(Intro Music)

Hank: I'm glad I'm in the water it's hot! This is the Clark Fork River... there's another line after that, there's a lot more words after that. There's so many fish on my feet!

Hank: In Montana, where I live.. something!

Hank: So the Clark Fork's geochemistry explains why... crap.
So the geochemistry of the Clark Fork explains why acid rain isn't as devastating here as it is in say the Atar- Ata-Atarackdackdack.

Hank: This is about buffers
Hank: Badududududududubububu.. dudududbububudub!

Hank: I didn't see you point at me Nick!
(Nick laughs)
Hank: How do I know?
Hank: Did you point at me? Do it again. Point. Point more. That's creepy, that's too much.
Hank: Did you point at me? 
Nick: No I was waiting for you to stop talking.
(Hank laughs)
Hank: That's not how it works. I talk forever, until you point.

Hank: Acid loses xm, and gains- and both ions gain x.. more x.

Hank: The symbol for this kind of equilibrium constant is ka for an acid or kb for a base.

Hank: A rate law in this form is said to be of the fourth order, we get that al- alu by adding valghs the fourth.. hard.

Hank: A rate law in this form is said to be of the fourth order, we get that by adding together the exponents..
(Nick laughing)
Hank: Shut up..

Hank: A rate law in this form is said to be of the fourth order, we get this value by adding together the exponents, three plus one, and adaxwehus four.
(Nick laughing)

Hank: Then solids like my table here or my phone, or m- this isn't a phone..

Hank: I missed a, missed a, missed just a couple of words there.

Hank: So use the equilibrium expression for acetic acid, and put it, put it in, put in, put in the ka and the equilibrium concentrations from the RICE table

Hank: So use the equilibrium expression for acetic acid, and put, p-, p-

Hank: So use the equilibrium expression for acetic acid and put it in the k, put in, put in, put in, put one no not it put in, put in

Hank: Your pacemaker, hopefully you don't have a pacemaker but if you do, that too, I don't know where I'm going.

Hank: Medium, glubleglah
Nick: Gledium.

Hank: And another part where there being and glugghh

Hank: Dudududchibghaka..

Hank: Eeeeeeehhhh..

Hank: Which is why we call these things alkaline batteries 

Hank: With a little algebra it's simplifi- simplifies? That doesn't look simpler. I guess you could call that simplified, but that's, ah I mean I could use the quadratic equation but that's, it sounds just terrible to me so, let's loshialuheua...

Hank: Heugh, that's like quadratic, I don't wanna do that. So here's a little trick to make this a lot easier. Hairs a little trick! Hairs a little trick!

Hank: -A rur, a rur a ru a random
(Michael laughing)

Hank: My finger itches. Why? Why do I hear it?

Hank: If it's so small that after rounding for significant digits it won't change our answer blphoo!

Hank: The rest of the problem cancels out leaving x to equal 1.75 times ten to the negative fifth.
Michael: It's not five, it's three.
Hank: Why did I say five?
Michael: (laughing) I don't know!
Nick: Three sir!
Hank: It said it right there!

Hank: The rest is a breeze, with a couple taps of the calculator we find that the ph is 7.45- it's not, it's not what it says..

Hank: The rest is a breeze, with a couple taps of the calculator we find that the ph is se-seveenn.. ahhhh! That was too much, I didn't know where the table was!

Hank: Is it too loud? Put your headphones back on. AEEAGHHH!

Hank: What if we tried the persshdebaa!

Hank: So badly that they can't driven anymore and the last driver of a car that continues to tch- drive. 

Hank: Damaging your own car, and the last- 

Hank: Every reaction has a minimum amount of- minimount! Minimumamount! Minimumamount! Minimumamount! 

Hank: Every reaction has a minimum amount of energy- rrreouurequired.. to get it.. started..

Hank: Because it involves reactions that either produce, or consume react- plbphh!

Hank: I've told you about redox reaction before and if you haven't seen that episode yet, you should probably watch it before you watch this one..

Hank: Like for example, this kind of work! Uoorgh! It's not mine, I don't wanna break it. 

Hank: Well it's kinetic energy, the kind that comes from a particle's speed- it's actually the literal speed of the atom. So just like cars and demolition derby, all else-
(Nick laughing)
Hank: What?
Nick: That didn't work at all.

Hank: Like if you keep smashing the back of a guy's trunk, you're not gonna stop his car from going.. cause there's no engine back there.. 

Hank: We find that the rate of the reaction is 0.012 mol- moles.. that's not very many moles! It's hard to have really 0.012 moles.

Hank: Equilibrium expressions are also used - oh blphh!

Hank: Equilibrium expressions also used bracketed concentrations with exponents and that's no accident, the- those- beh- the- thee!

Hank: Now if you've watched out episode on equilibrium this formula should w-wook..

Hank: Now if you've watched out episode on equilibrium you should bllpphhhhhhh..

(Nick laughing)
Hank: No idea what I just said! I'm sure that the graphics will make it clear.

Hank: Of their electrons, their chemical bonds, and their intermerrrr..

Hank: Like foams and gels and colloids like mayonnaise and rubber waxes and some biological tissues such as fat!
Michael: Oooooooooh
Hank: Zzzzzooozooooo

Hank: Resu- reszzzzzz.. zzzzzooozzoozzz.. zz!

Hank: In order to do it right, you have to type- tep tuptupitap! Baptipbiptabab!

Hank: Moleculer ... like, mol-e-q-ler ... that makes sense?

Hank: Atomic sollage, like the name.. sollage? Sollage?

Hank: I don't want to say it now except tubdubtibow but it's some ggurshbow.. 

Hank: The diamond in this ring- aaaahhhhhhh..

Hank: Fascinatingly enough only a few minor differences in an atomic arrangement allow an element found on.. the.. bottom.. 

Hank: Once you learn the chemistry of these different netics- netics?

Hank: Both of these properties make ceramics useful in tonnes of ways which you've probably been exploring.. when you were a toddler.. and got your first box of modelling clay.

Hank: Now if each of these half reactions occurred within contact of the other they'd spontaneously got to equilibrium and-

Hank: Release beglagrableghraba! Br- breleasing! Breleasing a bunch of blenergy!

Hank: Thanks for watching this episode of Crash Course Chemistry, if you were listening that avaca-avaconventional? Avacontential.
Nick: That's a great word.
Hank: I don't think it's a word though?
Nick: It is now!

You learn that electrochemical reaction are aaaah- aaaughaaaa..

Hank: The script supervisor wasn't here, and Michael Aranda is our sound designer. 

Hank: Like how Bohr figured out his model or Heisenberg used math to usher in qu- 

Hank: Combustion, halogenation and dehydrananation.
Nick: Ooooooohhh

Hank: And Michael Arounda- Arounda? 
Michael: Arounda?
Hank: Arounda?

Hank: This episode was written by ED Gonzales and edited by Blake DP- deep eee- de Pastino..

Hank: Our script supervisor was Michael Aranda. He was also our graphic designer - graphic designer, apparently. 

Hank: The script supervisor was Mmmmmmmichael Aranda. 

Hank: Our scriulaaaaaalalaa! Why? This is the easy part!

Hank: And finally, you learned that chemical reactions actually happen in steps, that the slowest step determines the overall rate of the reaction, and that the- reeeeeeason for thaaaaaat!

Hank: You've also learned that I should have the teleprompter going faster..

Hank: You also heard some of the properties of these solids-lelelalalalalala! 

Hank: And diamond, are network- dah! Heuh! Heuuuuuh!

Hank: You learned that both diamond and graphite are both network solids made up of sure carbon atoms, but, but, butbutbutbutbu, but but but butbuttbut butbu but but!
Michael: Goodnight everybody!