Lizzie: Wow. So, this is the 45th? 46th? time that I'm talking to you? Kinda losing count. (laughs) But it's been a long while, and I talk a good game but sometimes I make mistakes. A lot of mistakes. And if I'm wrong, I'll be the first to admit it. But sometimes what's worse than being wrong is being right. Dear viewers, I did it. I said I would do it, and I did it. My name is Lizzie Bennet, and today, I found out the truth about Darcy.

(theme music)

Lizzie: We have a special guest today! And no, it's not Darcy. You don't want to meet him, trust me. Not after you hear this! But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is how it started.

(cut to Lizzie and George, George is standing at the bookshelf)

Lizzie: Um, this works best if you actually sit down.

George: Nooo. I have never been in your room before, so attention must be paid. I gotta make sure you don't have any red flags, like books on serial killers, or anything shady or with shades.

Lizzie: Seriously, George, you're giving the Internet a show.

George: Oh, is the camera on? Sorry about that, Internet.

Lizzie: (pushing George down) Sit!

George: Yes, ma'am.

Lizzie: Internet, this is George Wickham. George, this is the Internet.

George: Oh, we've already been acquainted. (winks)

Lizzie: Oh, no. Ah- you've watched the other videos already? Oh, god. Just tell me I didn't say anything too embarrassing.

George: A gentleman would never tell.

(Lizzie groans. George laughs.)

George: No, it's fine. It was sweet, even. I knew there was a reason I liked coming to this town for swim meets. Everybody's just so friendly. Well, not everybody.

Lizzie: You mean Darcy?

George: I do not trust myself on that subject.

Lizzie: Okay. I'm sorry, it's just...I saw the look between you two at Carter's...I didn't even know you knew each other.

George: Yeah, we grew up together.

Lizzie: Really? Okay, not prying, but um...what happened?

George: Ahh! I- I- it's not that I don't wanna tell you, I just- I don't wanna sully any names.

Lizzie: You are a disturbingly good person, but uh, I guess I understand.

George: Although, the story could be told hypothetically.

Lizzie: I like the way you think!

(cut to Lizzie with book and "teacher glasses")

Lizzie: Ready?

George: Yeah.

Lizzie: Hello, boys and girls! I'm going to tell you a story. Once upon a time, there were two little boys who grew up together. One was called Dar...vid...Darvid! And the other was called...

George: Vin Diesel!

Lizzie: Vin Diesel?

George: Oh! No! The Rock! Ah! (laughs) Batman!

Lizzie: Seriously?

George: (Batman voice) Batman is always serious.

Lizzie: Okay! Um, so, Batman and Darvid did all the things little boys do. They built forts, had mud fights, ate bugs...

George: Hm?

Lizzie: I don't have any brothers. You tell the story.

George: Darvid's father loved Batman so much that he promised to give him... (whispers in Lizzie's ear)

Lizzie: Um, so, uh, Darvid's father promised Batman that when Batman grew up, he could go to study at a faraway castle.

George: No, Batman doesn't want a castle. He wants a cave.

Lizzie: Okay, um...so, this cave was very distinguished and everyone who went there was sure to earn millions of dollars in their lifetime.

George: It was an awesome cave.

Lizzie: And what did Darvid say when it was time for Batman to go to the cave and he asked for the money?

George: No.

Lizzie: No? But why would Darvid deny Batman his cave-studying
dreams?

George: Because he said that Batman didn't deserve to go to the cave!

Lizzie: That's right. Even though Batman and Darvid were lifelong friends, Darvid broke his father's promise and wouldn't let him go study at the cave. (closes book) So, what did we learn from this story?

George: (laughs) That's you're kinda crazy! And I like it.

Lizzie: And never trust anyone named Darvid!

Lizzie: I can't believe that happened to you! And you've never been able to go- (Lydia runs into room.)

Lydia: Hi Lizzie. I heard- (sees George) oh, hi.

Lizzie: Lydia, we're in the middle of something serious.

Lydia: You're the swimmer, right? (dumps water on George) Whoops!

George: Oh! Ahh, my favorite shirt! Damn it!

Lizzie: Lydia! Oh my god, I- I'm going to get you a towel... (leaves room hurriedly)

Lydia: (sits) I am so sorry. You know, it can't be very comfortable in a wet shirt. You should probably...take that off.

George: Yeah... (takes shirt off) Whew!

Lydia: That, that's better, right?

George: Yeah.

Lydia: Yeah...

Lizzie: Here you go.

George: Ah, thanks, peach!

(Lizzie giggles nervously)

Lydia: Let me help you with that...

(End credit music)