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Duration:08:20
Uploaded:2015-09-30
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Hi all! We're on a hiatus from the GTA series, so this is the final eight minutes from the last time we recorded. You'll know it was a while ago when you hear John reference Pitch Perfect 2… Sorry it's such a short video! But, I didn't want you to miss out on the end of the paparazzi saga. -Meredith
John: Why would I get on Beverly's motorcycle!? Oh.

Beverly: Go, go! Get us right up alongside that limo! For Christ's sake!

J: Ugh, Franklin. What the frick is wrong with you? Seriously, what is wrong with Franklin? The most unrealistic thing about this game is that Franklin is a completely likeable person in every respect except for his terrible, terrible decisions around who he hangs out with. And, like, there's not even, like, a reason given for it. He's like an Iago level villain who is completely...

B: Come on! Come on, come on! You ruined Mark Fostenburg's wife's life!

J: What? Who's Mark Faustenburg?

B: She's slamming a speed-ball in there, man! This is journalistic gold!

J: This is not journalistic gold, this has nothing to do with journalism.

B: And again! I will not stop until I have vagina!

J: The study... Oh God, he's a terrible person.

B: She's a goddess.

J: Franklin, I know that we have to...

B: Man, they don't call her the Silicone Slattern for nothing.

J: Oh Franklin, I know that we have to finish this mission but after we do I'm afraid that we're going to hurt this man. It's not going to give me any pleasure, I don't believe in violence against people but I am going to have to... Well, if not hurt him at least find a way to make sure that his life is miserable. You know what...

Madison: **** you Beverly, this one's mine!

J: Oh, he's got a different paparazzi photographer.

B: No, no, no! It's that bottom-feeder Madison!

J: Oh yeah, he's a bottom-feeder. I hate all of you! Is that what this game is designed to do is just, like, bring out outrage? Is it like a, is it like an extension of outrage culture?

B: Stay on that bastard!

J: Oh. Stop the rival paparazzo. OK, that actually doesn't bother me.

B: Whatever you do, do not lose them!

J: OK, I won't.

Franklin: ****, man, I know! I'm trying!

J: Yeah, I am trying. Nobody ever gives Franklin any credit for trying. Yeah, you don't get to be... Oh! Everything worked out better than expected!

B: You idiot!

J: No! It was perfect! I could not have made a better decision! Yes! Celebration! Now get on Beverly's motorcycle by yourself, Franklin. Not the paparazzo, hurt him. Yes. Yes! Yes! Oh! I love the way this worked out! Hooray! "I did it, I did it, I did it, I finished a mission, a mission, a mission." Succeeded! Well, suck it. I think that I succeeded. I feel great about how I played that mission. I am sure that I do not want to play it again. I don't care. I would like to not play that anymore. Yay!

And I have a new motorcycle! Lucky Franklin! Way to go Franklin! Everything worked out really well! Franklin and friends! Oh, wasn't that fun, Meredith? I would do that again in a second. My favorite part was where the two horrible paparazzos, or I guess paparazzi, were both involved in a motorcycle accident and went flying and then tried to grab on to the back of my motorcycle and I was like "No, sir! None for you! Find a different line of work!"

Woohoo! What is this place? Nope. I just want to go to a movie, Meredith. You know what I mean? There's the movie theater. Hey guys, it's me, Franklin. Can I go to the movies? Oh, hey.

Woman: I should be doing period dramas, not this reality show ****.

J: Oh, hi. It's me, Franklin. Ah, boy. Guys. Isn't that the movie theater? Do I have to go through the, through the doors maybe? Hey guys, it's me, Franklin. Oh yeah, I want to just go to the movies.

Oh. Thank God it's over. What are they gonna show? Avengers: Age of UltronPitch Perfect 2? Oh, is this gonna be just, like, a nice foreign film? Oh great. I love this stuff! It's perfect for me. Oh, the ocean. There's a clock tower. Everything is calm. We're OK. Man with a mustache, possibly Stalin. Time passes. There's a donkey. Donkey is falling. Time has passed some more. Now the donkey will rise. Yeah. Oh, this is good stuff, don't you think? It's a little bit of an art film but I still like it.

(In foreign language) I was not asleep. I was dreaming, but I was awake.

J: Oh, I've been there. Where you're dreaming but you're awake. That's how I feel when I play video games. Oh, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It reminds me of when I went to the beach and went to the carnival, you remember that Meredith? Just went to the... Beautiful. We went to that, we just got to see the water rolling in and rolling out. And now when they're climbing a ladder, that reminds me of how good that Franklin is... (Sneezes)

Sorry, I got so emotional I sneezed. It just reminds me of how good Franklin is at climbing and he's good at swimming. Remember him swimming in the canal? He was so good at swimming. This is a great movie. They're trying to get me to stop watching it but I refuse. I'm enjoying every second of this art film. Oh. They're trying desperately to get me to stop watching but I refuse. I am going to get my $20 worth out of this art movie.

Oh boy, let's look around, let's just see what else is going around here. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh. That's not how the human eye works. Let's see. What's up? Oh. Yeah.

(In foreign language) ...the breathless extent of your dream life is a burden too many on the prosaic reality of our day to day physical reality.

J: Your dream life is a burden on the prosaic reality. Ugh, it's just... I know that they're trying to make fun of art movies but it would be a much, it'd be much better at making fun of art movies if they were, like, funny instead of just relying on these, like, really obvious demeaning tropes.

Ah! Yeah, I'm tired of this. I exit. They did it, Meredith. They broke me. I don't know how long that might have lasted, maybe forever. But they broke me. Good job movie Grand Theft Auto, you made me hate movies.

Man: ********

J: I'm so... Listen. Sir, sir... Where did he go? Where did he go? Was he a zombie? Was he an apparition? Anyway, I'm gonna get back on the movies... I'm gonna get back on the paparazzi's motorcycle that I don't even feel bad about having stolen and I'm going to pursue other means of finding pleasure in life. It can't all be movies. There's also golf! Are you excited, Meredith? Are you excited to go play some golf!? Meredith says I literally am not allowed to play golf and that no-one will watch the show anymore. Alright. Well, then I'm just going to go as fast as I can and big jump.

Oh, that, that did hurt. That stung. Yeah, just shake it off. (Laughs) That's just like real life! Just shake it off and you're good, you're good. Yeah, yeah, we made an error. I was just trying... I thought that was gonna be a jump. Hi guys, it's me, Franklin. I don't know how many times I have to tell them that I don't like the radio. Great job.

I'd like to know where Franklin gets his amazing helmet collection. Is it inside of his body? Does he poop out a new helmet each time he gets on a motorcycle? Nobody knows for sure. But it's wonderful. Should I talk to another freak and/or geek, Meredith? Alright, we'll do that next time here on hankgames without Hank where Franklin continues to navigate a world that he desperately wants to fit in to, so much so that he is willing to make terrible, terrible, terrible friendships.