This episode of Do It Yourself Dildos is sponsored by Adam & Eve.com

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Dildos are objects shaped like human penises used for sexual pleasure. Throughout history, people have been making them from wood, ivory, and silver. In Siberia, they used reindeer calf muscles, and in Greece, it was leather. While the concept and craft aren't new, I have some new twists. Original dil-Does, if you will.

Dildos are often used to rub the clitoris externally, so they need to be body-friendly. If they're going to penetrate the mouth, vagina, or anus, the dildo also needs to have something firm to keep the shape of an erection. Shere Hite's 1970s report of sexuality found that the most common household item used for penetration was a candle. Here's a list of many other possibilities: pen, screwdriver handle, kitchen utensil, makeup brush, markers, hammer handle, lotion bottle, and flashlight. You probably also want something smooth that doesn't have sharp edges or a rough texture. For example, all of these incredibly phallic children's toys: bubble maker, H₂O blaster, different water device, and plastic bat are perfectly shaped, but they have seams in the plastic that could irritate your body or break the condom. Leave the ribs and waves for a unique sensation, but get rid of the seams with a nail file. Or by wrapping them in padding. Here's a list of many possibilities: washcloth, toilet paper, oven mitt, sponge, underwear, sock, toy stuffing, pillow, paper towel, breast cutlets, and plastic bags. Use hair bands, rubber bands, duct tape, packing tape, and/or thread to hold everything together, then cover your dildo in a body-safe layer or condom. I'll give you some combinations I like most.

Marker, washcloth, duct tape, cotton balls, band-aid, condom. Fold the washcloth in half, then use it to wrap up a marker or pen. Duct tape everything together in place, then add some cotton balls to the tip so it's not so blunt. Hold them on with a band-aid if that helps, then put a condom over it and play. If you want it to be wider, use more cloth. If you want it to be longer, add a second or third marker.

Wooden spoon, new sponges, rubber bands, cotton balls, condom. Fold a sponge or two around a wooden spoon or spatula and fasten them together with rubber bands. Pretty tape gives it a finished look, and half a plastic egg or ping pong ball on the end make a round glans. I made my tip with cotton balls and duct tape. Slip a condom over it, and voilà. You have a dildo that doubles as a paddle.

Lemon juicer, sock, headband, condom. Similar premise. The sock goes around the handle of the juicer as padding. The headband makes sure it doesn't fall off, and the condom covers everything so it's body-safe and ribbed.

Bubble maker, toilet paper, masking tape, inspirational quote, condom. This is the bubble maker from before. Rinse out the bubbles, then add a layer of toilet paper and masking tape so it feels more like skin. I wrote an inspirational quote on the tape for decoration which can be read through the condom as you're pleasuring yourself.

Hairbrush, oven mitt, ribbon, condom. Put the hairbrush handle into the thumb of the oven mitt. Using sharp scissors, cut around the shape of the brush, then sew it closed or use ribbon to fashion oven mitt bondage. Add a condom and you're ready for play.

My favorite: toothbrush holder, glow stick, bubble wrap, packing tape, condom. Crack the glow stick or lots of them so they light up. Put them inside the toothbrush holder. Cover it all in bubble wrap, bubbles facing outward if you want a fun texture. A few strips of packing tape at the top and bottom and your toy will be sexy see-through. Condom. Condom. Condom, condom. Sexy see-through. [dance music] Condom, sexy see-through. Condom, condom. Sexy see-through. Condom, condom.

There are also ways to make dildos from food. My guidelines are as follows: nothing that will break off and get stuck in your body, must be pesticide and preservative-free, and nothing that leaks. You want to make sure it won't do damage to your body if the condom on it breaks. Doables: carrots, cucumbers (peel on or off), squash, eggplants, corn on the cob (boiled if you want it to be softer and warmer). Dil-don'ts: popsicles, pickles, corndogs, fruit and peppers (some of them burn). And please don't use anything you want to serve your friends later unless they consent to sex toy stir-fry.

Another note: anything used for anal penetration in particular must have a strap or flared base so it doesn't get stuck in the rectum. Like this sweet dildo I've invented. Flip-flop, scissors, duct tape. Cut off the sides of the thong strap. Fold the sandal in half lengthwise, keep it that way with duct tape, then use a little strip of tape to loop the ends of the cut straps. The wide base and handle of this dildo make it ideal for anal. It's sturdy enough to direct into the body while still being flexible around your body's curves. And when you put a condom on it, it's easy to keep clean and reuse again later.

I'm proud of all of these. There's a special kind of payoff for making the thing you pleasure yourself with. That said, if you're not into crafting or you want something made by the pros, please go to adamandeve.com. They have hundreds of dildos to choose from like these two silicone beauties. You can suction them to chairs or walls, take them in the shower, put them in a harness for strap-on sex, or use them for safer sex demonstrations. This one is realistic, with a slight curve, veins, and scrotum. This one can be boiled or frozen for temperature play. When you use the promo code DOE, adamandeve.com will give you 50% off an eligible item and free shipping if you live in the US or Canada. Stay curious!

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