Good morning John, happy Esther day. I love you and here's a wonderful thing. This is getting easier, and I have some ideas about why. If I try and look deeply at why it's hard to say 'I love you' to you but easier to say it to mom or Catherine or Oren... First of all, it's very hard to say why we do or feel anything. Humans are both very complicated and very simple and the complicated parts make it hard to see the simple parts. I'm going to try though. The simplest answer here is that saying 'I love you' leaves you very vulnerable, it's like saying, "You have the power to hurt me so, so much" and like I'm not consciously worried about you hurting me. I'm not eve, really, I don't think subconsciously worried about you hurting me, but I think that I, at one point in the past, was. Brothers can have competitive, sometimes antagonistic relationships. That's certainly been the case in the past for us. It has been a long time since our relationship has been traditionally like zero-sum competitive. But to some extent, it once was, and like that's in the foundation, right? That's down there. Our relationship has built over time and there's stuff that is there from the whole time, right? It's all in there. I think the way that that foundation has continued to affect however it has constructed itself over time, has been like, you know. It's been about collaboration. It's about earning each other's respect. It's about being impressed by each other. That's a lot, not all, of what our relationship has been built on for a long time and 'I love you' doesn't really fit into the shape of that relationship? Instead of 'I'm proud of you', 'I really like that thing that you made' it's 'I don't care what you do. I love you, you are my brother and I will always love you and care about you.' It's a completely different playing field. And it's a good playing field, it's just not where we have traditionally spent time, so it's uncomfortable. So with all that out there, here's why I think it might be getting easier. First, we're getting older and accomplishment and competition are just more tempered, I think? The old playing field seems a little less valuable. This new one seems a little more present. Second, maybe you have always been, but I am more aware of the fact that all of this is temporary. There's just a deeper, truer thing than, like, earning each other's respect through accomplishment and that thing is going to be more and more important in the future. And third, and god bless her for it, Esther made us practise. For those of you who don't know, Esther Earl was a member of our community early on and she died of cancer in 2010. When her friends and family asked how she would like her birthday to be celebrated after she was gone, she said she wanted it to be like a time to celebrate non-romantic love, like a valentine's day but for all the other kinds of love. Pretty much the best answer she possibly could have given. The first time you do anything new it's gonna be hard and oftentimes, if it's out of your typical experience, it's hard the fifth time. But now it's been like 12 times and that is a gift. That's a good gift. A couple of Esther Day updates- tonight at 8 pm at eastern time there's gonna be a livestream that will feature some people from This Star Won't Go Out, Esther's family and John and Sarah and the Animals Wonders folks. And there's also this beautiful t-shirt designed by Karen Hallion. All the proceeds from that will go to This Star Won't Go Out, which is a charity that helps families with sick kids. John, I love you and I'll see you on Tuesday.