Good morning, Hank, it's Wednesday, July 26th. VidCon starts tomorrow, and I have lots of exciting announcements today, beginning with the boxes behind m... Wait. What are you doing there?

Clone John: Signing books.

Actual John: Well, get out of the frame!

Clone John: All right.

Actual John: Ugh. Clones, Hank. You can't live with them, and you can't sign a crapton of books without them.

So Hank, exciting announcement #1, Penguin has moved the publication date of The Fault in Our Stars forward by five months, from May 1st to January 10th. The book will now be published on January 10, 2012. They called me, and they were like, we've been watching the comments on your internet television show, and it appears that the Nerdfighters would like the book to come out before May.
And I was like, yeah, of course they would. So would I!
And then poof! It happened!

Nerdfighters, I cannot thank you enough. If it weren't for your hardcore pre-ordering, people would have to wait until May to read this book, but because you are awesome, they get to read it five months earlier!

But Hank, then there's this small matter of having agreed to autograph every copy of the first printing of The Fault in Our Stars. I knew that would be quite an endeavor, but um, yeah.

The Yeti actually made me a thermometer to help me chart my progress, all the way to 150,000 books.

So Hank, we've learned never to underestimate Nerdfighters, right? I mean, these are people who raised $150,000 in 48 hours during the Project for Awesome. People who got your album on the Billboard charts. People who chartered airplanes full of live saving medical supplies to Haiti. People who got Helen Hunt to hear the Helen Hunt song and threatened you with a restraining order. And yet it seems I have managed again to underestimate Nerdfighteria.

Hank, a Nerdfighter recently guessed on her blog that I'd have to sign 70,000 books in about 180 days, and according to her calculations, I couldn't do it. Well, I have to sign twice that many books in half that much time, and I'm gonna do it! I'm just not quite sure how, so I'm gonna call Brotherhood 2.0 resident mathematician and Illinois State Representative, Daniel Biss.

John [on the phone]: So I have to sign 150,000 copies of The Fault in Our Stars.

Daniel Biss: 2,000 books a day.

John [nods]: 2,000 books a day.

Biss: Yeah. That's a lot of books, John.

John: Yeah. I mean, it's not a lot of books to do in one day, it's a lot of books to do 75 days in a row.

So Hank, these boxes contain 150,000 pages. I sign each of them and then they go to Pennsylvania, where together with the rest of the pages in The Fault in Our Stars, they are bound and there's a cover, which I would like to show you, but it doesn't exist yet. Although here are some awesome covers designed by Nerdfighters.

So I've got a couple things working in my favor here. Number one, my signature, like my rap name, is J-Scribble, relatively straight forward. In fact, this is the first one I signed, I should probably write a little note or something.

[reads] This was the first one.

Cool note, bro.

And number two, I really want to sign all these books for you, because I like the idea of all these signed books going into awesome Nerdfightastic homes. It's like if I had a ton of puppies and they all got adopted by awesome people.

Long story short, all pre-orders, no matter where you live, the US, the UK, Canada, Malaysia, ALL pre-ordered copies of The Fault in Our Stars will be signed, I promise I'm gonna get it done.

Links in the doobly-doo. Which is now sometimes kinda over here, if you're watching on the Aggressive Panda.

And lastly, Hank, there is the question of Sharpie color. Nerdfighters voted on a poll in Your Pants about which color Sharpie I should use to sign these books. Green won. But I don't really ascribe to winner take all philosophy, so I'm gonna do it like a German federal parliament, where it's like 40% green, 20% purple, et cetera.

Oh, and there's one more awesome announcement. Next year's VidCon will be at the Anaheim Convention Center. Even if you can't go to this year's VidCon, you can go to vidcon.com and sign up to find more about next year.

Hank, I will see you tomorrow.