Good morning Hank, it’s Tuesday. 

So, it’s been a rough week. Rough couple months, really. And I know the hard part for you is just beginning as you start chemo, and mostly I just want you to know that I love you, and that there are a lot of people in your corner. 

That noted, yesterday you and I were talking on the phone, and Sarah came in after we chatted and she said, “What was so funny?” Because apparently we were laughing a lot, and obviously you having lymphoma is not a hilarious turn of events, but there are funny aspects to it. 

Like it was pretty funny when you wrote on Twitter, “I’m getting chemo, send me pelican pics,” and then replied a couple minutes later, “I’m sorry if this is how you found out.” 

And it was funny when someone wrote on Tumblr, “Not me wondering which “All Star” lyric Hank would have picked had this happened during the Vlogbrothers “All Star” era.” Like “the world is going to roll me” is the obvious one, but I think you might have gone for something a little more abstract, like “the ice we skate.”

Also it was funny when, with your enthusiastic encouragement, the website dayssincehankgreenlaststartedanewthing.com reset to zero, with the new thing not being a YouTube channel or a soap company, but chemotherapy. 

And it was funny, albeit less intentionally, when I went to our YouTube account and it was like, “hey, sorry about the cancer, but congrats on all the views! Here’s some confetti!” 

This is a phenomenon I’ve witnessed a bunch in my life, as a chaplain, as a kid whose dad had cancer twice when we were little, and also when I’ve had serious health problems of my own. It’s awful, it’s terrifying, it’s not always or even usually funny, but it is sometimes funny if the laughs come from a place of love and understanding. 

For instance, I didn't find it particularly funny when someone answered the question "who is Hank Green" with "he's some kind of YouTuber, but with cancer." Like I get that's trying to be clever, but just... ick.

To work, the humor has to feel like love rather than judgment, like inclusion rather than stigma, and like celebration rather than dismissal. And that's a tough balance. Sometimes well-intentioned people, including me, get it wrong. And it also depends on who's saying it and the context.

Like when I was hospitalized with meningitis, my best friend Chris showed up at the ER, and the first thing he said was, "I thought you'd already had all the -itis-es." Which I thought was hilarious, but if my doctor had said it, I would have been less amused. 

So listen, I don't understand how grief and fear and uncertainty live alongside humor, but I know they have to, because life, in all its complexity and paradox, is still life. 

Like at Partners in Health they talk a lot about accompaniment, walking someone's path with them so they don't feel alone, listening always, and helping when you can. For PIH, that's key to good healthcare, but I think for all of us, it's key to a good life. 

Now Hank, you specifically said you were good with prayers, so this is my prayer for you, and for all of us. I pray that we may be justified in our hope, and un-alone in our sorrow. 

All right, there is one more thing to talk about. I know this is an incredibly difficult time for you and for our family and for this community. But please spare a thought for the employees of dftba.com, our merch company, and Complexly, our educational video production company, who now have this guy, Kirkland-brand Hank Green, as their temporary CEO. 

I mean, I now understand concretely what I used to know only abstractly, which is that Hank Green does a lot of things very well. And now John Green is going to do some of those things less well. 

But like the world still needs Crash Course and SciShow and everything else Complexly makes, and our colleagues from Missoula to Sierra Leone are counting on us to continue the Awesome Coffee and Socks clubs and everything else DFTBA makes.

So I do want to say how grateful I am to the over 100 people who work for those companies for stepping up and supporting each other through this. And I also want to say thank you to everyone in this community for your kindnesses toward us and toward each other. It has meant a lot this week. 

I'm so grateful to y'all for being here with us. Hank, whether I see you on Friday or not, I'll see you soon.