Craig: Come fail away, come fail away, come fail away with me! Sorry about that singing, but it's your punishment for failure. Ship, captain, airplane pilot, it's a similar kind of motif-y thing. They both op...operate large, um, vessels.

Airplane pilots are required to go beardless, but it's so that their oxygen masks can make a better seal to their face in the event of an emergency. It has nothing to do with how they look, which, in my opinion, is baby-faced and less awesome. You may have a different opinion. You may be wrong. Can opinions be wrong? Yes, in my opinion.

Clone 1: Let's move on.

Clone 2: to

Clone 3: round three!

Clone 2: Which one of you isn't wearing deodorant? Oh, that's right. You're all me.

Craig: Fact one: Alexander the Great was the first to order his troops to be clean-shaven because he wanted to decrease the amount of head lice among his men.

Or: The term "sideburns" is a 19th century corruption of the word "burnsides" after the...after who? Named after American Civil War general Ambrose Burnside. Yeah. Did that in one take.

All right, time to make your decizh. That's street talk for decision. Cuz, when you're outside on the street, you don't have time for full words. You're too busy avoiding getting hit by vehics. Or getting muh: mugged. clears his throat Are you done yet? Are you still...still, uh, deciding? This would not take this long on the street. You would definitely be plowed by a vehic by now.