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Game I Played:


Hank: Hello, and welcome to Games With Hank. I'm Hank, this is Games With Me, and additionally with Katherine. We are going to be playing here today, on Wii Wednesdays on Games With Hank, Super Mario 3D World. 

Katherine: Okay then.

Hank: Alright.

Katherine: Let's do it. 

Hank: Alright. 

Katherine: Alright.

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: Sounds good.

Hank: Alright.

Katherine: Let's do it.

Hank: You wanna start the music for us, Sam?

(both laugh)

Hank: I don't know, it seemed like the right thing to say.

 Game Begins

Hank: So last time, we defeated this castle. It was awesome. Now we've got even more stars to use and Luigi gets every frickin flag as an L because you're so great. Congratulations on always being better than me at everything.

Katherine: I love... green.

Hank: You love green? That's a weird thing to say. The next level, the grass won't be green, it will probably be desert-y. I'm a-right! I was right.

(00:53) Katherine: Grass. Desert. Fish. Ice.

Hank: Oh, look at that! Look at that desert ice hell. 

Katherine: (laughs)

Hank: Ice hell. It's frozen. When you're--

Katherine: It looks like custard. 

Hank: (laughs) Well, it's weird that the little pyramids jiggle. Usually pyramids don't jiggle. In my experience. (making noises to the music) 

 World 2-1 Conkdor Canyon (01:26)

Hank: Conkdor Canyon. (sings) Turn away and slam the door. How do you hurt them? You hit them on the head is how you hurt them! That's the only way. You are not a kitty.

Katherine: I know. It's very sad.

Hank: Very sad. Ahhhaa, bee, there's a bee, it's chasing me! There's a bee! There's two bees! They're chasing me, both chasing me. I got one of them.

Katherine: Do you want this kitty bell?

Hank: I do so bad. And I'm gonna turn it around and I almost lost it immediately, but it's OK, I didn't.

Katherine: Oh no!

Hank: Wait wait wait wait wait. Kitty for you, too. I almost got it and I didn't. So I'm nice. 

(02:11) Katherine: (laughs)

Hank: Not, I am not horrible, in other words. Stop, Conkdor! Stop. Conkdor, stop. Oh, you could just hit them too. 

Katherine: If you're a kitty. 

Hank: If you're a kitty. Oh, they're so funny! 

Katherine: Come on, kitty, come on! Ah, you can do it. 

Hank: He can't do it. 

Katherine: It's too far for kitty?

Hank: Maybe if you jump right? If you got the jump right -- I see what's up. I see what's up. Oh, careful, it's quicksand!

Katherine: Suu- suu- sussudio. 

Hank: suu- suu- sussudio. I had the same thought. We're so old. Oh my god.

(02:43) Katherine: Yeah, you've never even heard that song.

Hank: No, you haven't. No, you haven't. There's like, there's like three people over the age of 30 who watch this.

Katherine: Oh really?

Hank: Ahhhh. You did it. There's a, a big death?

Katherine: Ahhh! Sooooo many coins. So many coins!

Hank: Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it. Oh my god!

Katherine: SOOOO many coins!

Hank: Ahhhh. (laughs)

Katherine: So many!

Hank: I died. I died. Not worth it!

Katherine: So many. 

Both: (laugh)

(03:11) Hank: Not worth it. It maybe was. I didn't get a lot of...

Katherine: You were just like hanging there on the edge, which was a brilliant strategy, really.

Hank: Yeah. But I'm really not a kitty anymore. Oh geez. What have I done? Oh, what have I done? Oh, Conkdor! 

(03:24) Katherine: Now you're nothing, man. 

Hank: I'm not nothin'! I'm just little. 

Katherine: Aww, now you're a kitty. 

Hank: Hoo, Wooo, I almost wasn't though! Phew, Conkdor's are mean- oh geez! Alright, we have to run this together. Run the gauntlet. Three, two, go. Oh!

Both: (laugh)

Katherine: I didn't mean to...

Hank (laughs)

Katherine: that!

Hank: I'm not sure that that was the right solution...

Katherine: I don't think it was. 

Hank: the problem that we faced. What are you doing?

(03:54) Katherine: I don't know. There's coins in there. 

Hank: You're gonna die! 

Katherine: Yeah.

Hank: There's a fish in there too. 

Katherine: A fish? Oh, there's a fish. 

Hank: A little fish.

Katherine: How about that. 

(04:01) Hank: We're gonna get up there and see if we can see through some binoculars. Oh, nicely done. 

Katherine: Thanks. 

Hank: Nicely done, Allison. I don't know how that worked. I did it once.  (laughs) Yep, that's not workin'. 

Katherine: I mean...

Hank: You think that it would. You're like, "I want to use you."

Katherine: Yeah. Tell, show me your....

Hank: Okay, okay, whatever.

Katherine: ...jams. 

Hank: Show me your jams. 

Katherine: Jams. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

(04:27) Both: Ahhh. 

Katherine: Oh god. Oh no no no. No no no no no. Noooooo! No no no. Get up, get up, get, UH! 

Hank: Crap. 

Katherine: Ground pounded into the oblivion. Was ground pounded into oblivion. 

Hank: Into oblivion. Ahhh, man. 

Katherine: Oh great; bad -- bad -- bad jar.

Hank: Bad jorb. Conkdor, Conkdor.

Katherine: Oh, fricky...!

Both: (laugh)

(04:56) Katherine: It's hard to know how to --

Hank: It is, it is. 

Katherine:, do I push straight? Or do I push the direction...

Hank: You don't push straight.

Katherine: ...that I need to go? Okay, so...

Hank: It's really hard. It's super hard. 

Katherine (making noises)

Hank: This is like extremely difficult. 

Katherine: (whining noises)

Hank: Oh geez! I am the standing mostly not... This is hard...

Katherine: This is impossible. 

Hank: A F.  

Katherine: Why can't I go not diagonally. 

Hank: This is hard A...This is. This is hard A F. This is not good. I do not like it. 

Katherine: (laughs)

Hank: This is not well designed for this particular controller. If we had...

Katherine: (laughs)

Hank: If we had... I think if we had.. you have to get out of that, I'm gonna die and then we're gonna --

Katherine: Zig, zag, zig, zag...

Hank: There's 65 frickin seconds left. I've gonna figure out a better way...

Katherine: I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna...

Hank: Ow. 

Katherine: I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I DON'T WAHHH! 

Hank: Okay. Alright. We gotta move. 

Katherine: (makes distressed noises)

Hank: Gotta move. Gotta move fast, 45 seconds. 

Katherine: What? Come out, I can come out now, I'm done! I'm done! I'm dead! I'm in a bubble. Put me in a bubble! Ahhh. Panic. party. 

(06:09) Hank: Panic party. Panic pa...Oh my god! Oh NO! Oh god, no!

Both: (laughing)

Hank: Oh god. 

Katherine: Let's not put that one on the internet!

Hank: Ahhhh, I can't believe it!

Katherine: Well I couldn't see how far that jump was! 

Hank: I know! I know! I am in the same situation! 

Both: (discontent groaning noises)

Hank: Holy god! Frick this game! 


Hank: You start at the beginning? We start at the beginning?! 

Katherine: We didn't...there wasn't a flag, was there?

Hank: Why was there no flag?! That's ludicrous. 

Katherine: Meow meow.

H: Meow meow. Oh, fake coins! By which I mean...

K: I don't want to be in the damn sand!

H: Oh wow. You almost got got, but you got instead. Oh my god, I can't believe we have to do this all over again. You can only get so many and it's too bad.  Aw jeez. Watch out. Oh, nice! What! We don't -- I guess you can keep it in the -- in the bank.

K: OH (beep) (spitting noise)

H: Oh, just go up the sides, don't go up the middle.

K: You just went for it.

H: I did. I thought I was you, is part of it.

K: Oh. Well, that's helpful for me--

H: Wup!

K: --who is no longer a kitty.

K: Screw it! OK.

H: I just wanted to kill it.

K: Remember how it was when we had not very much time?

H: Noooooo! I died. OK. Excellent. Sometimes, I think it's coming down right were I can't be directly. Awesome. Super. Super great.

K: (laughs) HOAUGH! What happened? (laughs) I don't understand! I got the star -- from you -- somehow?

H: I don't -- I don't understand either. Oh, well, I popped you at least. Oh, you popped yourself. (8:19)

Katherine: I popped myself. pffffff Did you see that (beep)?

Hank: I did.

Katherine: Did you see that shhhhhh?

Hank: Stop Ka-

Katherine: shhhhh ssssss

Hank: What is this thing? Wait, wait, Katherine, Katherine, b- b-back up. 

Katherine: What? Can you go up there?

Hank: Yeah!

Katherine: How?

Hank: I don't know, I just sort of got in and then I jumped.

Katherine: What?

Hank: I know, weird. Look at this. I am- what the- What? I am a block.

Katherine: You're in a bock!

Hank: I am a bock.

Katherine: You're a muh-bock.

Hank: I'm just shedding coins

Katherine: That's pretty cool.

Hank: Yeah, I guess.

Katherine: He's down here again. 

Hank: I know, do we have more time this time? We do have more time.

Katherine: We have lots more time.

Hank: There's a miner.

Katherine: Yeah, let's get it.

Hank: It's being attacked. Toad miner.

Katherine: Well maybe we should save him.

Hank: Ow. Ow.

Katherine: We did it. (? 9:12) Show it.

Hank: YAAAAAaaaaw.

Katherine: So happy, so disappointed.

Hank: I wanted that actually. Oh, yeah, this is terrible.

Katherine: Where am I going? Where am I going?

Hank: Just stop. Just stop once it gets hard just stop.

Katherine: I tried to do it but I couldn't. fff-- sorry.

Hank: AAAAHHH No. What? What? What? wh-- I did it again. I did it again.

Katherine: OK, it's okay.

Hank: We got a flag this time, though. Oh, there's raccoons. Can we be raccoons?

Katherine: Yeah cuz it makes it easier for you.

Hank: It makes it easier for you.

Katherine: I makes it way easier.

Hank: I hate. I hate this part. Did you kill that thing?

Katherine: I don't know.

Hank: I think you did.

Katherine: Nooooo no no NOOOOOO no. Where are you going!? AH! (laughs) Why are you waiting for me, I clearly cannot do this part.

Hank: Well I'm waiting for you so if I fall you can un-bubble. (Katherine is breathing loudly) I'm like, invincible. This game has made it extremely easy--

Katherine: It's a game for children

Hank: --and it's still very hard.

Katherine: It's a game for children, and we stink at it.

Hank: (laughs) We're so bad.

Katherine: OK, can I-- get me out of the bubble.

Hank: Get this thing, get it. Get it. Maybe there's something good in this one. There is! There was something good in that one. I killed it. I'm super-mega-steel raccoon. We have to get this again. OK, give me the thing. Are you SERIOUS? (laughs)

Katherine: (laughs) It doesn't matter, we're not gonna make it past this part, anyway.

Hank: You just have to stop moving as soon as it gets scary.

Katherine: OK, I understand. huuuh, immediately. UUUUH you're leaving me behind! 

Hank: I stopped moving.

Katherine: Please wait for me! (hyperventilating) Good strategy, Hank. Good strategy.

Hank: I can't believe you got the 10,000 still. You are so good at jumping on flagpoles!

Katherine: So good at jumping on flagpoles!

Hank: You are the best flagpole sitter! Everything else I'm terrible at.

Katherine: That was really hard.

Hank: Aw, man, that was, uh, that's troubling since this is the first of the second level and there are eight.

Katherine: Yeah

Hank: So I'm troubled by how difficult a time we had

Katherine: That was challenging

Hank: Oh, Come on.

Katherine: Luigi! Go away go away go away

Hank: No no no no no stop talking to me I don't want-- what!? What?

Katherine: No!

Hank: No, cancel. Yes, save that and don't ask again.

 World 2-3 Shadow-Play Alley (12:11)

Hank: OK, we'll ask again later.

Katherine: You mean Google?

Hank: Yes. goo-tube

Katherine: goo-tube.

Hank: I'm still--

Katherine: You're a raccoon.

Hank: a raccoon!

Katherine: Yeah, but you're not an invincible raccoon.

Hank: I'm no longer invincible.

Katherine: OK, let's not wake these up, maybe. Okay, sh, sh, sh.

Hank: I can kill them with my butt.

Katherine: (gasp) Yeah, use your butt to kill them.

Hank: I am a butt-killer.

Katherine: This way. Let me off!

Hank: (laughs) I still, I don't even know how to do that.

Katherine: These you cannot kill, I do not think.

Hank: Come to me c-- awwww

Katherine: Welcome.

Hank: Yoinker. HUGH Oh my god. What just happened? (instant replay, slow-mo) HUGH Oh my god. What just happened?
Why did I ground pound?

Katherine: I think I- I think I may have done that to you.

Hank: I think-- I don't think I did it to me.

Katherine: I didn't mean to!

Hank: I know you didn't mean to.

Katherine: But it is possible that I did that-- to made that happen.

Hank: Oh, I made his friend kill him. Oh yeah, you get it baby. Oh, careful.

Katherine: That's weird.

Hank: I got it. That me to the river.

Katherine: The shadows are very-- what's happening?

Hank: I threw you. Nice, nice. Yes, good.

Katherine: Oh my god, oh my god.

Hank: Ow.

Katherine: Oh my god, oh my god. Those things, don't hit those things.

Hank: Oh that's big.

Katherine: You got my crown, too, that's not fair. 

Hank: Take that, Sylvester. Oh!

Katherine: Oh, kitty do it!

Hank: Take that!

Katherine: Oh, kitty do it!

Hank: I could've even not had to kill that big thing, but I wanted to anyway.

Katherine: Yeah, good job.

Hank: I'm a kitty. Why is he asleep?

Katherine: What's this? OK, that's terrifying. I'm behind, back here and I don't know where I am.

Hank: My--kitties? What happened to my kitty? And my crown?

Katherine: Let me off.

Hank: uh, OK, there's a star under here. And I got it. That was confusing. And why am I not a kitty anymore, I'm angry.

Katherine: Oh boy.

Hank: Shadows of the empire. Oh gosh. I don't like it when I bounce off of you.

Katherine: Yeah well stop jumping on me.

Hank: Well I went in there, that's not actually what I meant to do.

Katherine: Oh my god

Hank: Are you serious right now? Save me! (both laughing) You didn't save me. You just threw me right off. You just threw me like "hey bro! DIE!! Just die. Frickin be a dead person." 

Katherine: I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just when I run it's the same button as-- 

Hank: Grab and run and then throw is you know, quite similar as well.

Katherine: Besides, I just jumped off the edge, so...

Hank: You did. You evened it out. Did I just go in the wrong door?

Katherine: Yeah.

Hank: I wanted to go in here.

Katherine: We only have 99 seconds.

Hank: I know, let's go fast. I'm gonna run into a wall really fast. Are you OK? Are you OK little toad man? Hey, it's a fake. It's fake, it's not real. It's fake, see. It's fake, we're all good.

Katherine: Give us the star.

Hank: Gimme a star.

Katherine: Give us the star.

Hank: Oh yeah! Alright, let's try and make this count. I'm gonna come, too. I don't-- What do you do? You have a secret! (Katherine laughing) You're not telling me your secret.

Katherine: I push the run button and then I hold the jump button.

Hank: Oh, I think holding the jump button makes you jump farther. That would be new information for me, if that is the case.

Katherine: well, I didn't know that, I just did it.

Both: Instinctively.

Hank: Eh!

Katherine: Yeah, I uh. Good job.

Hank: Thanks

Katherine: You're welcome kitty.

Hank: I'm proud of me.

Katherine: Kitty is also very proud of you, she said "meow"

Hank: She did. Was that our first try on that level? It was. We did it our first try. after all of the terribleness that happened at the beginning of this episode of Games with Hank, in which Hank and Katherine were both Hank and the game was Super Mario World 3D. (Katherine yawns) Thanks for watching! That was fun. Kitties.

Katherine: Kitties!