Good morning John,

Hank: Here in America it is the day after thanksgiving which means that it is black Fri-

Hank as Twitter: Hey Hank, it’s Twitter, it’s Twitter: I have a question.

Hank: What?

Hank as Twitter: What’s your most controversial opinion? 

Hank: Oh come on Twitter, why would I tell you that?

Hank as Twitter: Content man, it’s content. It’s easy format to put your own personal spin on without having to come up with something fresh.

Hank Yeah, no, yeah that makes sense. But look, my most controversial opinions are pretty controversial and they’re also, like, nuanced and take a long time to explain and for example-

Hank as Twitter: No, God. You make everything so complicated. You’re just supposed to say something dumb that everybody’s going to be mad about like ‘Indian food is bad and everyone knows it’.

Hank: Why would anyone say that? Like, even if I don’t like Indian food, I recognise that some people must, right. Whats the point?

Hank as Twitter: To make people mad.

Hank: Yeah, you’re right. 

Hank as Twitter: It’s engaging. I’m leading you to the water here but I can’t make you drink; you just have to come up with something dumb that 80- 90% of people are gonna despise but then 10- 20% of people will be on your side and they will have your back and that’s gonna keep the conversation going.

Hank: Oh my God, like, this seems complicated.

Hank as Twitter: No one said anyone of this is easy- baby, your job is to make it look easy.

Hank: Well, actually, I think it is.

Hank as Twitter: What?

Hank: It’s easy. Butt is legs.

Hank as Twitter: What? [says in confusion]

Hank: Butt is legs.

Hank as Twitter: That’s ludacris- butt is butt.

Hank: Butt is butt but butt is also legs.

Hank as Twitter: Butt is butt.

Hank: Butt is legs.

Hank as Twitter: That’s [pauses momentarily], I mean, the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Hank: Lok, your leg bone is in your butt.

Hank as Twitter: But you only have one but.

Hank: I know! That’s what makes this such an interesting sentence: it’s grammatically confusing because you have a singular butt but plural legs but this isn’t a grammatical question, it’s an anatomical one and butt is legs.

Hank as Twitter: But, scientifically, anatomically your gut is in your torso and your gut ends in your butthole which is your butt so butt is torso. Right?

Hank: Butthole is not legs, the butthole is not butt.

Hank as Twitter: The butthole is not butt‽ It’s in the name!

Hank: No, the butt transitions to butthole just as hand is not arm, arm transitions into hand.

Hank as Twitter: Okay. So hand is not arm. Then shoulder is not arm. Then butt is not legs.

Hank: Shoulder is arm.

Hank as Twitter: Don’t say it.

Hank: And butt is legs.

Hank as Twitter: [Annoyed] Oh, God, okay. Look, I can’t tell you why but you are obviously wrong.

Hank: [Shouting] You told me to have a controversial opinion, why are you yelling at me for having one?

Hank as Twitter: Oh my God, I did didn’t I. Like I had legitimate- I had forgotten. Good work.

Hank: Twitter, this is the world that we have chosen for ourselves.

Hank as Twitter: You got any others?

Hank: Alright, second controversial opinion- Black Friday is dope.

My first book, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, was picked as a black Friday deal by Audible in the United Kingdom so this weekend, in the UK, it’s only £3.

Also, I have a book coming out: July 17 2020, A Beautifully Foolish Endeavour. I can’t believe I did it but I did it and lots of links to pre-order that and also get a quick synopsis in the description. I’ll be talking more about it soon.

And, right now through Monday, there’s free shipping everywhere in the world for all orders over $50 at DFTBA.com. We have lots of amazing new black Friday products: I’m wearing many of our pins that are coming out right now including the Stentor coeruleus pin from Journey to the Microcosmos . And also, because we did a Pizza John bandanna this year, we are also doing a Hank- erchief. Look, I don’t expect to sell a lot of them but we had to make the joke.

So, go to DFTBA.com now.

Hak as Twitter: Was this entire video a set up for a black Friday promotion?

Controversial opinion.

Hank as Twitter: Yeah man.

Hank: Butt is legs.

Hank as Twitter: God!

John, I’ll see you on Tuesday