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[Intro: throat clearing sound, whip cracking sound]

Welcome to Sexplanations. I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, clinical sexologist and host of this sex-curious show. I have been wanting to go on fifty dates for a really long time because I've never really experienced that. Haven't had that opportunity, so when I found somebody who has done this, I invited her as a guest onto the show.

Sydney! Sydney! Hi!

Sydney: Hi. 

LD: Welcome to Sexplanations.

S: Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

LD: Yeah. Thanks for going on fifty dates.

S: You're welcome. 

LD: Specifically fifty dates, not...

S: Fifty dates...

LD: ...fifty first dates.

S: No, no, no. Not fifty first dates. 


S: There was like, fifty dates and maybe fifteen people. From January to now. 

LD: Wow. So, like, pandemic dates.

S: Yeah, it was pandemic dating. There was a little bit more navigation involved.

LD: OK! I'm so excited. Please tell me all about it, because I think I've only managed, like four dates. Ever.

S: In your life?

LD: Yeah, because I would just hang out with someone, and then we would... be. 

S: OK. Maybe it's your generation [both laugh]. I think we're the same generation. 

LD: See, you're so old, you just like, date to marry, move her along. I mean, yeah, probably? You have a few years. I am a millennial. You are a millennial?

S: So technically we're the same generation.

LD: Kay. Whatever. Doesn't matter. 

S: Doesn't matter.

LD: So tell me about your dating. 

S: OK. So I started dating last fall pretty consistently.


S: And all via Bumble. And I love Bumble. And one of the reasons I love Bumble is because you know what you're getting yourself into, for the most part. You see the person, you kind of know their activities, and here in Missoula, like, it's a small town, like you kind of know what you're getting. 

LD: OK, as a woman though...


LD: date all genders? 

S: I do. That, that has been more recent. 

LD: Ok, but more recent from the dating? Like did you ever have a situation where it was you and another woman? 

S: Dating on Bumble?

LD: Yeah.

S: Yes. 

LD: And then anybody makes the first move?

S: I was wondering about that. I think it's anybody. If you live under a rock and you don't know about Bumble, the woman makes the first move.

LD: Yeah. Mine is always just the hand emoji, just like, hey, I'm here acknowledging that you are a thing that I maybe want. Please feel free. Equality. 

S: Uh huh. 

LD: Keep going.

S: I've heard about the hand emoji, and um...

LD: That my partner is not a fan of that move?

S: Yes! He told me that, and I was like, "That is a very odd pick up line." Which is fine. 

LD: Equality! OK, keep going.

S: Anyways, so yeah, I met people on Bumble. I think what I have found is really important for Bumble is — and for dating in general — is going in not expecting to find your life partner. Like, you need to be very open-minded about what you're looking for, and like, open to experiences because if you approach it from that angle, then it's much harder to be let down. And if you have, like a very strange date or you meet a very strange person, you can just laugh about it with your friends or on YouTube. 

LD: Oh gosh! Your poor dates!

S: No, no, no, wait! I have been very lucky. I've been very lucky and I've only had very good dates. But I think part of it is because I go in not expecting to, like oh I want to meet this person and then go on many dates with them and have sex and get married and have kids. It's more of, like oh, I love meeting people, and I'm interested in this person and I know, because we already met via the platform, that they are interested in me. And so it like gives you someplace to stand.