go get those enormous mushrooms?

HANK You can, but I can't go with you.  

KATHERINE One of them might come down.  

HANK *laughs weakly* Aw, come on, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! Pffffft. Can you bubble on purpose?

KATHERINE I dunno.

HANK I don't think you can.  

KATHERINE I don't think you can either.  

HANK Oh, you can! Look, I did it.

KATHERINE Oh, good job.  

HANK You have to attack the big bunny, that's how you do it.  Ohh.  Yeah.  

KATHERINE The problem is, if I yeah--I'm gonna stay a kitty.  

HANK I'M GIGANTIC

KATHERINE KILL EVERYTHING

HANK I AM MARIOOOO

KATHERINE Don't run off the edge!  Don't run off the edge!

HANK I'm trying to break all the blocks.  Here I come--whoaaa, I destroyed the ground!  I should have tried to go in this tube, that would have been amazing if I had fit in it.

KATHERINE Oh, God, kitty, come on, kitty, kitty, kitty, yay.  

HANK Good job.  

KATHERINE Meow.

HANK Oh, there's the flag.  We almost--we've done it.  You're--you are so fast.

KATHERINE I'm a kitty.

HANK How do I get up this thing?

KATHERINE Climb it.

HANK Oh, he like did a hand--back handspring.  Well, look at you! Ohh, I am terrib--ohhh, I didn't even make it up the pole! You're too fast, Miss Kitty!  

KATHERINE Luigi time!

HANK Luigi time. Course cleared.

KATHERINE Push the button.

HANK Oh, right, I have to push the button.  I didn't realize. 

KATHERINE You are the one in charge.

HANK I am half.

KATHERINE Heh, well, you know, sometimes, some people are good at things. (laughs) Everyone has their strengths.

HANK Koopa Troopa Cave. (let's-a go) Let's-a go.

KATHERINE What's the plus random button?

HANK That makes you a random character and--

KATHERINE I don't want that.

HANK --you don't get--what are you wearing?

KATHERINE I'm wearing a crown, cuz I beat you last time.  

HANK It's...glowing. Ow!  You hit me.  

KATHERINE What?!  

HANK I'm wearing a crown.  

KATHERINE That's some BS!  

HANK And now, I killed that thing with his own shell.

KATHERINE You stole my crown!  

HANK I did.  We're underground, 'cause that is where you always go. Oh gosh, oh gosh, my crown, where am I?  I'm wearing my crown again.  What on earth just happened?

KATHERINE This shell went around.

HANK I'm taking this with me.  Oh, I can't.  Die.  Oh, yeah, use those fires.  

KATHERINE *whistles*

HANK Oho! OH! It bounced, it bounced, I didn't think that was gonna happen!  Where am I, am I dead?  Where am I?  I was dead, I died.

KATHERINE Oh. I'm sorry.  

HANK Let's get out of the thing.  

KATHERINE I needed my crown. Don't go anywhere!  

HANK I had to go somewhere.  I had--I didn't have to.  

KATHERINE You didn't have to.

HANK I didn't have to.  But when I say I had to, that's a lie.

KATHERINE I mean, I was compelllleeed.

HANK Ooh, I got a star. Nice, thank you for--oh, you totally murdered that guy for me.

KATHERINE Oh, good. You know, I can't jump without shooting a thing.  

HANK Um, well, it worked out well for me.

KATHERINE That's how it goes for me. I wonder what's up with these fires.  

HANK Oh jeez, that now is a dangerous land  Oh, you stopped it. You stopped it and you stopped.

KATHERINE And I killed it.  

HANK Is there anybody ohhhh--Koopa!  Where am I?  What?  Oh, jeez, mugger--

KATHERINE I accidentally went in this dragon box!  

HANK Okay, okay, okay.  Everything is good, and I don't know what's--

KATHERINE Oh no, my crown, my crown, gimme. (heavy breathing)

HANK Whaaaaat, my ga--that was really fast but I got a star and it gave me lots of points.

KATHERINE I don't know what just--what just happened.  No, what's up here?  

HANK Oh jeez, it knocked me into the pole!  Ambassador to pole. Uh, it shot me right into that frickin' Goomba's head--

KATHERINE Okay, baby Goombas. 

Hank --and I died again and what and then it dropped me and I wasn't even invincible! (Katherine laughing) Why am I down here again? Run away!

KATHERINE Hank's having a struggle.

HANK I had to go.  I had to go.

KATHERINE Hank's having a struggle time.  You didn't go the right way.  Go back and go the right way.

HANK The right way?

KATHERINE Yeah, the way with all the coins.

HANK I don't know, I don't think I can.

KATHERINE It's closed.  It's a one way pipe.

HANK Oh, it was a one way pipe.  Ooh, there's something good in there.  

KATHERINE Like, oh no, oh my God, what?  How we get it?

HANK You have to get into a pipe. Oh. Ohhh!  

KATHERINE Yeah, that pipe up there.  

HANK Ohh, okay, you smartypants.

KATHERINE It's--it's--oh God.

HANK Oh my gosh, no, no, no, you don't get all of them!

KATHERINE Why not?

HANK Because I--

KATHERINE I got in there.

HANK But I want to not be terrible.  

KATHERINE Well.  That's up to you, isn't it?  

HANK Alright, Goomba tower, come over here.

KATHERINE I don't like see... where they are...or what should I do. What did I do?

HANK Ah! I just created a kitty bell, because it was in my inventory.

KATHERINE Dangit! No! No! No...

HANK I got them.

Katherine Alrighty. Guess who stole my crown.

Hank Oh! What? I did not mean to do that!

KATHERINE Uh-huh.

HANK It doesn't matter. I turned into a little ball.

KATHERINE Come with me.

HANK What? Why didn't you let me carry you? That was adorable!

KATHERINE I don't know! I didn't realize that's what was going on?

HANK Owww... You just punched my crown off! Oh well... You know what you get. 

KATHERINE (laughs) My crown!

HANK Ah! Dangit! Dangit! That's totally the difference!

KATHERINE You know what... you get?

HANK You know what you get!? And you got, and you had your crown and that gave you extra points. Now you're gonna be the winner again... We got a coin stamp.  

KATHERINE Ooh.

HANK That's good.

KATHERINE The least interesting stamp.

HANK You're such a winner. All the time. With the winning.
OHHHHH!! Daang! Look at me!

KATHERINE Such a fff-- complain-y whiner-sen. And...is actually winning.

HANK What did you--what--you said? Such a FFFFFFFFF complain-y whiner-sen. I got this!

CAMEO Meoww.

KATHERINE It's not happy, Hank. She's-- (12:38)

HANK It's not. I'm sorry kitty. I wanted everyone to see you.

KATHERINE She was going somewhere, and you just--

HANK No she's gonna go there now...

KATHERINE --yanked her out of--

HANK She's gonna go there now.

KATHERINE --her path.

HANK You wanna say hi to the people? Say hi!

KATHERINE Say hi. Say meow meow meow meow.

HANK Meow!

CAMEO Meow.

KATHERINE Say meow meow meow!

CAMEO Meow. Meooww.

HANK Thank you kitty!

KATHERINE Meeowuhuowow!

HANK Thank you all for watching this episode of Games with Hank.

KATHERINE Alright! (13:03)

HANK Katherine and I have been the Hank and the game has been Super Mario 3-D World...possibly.

KATHERINE Yeah, I don't even know what tis one's called--

HANK It's a little...it's a little unclear. Uh...they should just stop naming them.

KATHERINE Hahaha, this one is called Mario Game.

HANK Mario Game.

KATHERINE The second.

HANK Fun!

KATHERINE Fun!

HANK DFTBA.