Good morning, John.

Some days... some days I just want to be a professional Internet cat critic.

"Laser wiggle cat lol", an early example of the "laser wiggle cat" genre, is a humorous romp through someone's living room. The large size, unique aspect ratio, and high frame rate of this image, magnificently captures this cat's feverish determination. But the artistry of this image is not truly apparent, until you examine the tail.

"Big butt cat stuck in box", let's be honest, is just a crude set up job by this cat's human companion. This person is clearly aware of the largeness of the butt, the smallness of the box, and the compulsiveness of this cat's desire to be inside any kind of box. While of course not truly abusive, I can't help but feel a twinge of guilt with every giggle.

Very similar to how I feel about the classical cat-sploitation image "Bread Face Cat" of 2009.

This is not, however, how I feel about the various cat leap fails, including the recent blockbuster, "Fwoop that's a beanbag." These instances are clearly the cat's decision, and whether or not there is a camera running at the time, the disaster that befalls them is their own doing.

Cats, of course, always emerge from these experiences unharmed, as they are, apparently, made of rubber.

Let's just be honest, sometimes that's what I want, a simple life, over-analyzing cats, and looking at cute things, and being slightly witty, and you know, doing things of questionable copyright legality. That would be a good job. But it would not be as good as my actual job. Though sometimes it can be really intense, especially when it comes to the VidCon planning times, which is starting to happen now.

90 days out, and this is when it starts to get hard. Corey Vidal and Alex Carpenter and the Apprentice A team are in town to film their vlogging documentary, "I'm Vlogging Here", which I'm very excited about, and it looks like it's going to be pretty freaking good.

And I realized, while talking to them, why being a professional cat critic would not in fact be my dream job. I like to do different things every week, and that it such a tremendous luxury.

And yes, John, you and I have some tried and true formats that we love and that we go back to, willingly and happily. But nerdfighteria, you never seem to expect anything in particular from us, except that we don't make terrible content. The mandate appears to be, "Make good stuff; we don't care what".

And that's the kind of constraint that I'm very happy to work inside of, and I don't think that a lot of creators get that kind of freedom. So I am very grateful. Thank you.

Also, cats, man. Freaking cute! I love those things! They're so cute! John, I honestly don't know how you live your life without a cat inside your house. It's like having a little living piece of art... that is also very warm, and soft.

Thanks to everyone who's been watching me Vlog Everyday in April on hankschannel, and, of course, thank you to all the people who gave to the Lizzie Bennet Kickstarter. The 5th top funded video project of all time; it was 4th this morning, but then Zach Braff decided to do a thing.

Thanks, Mr. Braff, for kicking us out of the Top Four. Love Scrubs! I really... like, literally like when I feel down, that's the show I watch. So I wouldn't have wanted to be replaced by anybody else; couldn't think of a better guy to give it to.

John, I'm happy to get to be The Master to your Doctor, and I'll see you on Tuesday.