Good morning, Henry, it's Friday April 9th, 2010. At this moment, for me, you are a tiny, tiny baby. However, I am assuming that you will watch this video when you are a little bit older.

Let's just be honest here...your dad--my brother--not so good at the science stuff, and he is concerned that you are going to be a very curious little boy and you're gonna ask all kinds of questions that John just won't be able to answer.

Luckily for you, I am smart in the ways that your dad is stupid! So we wanted to preemptively answer some of the questions that you might have about the world.

In this video, you are going to be portrayed by me, wearing this hat.

HENRY: What are rainbows?

HANK: Well, Henry, white light is actually not just white. It's a bunch of different colors all mashed together. And when light goes through water droplets, those different colors break apart, and the different parts of white light are in fact the colors that you see as a rainbow.

HENRY: Why is the sky blue?

HANK: Just like I said before, the sun's light is made up of lots of different parts, and those parts have different properties, and react differently to different stuff. So when blue light hits oxygen and nitrogen, it bounces all around in the atmosphere. And that is why when you look up, the sky looks blue.

HENRY: How does the internet work?

HANK: Well, Henry, your brother and I make videos and we upload them onto a site called YouTube, and then people watch them, and sometimes we get email. Beyond that, I really have no idea.

HENRY: Where does the sun go at night?

HANK: We live on a big ball called the Earth. It's a humongous ball, and because I am good at science and not sports, we're going to represent this ball with Obi-Wan Kenobi's head. It spins. The sun is also a ball, but let's just for now say that Obi-Wan's lightsaber is the sun. The sun is here, always staying in the same position. Whereas Obi-Wan Kenobi's head is spinning. So if we're on Obi-Wan Kenobi's face here, then right now, we are in the sun's light. But as he spins around, now we are not in the sun's light, but the sun is still always there.

HENRY: How do clouds stay up in the sky?

HANK: Clouds are actually made up of really REALLY tiny droplets of water. Sometimes when a drop of water gets big enough, it falls out of the sky, and that is what rain is. But most of the time, the droplets of water are so small that they just get blown around by air currents, staying up in the sky like a feather. Like a really, really light feather.

HENRY: Where do hamburgers come from?

HANK: Well Henry, baby cows are kidnapped from their mommies at a very young age and then shipped off to confined animal feeding operations. And then, after they get big and fat, we kill them and grind up their body parts and then eat them. Because it's delicious.

HENRY: Where do babies come from?

HANK: Ummmm...well...when a male member of a species loves a female member of the same species, he...deposits his uniphalangear haploid gamete on top of her much larger stationery haploid gamete.

HENRY: Why don't trees move?

HANK: Um...I...because I guess they don't have anywhere to go!

HENRY: Why is my hair dark?

HANK: Because your mommy's genes were stronger than your daddy's genes.

HENRY: Why does my daddy scream into video cameras?

HANK: Because he's talking to me!

HENRY: Oww! Why does fire hurt?

HANK: Fire hurts because it's made up mostly of energy, and when energy enters you, it can be pleasant like standing in a sunshiny day. But if it's too much energy, it'll actually start to break up the bonds that make up the chemicals that make up your hands. That's right, your hands are made of chemicals. And when that happens, your body is like "NO MAKE THAT STOP!" and so it tells you that there's something wrong, which is why we feel pain.

HENRY: Why is my daddy's hair puffy?

HANK: Ahh...because he's a little bit stressed out right now, but I'm sure that it has nothing to do with you.

HENRY: What is a horcrux?

HANK: Young man, where did you hear that word!

HENRY: How do planes stay up?

HANK: Airplanes' wings are flat on the bottom and curved on top. And when that shape moves very fast through the air, what happens is the air across the top has to travel faster than the air on the bottom. There is thus less air on the top, and more air on the bottom. So there's a high pressure on the bottom, and low pressure on top, and that actually pushes the plane up into the air!

HENRY: Why do people do bad things?

HANK: That's not really a science question...you should probably ask your dad about that one. Because their parents weren't as kind and loving as yours are.

HENRY: What does getting "knocked up" mean?

HANK: Aaahhh...uh...it's the opposite of getting knocked down. Question time over.

HENRY: But that doesn't make any--

HANK: QUESTION TIME OVER!

Henry, I hope you learned a lot, and I hope you become a little scientist like me. Those genes have gotta be in there somewhere. John, I will see you on Monday.