YouTube: https://youtube.com/watch?v=eQs7Kzs6KTw
Previous: History of Pride
Next: Effects of Porn

Categories

Statistics

View count:73,594
Likes:2,146
Dislikes:56
Comments:719
Duration:04:39
Uploaded:2015-06-24
Last sync:2018-04-23 17:40
I like answering your questions; they're all so good. If you're looking for additional answers to the ones I've shared there are many great resources for you: http://www.scarleteen.com
http://answer.rutgers.edu
http://sexetc.org

Special thanks to Peter @goverbanoun for the bidet suggestion and Matthew Gaydos for all the videography, editing, direction, and coaching me through the newer experience of being feisty on camera.

To ask Sexplanations more questions you can find us in the comments, @elleteedee on Twitter, tumblingdoe on Tumblr, and Sexplanations on Facebook.

Here are links I mentioned in the video:
1:07 Smegma : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3JE8oj_bWI
1:42 Bidet : http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/261652350489?lpid=82&chn=ps
2:39 Coloring book : http://store.dftba.com/products/monsterbating-masters-coloring-book
4:27 T-shirt : http://store.dftba.com/products/stay-curious-shirt

Stay curious!
Recently I received this message: "Doctor Doe, I'm currently reading my senior essay about the effects of the lack of education in America and I would love to use you as a source but I'm having issues proving to my teacher that you're a credible source. Is there any way you could point me in the right direction?"

I think people expect having a degree or three, my doctorate in human sexuality, nearly a decade of teaching it, a thesis on sex, my honors symposium on sex education, work in the nonprofit sector, owning a sexual health center or seeing clients in my private practice is credibility. Those are my credits earned, what I can accredit my knowledge and trustworthiness to, but when asked if I'm a credible source on the lack of education in America, I'm not credible because of any of that! My credibility is not what I've done but who I am, what I value. I value researching the crap out of things or speaking to first hand experiences when they're isn't research. I try because I value honesty to be honest and when I fail it's not a loss of credibility, it's a requirement of being human.

"Is finding tiny bits a toilet paper under my clitoral hood bad? I'm curious because I want to know if it could be to some sort of clogging or infection."

Are you sure its toilet paper and not smegma? Remove both. Of course it's gonna build up if you wipe and things stick to other things, just make sure that you're rinsing it out regularly every day or two. Be on top of your hygiene.

"I'm a large, overweight biosex female. I have the hardest time trying to stay clean and wiping. I can barely reach my clit and I can't reach behind me. What the heck am I supposed to do about that I'm so frustrated. Got any ideas?"

This goes for the last question too, bidets. You may think "What! Order one of those porcelain tubs for my floor to shoot water up my bum, Lindsey I'm not into expensive bathroom reconstruction!" But check it out, you can buy bidet attachments on line for 37 bucks that connect directly to the water source so that you get fresh water splashed onto your parts without needing to reach or wipe. Then if you want to keep things dry so they're not all clammy, a hairdryer.

"I know we shouldn't be valued on whether or not we're virgins but I have a question. If someone were to be raped or molested, are they still a virgin?"

The answer depends on who is regulating the experiences of a person's body. In other words it depends on if it's a traditional, modern, ethical or religious meaning of "virgin." Ask yourself for a moment why it matters and when you realize it's about the patriarchy determining the value of a woman because of her vagina, gag the vomit it back into your stomach and remove "virgin" from your vocabulary.

"I've been masturbating not frequently but on a regular basis for the past 3 years. I've tried many different things: fantasizing (girls, I'm gay but I've tried guys too), porn, different positions, music, in the shower and I've never reached orgasm. There are few things I haven't tried like toys and I'm working on it, but what would you suggest I do?"

There are workshops working with a clinical sexologist, there's this book, this one, this one, this one. They'll all give you long-form suggestions. Here's my oddly effective suggestion: find a book to read, something that takes a lot of concentration like french history then touch yourself while you read it. The whole book please do let me know how it goes.

"One of my closest friends has a crush on me, but I don't share those feelings. How can I get her not to like me that way so we can just be friends?"

She can't control not liking you, you can't get her to. You can use your words, saying to her "You're one of my closest friends. You have a crush on me but I don't share those feelings. How can I help return our relationship to one of non-crushing friendship?" Give it time and probably space too.

"My partner (cis male) is always disappointed when/if I don't cum during penis-in-vag sex, and wants to continue with his hands, tongue, or other things to get me there. While I completely appreciate this, I also feel like it's not worth it because I take too long and I don't want to inconvenience him. Also at times I feel perfectly fine not cumming considering it's still very pleasurable for me without orgasm, and sometimes it's kind of a hassle if he wants to keep going. He doesn't get the latter and I haven't told him the former. How can I convey both to him?"

What you could say is "This isn't doing it for me. What would be great is if you (blank) while I (blank)." Orgasms are like sunsets, they're beautiful and I could have one every day but sometimes I'm happy just being in the Sun and I don't need to see it set. Sometimes I have shit to do.

"Me and my friend were discussing this topic: if being "horny" is the term for wanting to have sex with someone/craving sex, what would be the term for wanting to cuddle somebody craving human contact?"

I'm unaware if this term exists but I want it to exist, I wanna say it and I want to write a song about it. I propose a contest: starting now submit your words defined as the feeling of craving non-sexual body contact in the comments and upvote the ones you like. The candidate whose term has the most thumbs up by June 29th at 9 a.m. Mountain Time will get one of these t-shirts. Stay curious!

I'm going to participate in my own contest because that's how I do, so if you want me to win but still want a t-shirt, you can get one at dftba.com.