Hey, guys.

And today, I want to talk about trendy purchases that you shouldn't do because they're not worth it and you'll regret it. And a big part of the reason why I want to do this video, right now especially, is because as we all reemerge into the world-- I am coming at you live with one Moderna shot in the bag.

A couple of weeks from now I'm going to be getting my second one. As we reemerge into society, vaxxed, waxed, taxed, and-- Listen, we all have been skimping on our beauty regimens. In all seriousness, we are reemerging into society.

It is going to be a hot girl summer, part two: the hottening. And not a white boy summer. Let's clear that up.

That was not cool. But suffice to say it's going to be a summer where people are so excited to be out and doing things. Every purchase is going to seem justifiable, from the experiences you've been missing out on, to the clothes that you want to wear while having those experiences.

It's all going to be one big case of the shoppies. And it's going to be so easy to justify a lot of these purchases with, well, I haven't been spending a lot of money in the past year, so why not go all out? And statistically it is true that people who did keep their employment ended up saving more in 2020 than they did in years prior.

But that is not a reason to just completely blow all of your hard work and go back into the red. So it's good that we start off with what might prove to be a very heavy spending season by talking about the trendy things that you'll end up regretting. Number one is popular jean styles that you feel terrible in.

Now this is an interesting day to be filming this because as I film this, I'm actually wearing a pair of jeans that is the cut of jeans that I think is just going to be the only kind of jeans I wear from now on. This is a picture of me full body that I took approximately two hours before filming this video. I am someone who is a little pear shaped.

I typically look terrible in things like skinny jeans, those fucking mom jeans that are, I swear to God, built to make anyone look bad. I don't know why those became popular again. They were famous in the 90s for making women look matronly, And like they were smuggling bags of fruit in their pants out of the grocery store.

It's just not a flattering look. The straight leg jeans, all of that stuff just does not look good on my body type. My body type looks good in a gentle flair, but preferably I like a Palazzo style.

A wider through the leg, tighter on the hip and the waist. And I have just decided that from now on, I'm going to buy the jeans that I like and not buy any other jeans no matter what Instagram/magazines are telling me everyone is wearing right now. I heard recently they were like, low rise jeans are back in again.

Over my dead, pear shaped body, they are. I am never wearing those things ever again. And I think it's important, especially for women obviously, that when it comes to the type of clothes that we wear, we make those decisions based on what we feel our best in, what we look our best in, and not what happens to be the trendy thing right now.

It is particularly difficult to find good flared jeans, especially in this very specific cut that I like. But I did find them. These are actually from Madewell.

And my plan is to get one of the jeans, leave it long, because I like to wear it with heels. And get another pair, probably in the same color, although maybe a slightly different wash and get them cut for flats. Because I would just rather have two of this pair of jean, than this jean and then a b-list jean that I feel like shit and every time I wear.

So all of that is to say I highly recommend that you yourself also embrace this. We've spent a year in sweatpants. We've spent a year in yoga pants.

We've spent a year not seeing anyone. It is not the right time to reemerge into society only to wear things that we never felt good in in the first place. You deserve to love every pair of jeans in your closet, or to not buy them at all.

Go forth in good jeans. Number two is Instagram cookware. What the hell is this?

I mean, what the hell is this? Why would anyone need a millennial, glossier pink cooking pan? Why is this something that you would want to spend your money on?

I'm a firm believer that when it comes to kitchen standards, things that tend to be on the more expensive side. Things like stainless steel cookware, baking tools, things that you might end up spending a pretty penny on. Your best bet is often to go to restaurant and kitchen supply wholesalers, outlets, places that have the really nice products at a highly discounted or wholesale price.

In New York City there's actually several of them. One really good one is in Chinatown. It's like a big restaurant supply store where you can find all of this higher end stuff that normally would be out of your price range, especially if you need to buy a full set.

But in general, when it comes to buying kitchen supplies, you want to buy things that will last. Both in terms of their overall quality, often they will come with lifetime guarantees for certain products, which I think is always worth opting for, but also in terms of aesthetics. Nothing is more of the moment, and it's honestly already over, that super faux childish, overgrown kid, girl boss, pink.

That is not of the moment. And it's certainly not going to be of the moment in five years. And a good pan you could keep for decades.

Do you really want to be in your 60s serving your grandchildren from your girl boss pink pan? I don't know, maybe you do, but I don't think you should. Also, these pans have really bad reviews.

So, take that. Number 3 is personalized vitamin blends. These are not FDA approved.

I'm sure you've seen advertisements for them all over the place if you're anything like me. And I guess the pitch here is that you fill out some info about yourself and then you get a bunch of vitamins sent to you that are tailored to your needs. But again, not FDA approved.

And more importantly, there are times in which people should be taking vitamin supplements. If they have specific deficiencies, which is something you can find out at the doctor if you specifically do tests to find out if you are experiencing deficiencies. And usually they will start by trying to correct that through your diet and other lifestyle choices.

But yes, occasionally sometimes you do need to supplement your diet with vitamins, and that can be helpful. But if you are eating a balanced diet and not currently experiencing deficiencies, vitamins are literally, they're just placebos. You just process them through your kidneys and get rid of them.

So in many cases even the regular-degular vitamins are a scam and a waste of money. But especially the goopyesque, glossier-esque. Why is every Instagram brand like this?

These vitamins look like the pan. What's going on here? Either way, not worth spending your money on.

Is it pronounced "glossy-ay?" You guys tell me. I am not giving them faux French credibility. Also can I just complain about glossier for a second?

Every glossier ad is the exact same thing. It's like a beautiful, very mysterious looking woman with absolutely perfect skin and bone structure and features, who literally dabs two things onto her face and then reveals herself to look exactly the same but with slightly thicker eyebrows or whatever. And we're all supposed to be like, wow what a transformation.

And it's like, that girl would have been hot doing nothing. Show me someone with actual problems and let's see what glossier does with them. That's like LaCroix is pronounced "luh-croy." And a lot of people are like "luh-craw." It's like no, it's LaCroix.

Number four is Instagram pop-ups. Things like the Rose mansion or the Museum of ice cream. Now listen, post COVID, I think we can all agree that experiential adult museums where you're supposed to be like fondling the stuff with a glass of alcohol in your hand and taking pictures is, just honest to God, a Petri dish.

That's so disgusting. People were always posting pictures of themselves during the heyday of the ice cream museum in that giant thing of sprinkles. You guys are going to get diseases that they thought were eradicated in the early 1900s.

Obviously post pandemic, we're not trying to do that. But also moreover, it's just really a reason to take the same five Instagram photos that everyone else takes. So hopefully these things will go by the wayside just with the passage of time.

But if they don't, never worth the money. No one wants to see you in that giant, disgusting pool of sprinkles. Number five is weird sleeved shirts.

Do we all remember 2017? You couldn't get a normal sleeve if you wanted to. And honest to God, I got so many crazy bell sleeves in 2017.

I had some that were like cold shoulder and bell sleeves. Although I wish I had kept one of the cold shoulder shirts for my vaccination. That would have been convenient.

But otherwise it was just chaotic sleeves, which are impossible to wear under blazers or sweaters or things like that. So they're very inconvenient. But they're also a hazard.

I actually set myself on fire accidentally during our New Year's Eve fondue party one year. So suffice to say, it's also, aside from being a bit of a danger, it's just very of the moment. I feel like the crazy sleeves.

And I don't know, I mean there's a little bit of sleeve happening here. And I got the buttons. I don't know, there's some stuff happening.

But it's clearly built to function as a blouse. It's not an architectural piece. And I do feel like, when you look at certain shirts you're like, that's 2017.

That's from the year of the weird shirt era. It's definitely of a moment. And I feel like it just doesn't age very well.

And I feel like, I can't speak for all, but most women probably have several weird shirts we bought in 2017 that we after a year got rid of. Don't ride the weird sleep train. It's a train to nowhere.

Number six is social media foods. I don't know what happened, but at a certain point Instagram Explore just became a bunch of people, basically a bunch of restaurants outdoing each other with these, it's like a pizza shaped like an ice cream cone filled with six pounds of cheese and toppings. Or like those disgusting milkshakes where they frost the entire outside of the milkshake.

They put the milkshake, sixteen candy canes and a slice of red velvet cake on top of it. Or, one of the most disgusting ones I ever saw, that I was like, what the fuck is even the point of this, was this hamburger that had a little ramekin on top of it that when you lifted it up it was just this giant fountain of cheese exploding over the-- And it's like, how do you even eat that? It's so gross.

It's so gross. And listen, sometimes when you go out to eat there are certain food items that you order and they're very Instagrammable. You get a plate of really beautiful French toast, or a really pretty hamburger sometimes.

But the food should fundamentally be about how good it tastes, and how easily/normally you can eat it. Which on a side note, I don't even think this is for Instagram purposes. At some point, we just decided to go vertical with our hamburgers.

Especially at the really fancy restaurants, I feel like I've gotten multiple burgers that are 8 inches tall and this wide. Impossible to eat. So sort that one out, restaurants.

But more generally, we don't want any of your Instagram food. It's gross. And it also feels wasteful.

A lot of times I see those Instagram videos and I'm like, I know that no one was eating this. So it seems like a bad thing for the environment and society as a whole, anyway. Ex-nay on the Instagram food ood-fay.

Number seven is very expensive paint. This is a life tip. Follow Farrow and Ball on Instagram.

Ogle all of their pictures, find the paint that you like, and then go to a less expensive paint store and get a dupe. If I were to have painted my hallway with the Farrow and Ball color that I liked, I would have spent approximately $400 on paint. And that's just not a way to live life, especially not in a rental.

I think that paint, especially now that it's become very popular on social media to have those weird painted arches on a wall and getting all, people are getting, going very rogue with their painting now. It's become very aspirational to have really fancy, nice paint. And you can almost always get a great dupe if you go to a decent paint shop.

There's a Benjamin Moore around the corner from me, they can match anything basically. And they'll work with you to tweak a paint color even if it's not perfect on the first go, and they'll make little samples. Do not spend money on fancy paint.

Number 8 is fancy planners, if you are not already an established journaler. You need to work your way up to an expensive planner. Start by getting just a basic spiral notebook.

See if you use it. See if you actually hold yourself accountable to writing in it. See if you actually get any benefit out of physically writing down various things about your life, whatever those things might be.

And eventually once you have established that you will actually use a journal to its intended purpose, you can perhaps justify getting a really fancy expensive one. If you jump headfirst into it thinking that buying the expensive planner is going to be a reason to become the sort of person who uses a planner, you are going to end up like many of us with basically a graveyard of unused or 5% used planners, which is the saddest thing of all. Because especially if they have a calendar in them, they're not evergreen.

What am I supposed to do with that 2019 Rifle paper company planner I got and then never opened. Number nine is $75 candles. They should be illegal.

That's my opinion. So occasionally I receive really fancy candles. But I have now taken to, if I even have a suspicion that people are getting me fancy candles, for a housewarming or whatever, I will go out of my way to tell them get a dupe.

Find a smell that you like and get a dupe. Because I cannot abide by people who have-- why would you spend so much money on something you literally burn. My max for a candle is $25, for a big one.

But my favorite is just to go to the TJMaxx/Homegoods and get all of those discount candles. Number 10 is prepackaged healthy snacks. Now listen, we all love Trader Joe's.

We all love going in there and during a complete fugue state and coming out with six months worth of snacks. And somehow you still feel like they're healthy because they have that Trader Joe's sheen on them, even though none of them are remotely healthy. But that's a once in a while treat, right.

We shouldn't be doing this all the time. And we moreover should realize that getting these healthy prepackaged snacks, really no matter what they are, are ultimately kind of a waste of money and not something that we should be regularly incorporating into our shopping. Nine times out of 10, when it comes to things like fancy snacks, you could easily get the same nutritional profile just by eating a small assortment of things that are otherwise much cheaper.

For example, instead of getting the fancy prepared bars that have nuts and seeds and all of that. You can just get the bulk nuts and seeds. You don't have to go out of your way to get all of these super processed things.

And yes, of course, on the go is helpful, but it takes all of 10 minutes to do little doggie bags for yourself that have a prepared snack mix for you to take. Also, let's be honest. With the vast majority of those healthy snacks, when you actually look at how they break down in terms of macro nutrition, they're often terrible for you.

Half of the protein bars in the market today are essentially Snickers bars with a little bit more protein. And that's delicious. I love a Snickers bar, and occasionally love to eat a protein bar.

But I'm not kidding myself. They're not particularly good for you, and they're also not worth the money. Number 11 is canned vodka sodas.

I truly knew that we were a society in decline at a bar and I saw someone order a White Claw. Order a vodka soda, what is wrong with you? And listen, occasionally yes, you're going to the beach you're going out on a boat, you need to bring some canned things with you.

Fine, fine, whatever. But I feel like canned vodka sodas have really infiltrated the society that people will-- they're on menus all the time now at various bars and restaurants. And people order them the same way people order a beer.

And for me it's like, OK but people order a beer because beer is a distinct beverage that you can't recreate with two ingredients that already exist in the bar. It makes no sense. And also, they're not very good.

I feel like it's always better to just get a normal vodka soda. You can even have them use a flavored vodka if you really want to. Listen, I'm 32.

I'm not above a Stoli blueberry and soda every now and again. It's delicious. Also, wait.

I also need to say about the canned vodka sodas. Someone on Twitter said this, and it's the truest thing I've ever heard. It was like, it is the roughest drunk you can possibly be.

They're less alcoholic than a beer in a lot of cases, and they're also slightly flavored with artificial flavoring. And plus, in a lot of the cases when you're drinking them, it's out in the sun for hours at a time. It's just absolutely gnarly.

No one should be drinking six cans of vodka and sweetener. It's disgusting. Number twelve is those dumb plastic visor masks that protect no one from anything, like these.

Anyone wearing those, they've already told you everything you need to know about themselves. They're dumb. Number 13 is It bags.

Listen, I'm not going to sit here and go off about the telfar bags because a lot of you seem to have a very special relationship with that bag. And frankly, I'm really scared of upsetting stands on the internet. And it seems like this bag has stands for some reason.

All I will say is that any time you're spending a lot of money on a bag that is extremely of the moment, you're almost guaranteeing yourself that you have a limited window in which you can use this bag before you look like a joke because you're wearing that bag that everyone had last year. And listen, I'm sure I've spent money on dumber things. But one thing I will say that has served me very well when it comes to accessories is buying bags and shoes especially that are essentially of no era.

They're just, they look normal now, they'll look normal 10 years from now, and they probably would have looked normal 10 years ago. Because the ideal thing when you're buying something like a leather bag is that it will last you for decades, if you take care of it. And yes, when it comes to it bags they do eventually come around.

Like that crazy saddlebag that Carrie was wearing in season five or whatever of Sex and the City is like now apparently a thing again. So OK, maybe 20 years from when you originally use the bag you could use it again as a vintage item. But that's not an investment strategy.

Number 14 is skincare/haircare that is especially formulated for your type. All of these startups that are promising to give you an online questionnaire and then respond with the right products for you, I feel like you would be much better off diverting that money toward one session with a dermatologist. Especially when it comes to skin care and getting an actual doctor up in here to take a look at things and tell you what's going on.

Because the thing is, for most people's needs, you can get what you need at a drugstore if you know what you're looking for. You don't need really expensive and fancy products. And a good dermatologist or a good aesthetician will be like, Oh don't waste your money on x, y and z.

You just need these things that you can get over the counter at a Duane Reade or what have you. But I feel like people have now gotten it in their head that buying anything from a drugstore is just inherently bad for some reason. And I think that's not the case.

I think you just need to know what you're looking for and realize that most of what these really expensive brands are often selling you boil down to a few ingredients that you can find in much less expensive dupes. Number 15 is finicky houseplants if you have not already demonstrated yourself to be a good plant mom. Now here's the thing, I understand that especially now that we've all been locked inside like Quasimodo for the last year, we've gotten way more into our plants.

And that's understandable, we have very few other friends these days. But it's important to remember that plants are ultimately things that you can easily kill. And you do not want to be spending a lot of money, which some of these plans can cost, if you are not absolutely sure that you can let that plant thrive and not essentially be flushing your money down the drain.

Case in point, when we were getting plants for the office I got a rubber tree that I was really excited about. Turns out rubber trees are a lot more picky than you would think they would be, and I proceeded to kill it within about a week. That was a waste of $75.

So whatever it might be for you, just know your limits when it comes to house plants and don't get too big for your britches. I'm good with a pothos. Those things, they can thrive under any conditions.

There's a couple other ones that-- look at that. Look at her go. Look at her go.

And she was $20 at my old grocery store, crazy. Learn your limits, and don't go chasing waterfalls when it comes to plants. Number 16 is expensive workout clothes.

You just don't need them. Go to Old Navy or whatever for your workout clothes. Also if you actually workout a bunch, your workout clothes are never going to last that long anyway.

So don't be throwing your money on them. Frickin' Lululemon. Number 17 is heels that look good in pictures but murder your feet.

Once we all get back out society, I'm actually sure that a lot of us are going to have a hard time wearing basically any shoes that aren't slip-ons at this point because of how used to not really wearing constricting clothing and accessories we all are. But it's important to remember that one thing we can all leave behind are shoes. And especially now I know that there's a ton of trendy shoes I see on Instagram that are 6 inch heels with one tiny strap at the bottom and one tiny strap at the top.

That stuff can go. We don't have to live this way anymore. Number 18 is pompous grass or any other home decor that sheds.

Listen, I have a dog that sheds. Not a ton, but she sheds right now, especially, because it's spring. It's the spring shed.

And that is difficult enough to take care of. You do not need to be bringing decor items into your home that also shed. That includes things like the aforementioned pompous grass.

That includes things like certain types of rugs and pillows and blankets. That includes essentially anything that is going to shed in any capacity, anything with glitter on it, God forbid. You do not need to be welcoming things into your home that are just an excuse for constant vacuuming.

Similarly, although it might be trendy on Instagram, you do not want to have open shelving all throughout your kitchen unless your life's aspiration is to spend the maximum amount of time possible dusting things. Number 19 is any product you see advertised under a viral tweet. You do not need a sunset lamp.

You do not need a penis pillow. You do not need that weird vibrator they're always talking about. You do not need the star projector.

You do not need that disgusting green tea mask that I can't stop getting to autoplay on my feed that shows people's paws being cleared out. You do not need anything that is being marketed under a viral tweet. Block, report, and move on with your life and your wallet intact.

Lastly, number 20, and this may be controversial, but any non-machine washable rug when you have a pet. Obviously home decor has boomed in the year of the pandemic, and therefore of nesting. But one thing that you have seen all over the place undoubtedly that does not need to enter your home unless you actually can take care of it properly is a cute rug.

Those pretty vintage rugs, those shag rugs, those rugs that make a room just look so special. If you have a pet, your pet is gross. And honestly maybe a cat less so because they don't really go outside.

But if you have a dog like I do, that dog goes outside and walks in all kinds of god knows what. Is getting into all sorts of disgusting stuff, is shedding, is just, animals are gross. They're animals for a-- they're gross.

And all that stuff is getting on your rug. And if you cannot properly wash your rug, and there are plenty of retailers now that do machine washable rugs, toss this bad boy up, throw them in the washing machine, your rug is disgusting. And I say that as someone who's had many disgusting rugs. and join buttons and to come back every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday for new and awesome videos.

Goodbye.