Hank: Hello and welcome to LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4, in which Hank and Katherine play LEGO Harry Potter, Years 1-4.

Katherine: (Laughs). Currently playing year two.

H: We are on the Chamber of Secrets.

K: In it!

H: We have all...we are not in the Chamber of Secrets.

K: We are in it!

H: No. Not even a little bit. We are...

K: (Laughs). We are...we are close to it.

H: Ahhh! Come back, cloud! Stop screaming, you little children! I made flowers. Oh, what did...you made a thing out of flowers! It's a post box. 

K: Where do I put it?

H: I don't...hello Gilderoy Lockhart! 

K: Where do I stick it? Out of my way! 

H: Where do I stick it? I'm sorry I do not know the an....oh yay you found him! 

K: Yay Hedwig!

H: Fast Dig unlocked!

K: Oh that's...that's helpful.

H: That will be helpful for...

K: Fanger.

H: For Fanger.

K: Helpful Fanger, yes.

H: Alright.

K: Ahhh! Ahhh.

H: Ahhh I know it sucks to be Harry Potter, everybody hates me!

K: Yeah.

H: (Makes sound effects)

K: Pressure. The pressure! I can't. I am a brain!

H: I amble-brain!

K: I ambly brain.

H: Ambly brain.

K: Bambledy garbles.

H: Garbledina.

K: Ambledy garbles marble.

H: Are we playing some more Quidditch?

K: Larble leeble luh.

H: I love Quidditch! Spin it.

K: Yep.

H: That was useless and nothing happened.

K: Yeah I did that last time and you yelled at me. 'Cause you were like...what are you doing?

H: What are you doing? Why are you spinning flowers? We made all these flags last time. They're still undone.

K: Yep. Yep. Yeah.

H: Alright, I don't remember how this Quidditch game goes. 

K: Uh, this is the one where he loses...his bones or something, right?

H: Oh yeah. He falls of, somebody...or the Dementors? Don't the Dementors scare him off and he breaks his bones? But yes, it's certainly Gilderoy year where he...ahhh Bludger! Where's the glass? Where is the glass?

K: Well it's gotta be somewhere. Gotta be somewhere.

H: Gotta be somewhere!

K: Can't jump when I'm holding this thing...

H: I know, it makes you very slow. Which is why I'm scouting for you.

K: Scout it!

H: Scouting...

K: I didn't see one.

H: I don't see it either. Maybe it's inside. No, that doesn't make sense.

K: No. Maybe I just have to plant it. 

H: Maybe.

K: Maaaaybe it...maybe it makes the Bludger stop.

H: Maybe? I don't know...

K: That doesn't seem...

H: The Bludger doesn't seem to be doing anything bad, though.

K: No.

H: Alright, plant it. Hello, Bludger. Are you gonna hurt me? Oh.

K: It does make the Bludger stop.

H: It made it stop. Not that it did anything. It was...I don't know. Who knows?

K: What?

H: Let's go in the tent.

K: Okay. What is the...oh, it's a broom.

H: It's a broom.

K: I like wearing earmuffs.

H: I'm glad that you have acquired the ability to wear earmuffs in the video games.

K: I like to be able to wear earmuffs whenever I like.

H: Whenever I like! I like it when it's a spear through my head.

K: That seems like a very hipster kind of thing to do.

H: Yeah. We should have goggles too.

K: Earmuffs...earmuffs, legwarmers. No that's like, steampunk. And a tiny shkirt.

H: Tiny, tiny shkirt.

K: Tiny shkirt. That was a....and like, yeah.

H: Oh, Whoa!! Oh it's a...yeah it's a cursed Bludger.

K: See, a rogue Bludger.

H: Ahh!

K: Which Dobby gave him.

H: Right, it's from Dobby. Yes, that is correct.

K: Dobby...(Laughs).

H: Haha! Lick those balls!

K: (Laughing) Gilderoy Lockhart licking balls. Why? Why are you so gross?

H: It comes back out of the hole.

Both: (Laughing)

H: It comes back out of the hole.

K: That's not...

H: That's not...nope.

K: That's not...don't say it. 

H: Don't make it come back out of the hole.

K: Don't make the she said.

H: Every time we play everybody, like, comments

K: That's what she said!

H: That's what she said, it's just like one long that's what she said.

K: That's what she said! That's what she said! It's not our fault. You know?

H: It's not our fault!

K: It's your dirty minds makin' those things happen.

H: Yep. I made a hole. 

K: Yeah you did, let's go down it.

H: That's what she said.

K: (Laughs). Ooh, a ladder.

H: Outta my way!

K: I don't know why it was taking me so long?

H: I cannot go down the hole.

K: Not my fault. Not my fault that you can't find the hole.

Both: (Laughing)

K: Oh I was trying. I was trying so hard to find the hole. What?

H: Hello. Ooh!

K: What?

H: Triple!

K: Bludger? How did you get out?

H: (Mumbles made up words) I like the noise the Bludgers make in the movies.

K: I'm confused, now. Okay. What are we doing?

H: I don't know! We have Hagrid, maybe he has to pull something.

K: Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe pulling. Can't go, can't go this way. Shoot it! Shoot that thing!

H: I did. I shot it.

K: Shoot the nuts out of it!

H: Shot it's nuts out. Yeah, that's a...

K: Ah, there we go.

H: Hey, good job.

K: I had to shoot the Bludger. Mmm.

H: What is it doing?

K: Oooh! Spinny flag!

H: What...are they walking?

K: Who cares? Just do it!

H: I'm stuck on a thing.

K: Oh, my god.

H: (Makes sound effects) Am I making a staircase or something?

K: Build us some Frickin'...bouncy castles.

H: It is bouncy. Frickin' build us a bouncy castle. I love bouncy castles. Hey, Dobby, stop, you freak!

K: Hagger?

H: I hit him...Oh, then he vanished. Of course he vanished.

K: Make yourself useful, Hagger.

H: Oh, that was a bad idea.

K: (Laughs)

H: I was like, I'll just try jumping!

K: I'm clearly up to something...what?

H: Hello, what are...synchronized wizard dance! 

K: Cheerleaders or something?

H: I don't know but it's hilarious. It's hilarious.

K: I don't like shooting the Dobby.

H: (Singing) It's hilarious! (Speaking) Me neither.

K: Why would I? It's not nice.

H: (Singing) Hilarious! (Speaking) Ah, jeez how many spells do I need to get through this thing? Hello...Out of my way snake plant!

K: Ooh, Snitch!

H: Snitch! Got the Snitch out! We released the Snitch!!

K: Release the Snitchy!

H: Dobby has three more hearts. Was that my fault? Yes it was. That was my fault. I admit...alright, build that staircase.

K: I love these ones 'cause it's like, clear where you need to be going or...

H: Yeah, it's fun. Yes.

K: You know, like. 

H: Yes, things are new.

K: Yeah. Um, always, always...obvious tasks...

H: Where did you go, you stupid Dob Monster. Yes! House thing!

K: Why are you so far away? Ahhh! I'm getting squished, you dip!

H: Oh my god, did I hit him? Did you call me a dip?

K: Yes!

H: What am I doing with this...

K: You were not cooperating with me.

H: Hello...What am I doing with this giant purple rock?

K: Obviously you're aiming it for this purple thing right here.

H: Oh, purple. You gotta line up the colors.

K: Close. There you go!

H: There we go. Just had to fit the thing into the thing.

K: Out of my way, chair!

H: Purple...ooh! That was a lot of bolts. Yes! Get that little Dob Monster! Stupid face! Stop hurting Harry! Oh are you inside one of those three cabinets?

K: He is now.

H: And..yoink! Oh, we made a giant monster loose. That's perfect. That'll make everyone happier.

K: What the...

H: Free the monster!

K: What in the frick. Okay, why? Why? 

H: I don't know. That did not work, hello? Oh, we have to make a bridge.

K: What? 

H: Make a bridge! Make stairs.

K: Oh, stairs. Okay.

H: I am way too heavy for that.

K: You are not helping. Whoooa okay! Whoa okay whoakay, whoakay, whoakay. Ah, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush shush shush shush shush shush shush. (Laughs). Good enough!

H: Ahh! Ohh! Yeah, I got you little Dobby! Only one heart left you little stupid house-elf! Ooh, Nimbus!

K: Ooh, beautiful brooms

H: Nimbi two thousands!

K: Go that way? Great.

H: (Sings a Harry Potter song)

K: Why would I do that? Why would I build a Slytherin banner? Eh. No.

H: Oh jeez, that thing's got double protection. Hello you stupid, stupid...shoot you, shoot you, shoot you again. Hello, Lemon. Hi!

K: What...what are you guys doin'? Hm?

H: I don't know, are you hitting Z?

K: I did that already and it built this bridge!

H: OH!

K: Which you...

H: I walked off of it! It's hard!

K: Are bad at.

H: Dobby where are you? Got you! There's like, other stuff..

K: Noooo!

H: What happened? What?

K: I was gonna build a thing! Damn!

H: Oh there was more things to build. Oh, ah, yeah I have to get the snitch! And I got it and...Bludged! Bludged!

K: Bludgerrrrrr!

Both: Ohhhhhhh

H: Crickity crackity.

K: Brush on my rear!

H: What is...what was Dobby's goal there?

K: To make Harry Potter go home.

H: Go home Harry Potter. Ohhhhhhhhhhh.

K: So useless!

H: Skele-Gro!

K: Fancy...

H: (Laughs) This is wrong. Outta my way you stupid man.

K: Saggy arm.

H: Are you out of Skele-Gro? What I...do I have to make it for you? Oh, come on!

K: Ohh..yes build it! And they...shall...collect all of the studs, ever.

H: And they shall collect...where's the ca...where's the cabinet? Over here. Oh there's a lock on it! We can't open locks. As far as I know?

K: That is correct. 

H: That's...a thing.

K: Maybe a key will come out of something.

H: Yeah! I made a funny skeleton dance. Yes! Shake your skeleton butt. Do the snippity snaps.

K: Madam Pomfrey can use spells that students don't learn. We can be Madam Pomfrey.

H: Oh...why are you still dancing?

K: Wow, that was a long dance!

H: It was a long dance.

K: (Sighs). Like, this one. With the...ah!

H: Wait...

K: Hm.

H: What are you doing? I'm gonna take this and put it in the pot.

K: I'm trying to open this...key...lock? 

H: Can you...can you change...

K: I don't know which spell I'm supposed to use, though.

H: That one looks good.

K: That's what I thought but it's not doing it.

H: Maybe you have to hit the other button.

K: Oh right, I was hitting the wrong button, as usual. I always hit the wrong button. 'Cause I am stupid.

H: Oh, what kind of earmuffs am I going to get this time. Oh, lame ones. Mandrake-butt, what are you doing my friend? Why are you on the other fucking side of...oops!

K: (Laughs) Oops!

H: Oops! Oops!

K: Oops, I mean...fricking.

H: All the way over here so I have walk even more. Good, now where's your pot?

K: So much going on!

H: Where is your...get the thing and put it in the pot!

K: Why don't you get the thing?

H: 'Cause I got a Mandrake.

K: But I don't wanna move too fast, there's so much to do still!

H: You don't wanna move too fast.

K: I don't...I don't wanna move too fast.

H: We're already at thirteen minutes.

K: We could have stopped before this but you didn't!

H: I felt like it was a natural continuance.

K: Look, this needs to break! Right there.

H: Where? What? Oh, that. I walked right past that.

K: Yup. You walked right past this one too.

H: I'm not doing anything. Oh that, that thing. Okay, I'm ma...oh man! Is this...

K: And this one right here...

H: I got it. There's one over here. How many...how many are there? I didn't see the number.

K: I didn't either. Hm.

H: It doesn't have a number.

K: There is no number.

H: It's not..it's not building towards anything useful. I still cannot find the Mandrake pot. There it is. Right Frickin' there. Get in the pot you dumb Mandrake! Okay. Uh, well we will continue, we have to find this lobster. And we will find this lobster next time on Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4.

K: Goodbye!

H: I am Hank.

K: This is Katherine.

H: And we are going to...

K: We are Hank and Katherine

H: You will hear us next time. Goodbye.

K: Goodbye.