John: Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday. Back in 2008, you and Katherine and I went on what we called the Great American Tour de Nerdfighting.

John (in archival footage): And so it begins - the Great American Tour de Nerdfighting 2008, featuring Hank, John, the Katherine, and the minivan!

John: We drove around the country for a month in a minivan. You sold CDs. I sold copies of Paper Towns. It was exhausting but also really exhilarating, because, while I'd been an author for a while by then, I'd never had more than five or six people at any of my signings.

Like, the truth is, for me, signings were pretty brutal affairs. In fact, at my first ever book signing in Chicago in 2005 for Looking for Alaska, I showed up at the bookstore, and there were two people there, one of whom was my boss but pretended to be a stranger so that it wouldn't be quite as embarrassing. I then proceeded to read an excerpt from Looking for Alaska that included the sentence, "The only thing worse than having a party no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people," thereby managing to offend the two kind people who came to my book party.

So, in 2008, to be in rooms with people singing and laughing and reading was just magic. And the truth is, Hank, it's still magic. Like, it's remarkable what you can get accustomed to, but I, for one, simply can't get accustomed to Nerdfighteria existing, however briefly, in real life.

And I think because I had those early years where no one -- or two people, if I was lucky -- came to my book signings, I just feel overwhelmed with gratitude to anyone who would attend any kind of book event. Like, obviously, I want you to come to mine, but also I want you to go to other people's. It means that they care about your work, but maybe more importantly, it also means that they want to be in real life with other people who care about your work, because two of the coolest things art can do is one, inspire more art, and two, lead to deep, lasting connections.

All of which is to say that I am going on tour for Hollywood Ending. The tour starts on September 20th in Toronto. If you live in Toronto, you get the book two days early, actually, because it doesn't come out until September 22nd. And then it ends October 13th in Los Angeles, which is appropriate for a bunch of reasons that I can't get into because it would be spoilers.

There are links to tickets in the doobly-doo. I am sorry they are not free, but renting out these spaces is expensive, and bookstores have to take on that cost.

Okay, so we begin in Toronto on September 20th. I haven't visited Canada in almost 15 years, at least in a professional capacity, and I'm very excited to do so. Then, on September 22nd, the actual day the book comes out, I'll be in New York City. No tickets are available for that one yet, but they will be soon.

On the 23rd, I'll be in Birmingham, Alabama, returning to my high school roots, and then DC on the 24th and Winston-Salem, North Carolina on the 25th. I've never been to Winston-Salem, North Carolina, like, either in a professional or a personal capacity. Then I go to Portland, Maine and then Pittsburgh, where much of Hollywood Ending is set.

Then, it's Gainesville, Florida, Nashville, Madison, Wisconsin, and then to Indianapolis for a hometown show on October 2nd. And then, October 3rd, I'm taking the day off, because it is Sarah's birthday. Then, it's on to Chicago and St. Paul, Minnesota and Kansas City and Tulsa, Oklahoma, another city I have never visited. Sarah was in Tulsa for work a couple weeks ago, and she was like, "You have to visit. This place is amazing." So I am. I am going to visit.

Then, it's Tuscon, Boise, Salt Lake City, San Diego, and, finally, Los Angeles. Light work, as the kids say. So, Hank, you can no longer travel with me in a minivan for a month, which is a real bummer, but on the upside, you are a parent now, and you've got a lot of stuff going on. You've got so much stuff going on.

The other day, Hank was like, "Oh, I invented a word game that I need you to edit. It's called Smush." And I was like, "Hank Green, you -- and I say this with a lot of love -- need to stop."

Anyway, Hank, you will be coming to one event, maybe two, which I really appreciate. I'm gonna be in conversation with great friends and authors from around the country. It's gonna be super fun. There will be bits; don't worry, there will still be bits. I may be old, but I'm still in the bit business.

And I should say, I'm sorry I'm not travelling to more places, especially outside the US and Canada. I wish I could, but right now, you know, you have to strike a balance between family and work, and I try to strike that, when possible, on the side of family.

Alright, Hank, I have to get back to signing these 85,000 copies of Hollywood Ending, but I will see you on tour, and first, I will see you on Friday.