Lindsey: Berries, balls, ballz, jewels, huevos, nads, rocks, gear, dangly bits, sperm banks, testes, deez nuts, whatever you call them, no matter how many times they've been kicked or how low they hang, I've got a Sexplanations for you about testicles.

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When I was a kid I told my brother his testicles were made of peanut butter. They're not. Testicles are a pair of egg-shaped organs made of tiny coiled tubes that:
1. produce hormones
2. produce sperm and
3. move these hormones and sperms along to other parts of the body.

Mostly we're talking about seminiferous tubules, 300 meters per testicle of sperm subway system nicely encased so everything is so smooth. The epididymis and vas deferens are more tubing that moves the sperm from the testes to be ejaculated.

Oh, you know vas deferens, like vasectomy, these are the tubes that are cut or blocked to prevent sperm from getting into the semen. This episode.

Holding all this in place is a highly sophisticated temperature regulating sack called the scrotum, or ballsack, or bean bag, or coin purse. It's able to hold the left and right nads at different heights, usually the lower on the left. This prevents them from smashing one another and keeps the sperm in there an optimal three degrees below the rest of your body. So when it's chilly the scrotum's muscular netting, all those wrinkles, pulls the balls up closer to the body core, and hangs them low and breezy when it's hot to protect the sperm.

If you're doing regular ball checks to note the health of your parts, the best time is after a hot shower because the testicles will be all "Here I am, accessible and relaxed." Just move the penis to the side, hold them one at a time to feel for any lumps on the surface that would otherwise be smooth. Just remember the epididymis and vas deferens are sperm tubing, not a cancerous growth; if you feel something kinda like chewing gum on the top and back, that's them, anything else, go to the doctor. That includes if they're swollen, tender, really itchy, oozing, or you're sexually active and need STI testing.

Testicles can get twisted, called torsion, maybe inflamed because of chlamydia and funky [sniff] due to jock itch, pubic lice, or poor hygiene. Care for your balls. You've got to wash with soap and water and talk to a medical provider about anything seemingly abnormal. I want your testicles, and the scrotum they're in to feel great.

Oh, and sometimes testicles do not descend from the abdomen before birth or at all. One or more undescended testicle is called cryptorchidism. It's also possible that descended testicles will retract into the abdomen. If you're concerned about it, ask a health pro.

Usually though, testicles are hanging down and they experience pleasure from an assortment of sensations: tickling, massaging, licking, tea bagging, which is putting all this in a partner's mouth, torture discussed here, drawing them away from the body to extend orgasm or cupping them closer to the body to expedite it, patting, pinching, kissing. The scrotum is from the same embryonic tissue as the labia majora, so similar strokes. Note all these feel goods are the same reason why groin shot leads to the feel really bads, no large muscles or fat or bone absorbing the hit, just nerves.

In the comments, please leave all your balltastic questions? Why do you have to turn your head and cough? Are blue balls real? Can you have more than two in a sack? Just a little exercise in staying curious.

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Ar, ar, ar.

Eat the balls.

Laa, la la la.