Crowd: Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday!

John: So before meeting a lot of Nerdfighters last night, in single "n" double "n" single "t" Cincinnati, I was here, in the Miami whitewater forest, where the Autumn leaves are falling and the squirrels are appropriately afraid of humans, and while walking alone through the forest, I thought to myself, I don't really wanna make a thoughts from places video today while I'm here, I just wanna go on a freaking walk without videotaping every single thing I do.

So it's Question Tuesday, the day I answer real questions from real nerdfighters, let's get right to it!

What are you going to be for Halloween?
I'm gonna be a 35 year old man.

Why is legislation to kill the penny being held up in Congress?
Because if the current Congress were actually and physically on fire, they couldn't pass a Throw Water on Congress Act.

Who is your OTP?
Peanut butter and honey, their OTP name is Peab-oney (Pronunciation: Pea-bunny).

What does the raven symbolize in that Edgar Allen Poe poem?
Death. A good rule of thumb is that if you see something that looks like it might be a symbol in a work by Edgar Allen Poe, it's death.

What's something you've always wanted to microwave?
Oh, peeps! Hot plate, disgusting, somewhat burnt, microwaved peeps. To go with my lunch of apples.

Pancakes, or pancakes?
Pancakes! I mean, I realize this is stating the obvious, but they are cakes that you can cook in a pan! It's an everyday miracle!

Would you rearrange the alphabet if you could?
Yeah, totally, I'd be so much better at alphabetizing if instead of having to sing the ABC song every freaking time, I could just say Big Fjords Vex Quick Waltz Nymph. Sure, we'd then have two a's, but we need two a's!

Best book I've never heard of?
The Blood of the Lamb by Peter de Vries which inspired large parts of An Imperial Affliction by Peter van Houten.

Can you draw a platypus?
Yes. Yes, I can.

When is that box set thing coming out?
That box set thing comes out on October 25th and there's a limited edition that have both The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska signed, link in the doobly-doo.

Did you ever feel slightly attracted to Augustus Waters while writing The Fault in Our Stars?
No! A little bit.

Why does the number pi never end?
I don't know, it's totally irrational.

Velociraptor or Brontosaurus?
I don't know, let's go call an expert. Hey, Henry, do you like brontosaurus or velociraptor better?

Henry: Velociraptor!
John: You like velociraptors better?
Henry: Yeah!
John: Velociraptors.

In what situation is it appropriate to use the acronym YOLO?
Really in any situation where you're acting out of an abundance of caution, for instance, "I think I'll obey the speed limit today, YOLO" or "I'm gonna pass up this opportunity to go skydiving because YOLO".

Do you think you'd jump from space?
No, I wouldn't jump from table.

Favorite statue?
This guy.

Least favorite statue?
This guy.

Favorite president?
James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump

Did Barack Obama's tumblr really post Hank's voting video?
No! Wait, really? Really? Hank, you are on the president's tumblr! Also, the president has a tumblr.

Why don't any of the main characters in your books have siblings?
Ahh, it's just my little way of telling Hank that he doesn't exist in my narrative imagination.

Wait, who the eff is Hank?
Hank is an American folk rock band originally formed in Claremont, California.

Hey, what's your favorite part of Atlas Shrugged?
(shakes head) No.

Hey, what have you learned from teaching world history for a year?
I've learned that humans generally get less miserable when we collaborate and that we get totally hosed when we choose ideology over actual humans.

Hey, when will your next book come out?
I don't know, 2014, 2015? It's gonna be a while.

Gandalf or Dumbledore?
I'm hiding under the table so you people can't attack me, but Gandalf.

Favorite period of history?
Wait for it... the Mongols.
(Mongols clip)

All time five favorite John Greens?
Alright, in order, Bald John Green, Other John Green, the political science professor, the mustachioed cavalry officer, and the Bigfoot researcher known as one of the four horsemen of Sasquatchery.

Will this be the last question?
Indeed it will.

Nerdfighters, thank you for all your great questions; Hank, thank you for your brilliant video last week, I will see you on Friday.