Hello. Hello, Hello, Hello. 
It's the last day of Pizzamas. I'm doing a livestream here on the last day of pizzamas. The-the-the sun is shining from above me its not actually the sun. I don't know how to make that go away. 
Alice, can you make that light turn off. just that one light
Alice: um
John: just that one that one is the- I think that which one's the one that... that one
Alice: Uh...
J: it's this one Alice. Its this one right here.
A: I know
J: this little one. Um hey so we're in the United Kingdom- That wasn't good you didn't do it. no well that worked. Do that again. 
Great.  We're in the United Kingdom. Hello greetings everyone um its the last day of pizzamas. If you want pizza stuff at pizzamas.com that is literally only possible for a few more hours. 
I'm sorry I have to be quiet but my wife is sleeping. 
Alice can you turn on some lights? It's really dark in here I'm sorry but it is really dark. Don't get up, don't get up, don't get up. Henry do get up. I disagree. Yeah. So my wife is sleeping. Can you turn on some lights, Henry? Turn on the master light for me? There you go. Hey, can you turn off this light? Is there any way you can turn off this particular light.
A: No. Henry-- Henry stop that
J: Don't make it weird.
A: Just--
J: Don't make it weird
A: Just turn the lights off, I have an idea
J: That's great. That's actually-- Really good job everybody. Wow. You know what, teamwork makes the dream work. I dunno-- (thud) Oh, are you ok? 
H: Yeah. I'm good
J: Alright. Teamwork-- look how much better that is. I look like a normal human being. Um, hey. So it's the last day you can buy stuff from pizzamas.com. pizzamas.com pizzamas.com. You know what I'm gonna do, because I'm a marketing genius? I'm gonna put in pizzamas.com in the chat. And then, because I'm an extra super marketing genius, I'm like the rare marketing genius whose like marketing genius is multifaceted, ba-ga-boom! Look, it's a pinned comment. pizzamas.com pizzamas.com pizzamas.com. 
Couple incredible updates about pizzamas. I think the biggest incredible update is that somehow, some way, against all odds, we are four Chizza Johns-- the uh, Chia pet like version of me that's also a terracotta planter-- we're only four away from being sold old, y'all. We only have four left to sell, they're $29, they're the steal of pizzamas. Other than that, we're sold out of almost everything. We sold out of the blanket, we sold out of the bath bomb, we sold out of the mug, we sold out of the over mitt! Which, we sold out of the holiday sweater, we sold out of the earrings! We sold out of everything, we sold out of the rug, for god's sakes. The only literally the only thing we haven't sold out of is the neon sign. Which is I understand. Why would anyone-- Alice, can you come here and give me your neon sign real quick? Because you actually, you've actually acquired the neon sign at pizzamas.com. Admittedly didn't pay for it. But, your review?

A: It is so great. It hurts my eyes. 

J: Alice, that's-- (laughs) Alice, do you know nothing about marketing. 

A: It is SO GOOD! It's awesome! 

J: Thank you. Jesus Christ. Wow. What a terrible example of advertising. Um..

A: (inaudible)

J: It is really bright, but it's also really good, right Alice? 

A: Mm-hm

J: If you want a neon sign--

A: It's awesome

J: There you go. If you want a neon sign that says Pizza John's, you literally won't find a better one. Certainly not for the price. pizzamas.com where you can get one of the last four pizza John terracotta planters, um. Ope, one of the last two now, there's only two left, I wanna be here for that final moment. That's what I'm excited about, thanks to Jonathan and Austin and Sasha and Taylor and William and Erin and Amanda, who all got stuff in the last few minutes. It's the last day of pizzamas! Alice, you and I have to go online at pizzamas.com and get the Barbie thing! The Barbie cowgirl Pizza John? We can't let that one go, and that one didn't even-- we didn't get one of those. They didn't send us one, because it didn't exist at the beginning of pizzamas. It was a pizzamas miracle, like so many things. So, we gotta be sure that we got OUR end of pizzamas stuff, in addition to you getting YOUR end of pizzamas stuff. But this is it, man, after tomorrow, after today, sorry, after today, everything at pizzamas.com disappears forever. All these amazing pizzamas shirts, the drawfee collab, the eras shirt, the amazing one where teamwork makes the dream work, where four of us are holding up a pizza John piece of pizza, which, by the way, might end up being the most successful single pizza John shirt in the history of pizzamas. Um, so that's pretty special. The postage stamp one, the pizza John's pizzeria shirt, which is solid gold. The pizza John origin shirt, which is also solid gold. All of this is available only until the end of pizzamas. We've only got a few hours left, sop now's the time. If you've thought about pizzamas-- now, obviously do not spend money you do not have on pizzamas. Pizzamas is by definition a luxury, it is literally the definition of luxury. Henry, is pizzamas a necessity? 

Henry: No.

J: Correct. It is not a necessity, it is the definition of luxury. Um. But there has never been a better time, because this is the only time. This is the only time. I also love the teamwork shirt, I'm gonna get one for each member of my family, and then we're gonna wear it for our holiday pictures. 

H: With the pupper? 

J: With the-- shhhhh they don't know! Good god! 

H: I'm sorry

J: Massive breaking news from the livestream that now I have to delete after it's over. But yes, with the pupper. 

H: Yay!!!

J: Should we put the puppy in a pizzamas shirt? 

H: Probably too big

J: Everyone's saying 'what? Big reveal.' Henry, you know how to slow roll or fast roll a reveal. 

H: Yeah

J: Um. Yeah, we might be getting a dog. No promises. 

H: Yeah. Maybe

J: Um, we might be putting it in a pizzamas shirt. But what's the point of putting it in a pizzamas shirt if we can't sell stuff at pizzamas.com to benefit tuberculosis research and treatment? And diagnostics. 

H: Has this been the most successful pizzamas so far? 

J: Thanks for asking, Henry. It has been the most successful pizzamas of all time. Let me rank the pizzamas's by all-time rank. So we've got the most successful pizzamas of all time until recently was 2021. We figured it would definitionally be the permanent most successful selling pizzamas because like, the economy had recovered from the panic of COVID, but at the same time, people ahd a little extra money in their pockets because of some stimulus. And then 2022, we were like, that's more like a regular pizzamas. Back to regular pizzamas stuff. But 2023 is gonna be the most successful pizzamas of all time by a fairly wide margin, actually. It's gonna be the first pizzamas that um, sold over a $1M of goods and services. Mostly goods. And it's uh, yeah it's the best pizzamas -- we don't know what the pizzamas-- what the puppy's gonna be called. It was a hot topic of debate. 

H: (yells off screen) (thuds)

J: Let's not discuss it on stream. Please. Let's not discuss it on stream please! Um, what is pizzamas, thank you for asking, Max. Max. Max, what is pizzamas? Pizzamas is something that lives in our hearts like Christmas and Thanksgiving and other holidays. In that we make real through collective belief. Pizzamas is a two week celebration of all things pizza, nerdfighteria, and e-commerce. The three great tent poles of contemporary human experience. So that's um. That's what pizzamas is. Pizzamas is a two-week period every year where Hank and I make videos back and forth every day just like it was 2007 all over again. But with the added benefit of selling weird stuff at pizzamas.com to benefit charity. Of course we do not keep any of our pizzamas royalties, that would be despicable. I mean, you can't keep pizzamas royalties. Right? Like this is too weird of a thing to benefit Hank or me. So it benefits independent artists, it benefits the hardworking folks at DFTBA.com, but it does not benefit Hank or I, all the money that we would make goes to charity. This year, to support better treatment diagnostics and research into tuberculosis, the world's leading cause of infectious disease 

A: (sneezes) 

J:... death and disability. Good sneeze, Alice. Bless you. 

A: Thank you? 

J: That was a really good sneeze. High quality. So it's the end of pizzamas, we've learned so much. We've had so many pizzamas adventures. We've been to the United Nations, and then after going to the United Nations, we learned what the United Nations was, we've learned that Hank is not retiring, but is quitting from several of his jobs. We've learned that, um, what else have we learned from Pizzamas? We've uh... I can't even remember what pizzamas videos I made. I have no memory of pizzamas. All I know is that it's been magical. It's been a wonderful experience all around. I would give it a 12/10. Hank texted me today and said, "Pizzamas is fun." And I was like, that's true, but pizzamas is also hard. It's both. It's both hard and fun. But it has been a blast. Henry, what'd you just eat? 

H: Chocolate.

J: Okay. I appreciate your one-word answer. Uh, don't use that bed too much, because that's my tripod. That's actually my tripod. 

H: Oh.

J: That's my tripod. There you are. How's it going? 

H: Good

J: So what'd we do tonight? 

H: Sleep

J: What'd we do earlier this evening?

H: ABBA

J: We saw ABBA

(Alice singing off screen)

J: We went to ABBA Voyage, which was interesting and it made me want to write another episode of the Anthropocene Reviewed, for the first time in a long time. Because it was such an intense, profound experience. And I don't know -- I don't know what to make of it. It was awesome. But it was also intense, because we were looking at holographs of human beings that felt ... I think everybody knows that -- okay, we're not allowed to reveal the secrets of ABBA Voyage, but it was a really intense experience. Um, who is that man that's sat with John? 

That's my son. This is, this is my boy. This is my little tiny baby boy. He's just-- he's a newborn baby. He's just getting started in the world. I love you, buddy. 

H: You too. 

J: Um, what would you give it Alice, five stars? four stars? 

A: One million

J: One million stars? That's bold. I never-- I didn't even give the best thing in the world five stars. Like, not even parenthood.

A: Oh, what?

J: Which is not even like, being your dad was over 5 stars. You can't go over 5 stars, that breaks the whole system. 

H: You just said something was a 12/10. 

A: Mm-hm

J: Oh... pizzamas? Yeah, well. Actually you can rate things on a 10 point scale above 10 points, but not on a five star scale above five stars. Everybody knows that. pizzamas.com. The pinned comment is where you go to get your pizzamas stuff. pizzamas is about to end. It's about to be a tragic ending. Um. It's gonna be-- it's-- the thing about pizzamas is that everything at pizzamas.com, which is a huge variety of ridiculous stuff, is gonna disappear forever at the end of pizzamas. And so we're only a few minutes away from everything at pizzamas.com disappearing for literally ever. You won't be able to get these amazing shirts ever again. But Henry, is it a luxury? 

H: No

J: Yes.

H: Oh yeah, yes then. 

J: It is definitely a luxury. So don't -- don't buy anything you can't afford to buy, right? 

H: I forgot what luxury meant

J: Oh yeah, luxury is like uh something you don't need

H: Well yeah, but it's -- yeah

J: It's a bit of a thneed, if you will. 

H: Oh

J: Did I say that right, Alice? 

A: Thneed

J: Thneed? Okay. Bit of a thneed. It's in the category of a thneed. So thank you to Liam and Gabrielle and Adam and Ryan, Kay, and Henry! One of your fellow Henry's just bought something at pizzamas.com. You wanna know what he bought? He bought the "He's just John" shirt. The Barbie cowgirl-- you've seen that right Henry? 

H: Ah.. I think so

J: Here let me show it to you. Are you ready? No that's the back end. Not gonna be as exciting for you. Look, that's what I see when I'm looking at Pizzamas sales. That's not what the people see when they look at pizzamas.com. THIS is what the people see. So this is the Barbie shirt. 

A: Let me see

J: Yeah. Isn't that amazing? Comes in-- Well, Alice, which one do you want? Black or pink?

A: PINK

J: Ooh! What do you want Henry, black or pink? 

H: I'll take black.

J: Do you want neither? 

H: Kinda

J: Yeah, I know. But don't you like this shirt? I thought this shirt would be great for you. This is a cool pizzamas shirt. The teamwork pizza John shirt? 

H: Yeah I like that one

J: Yeah, I figured I'd get that one for you and get the Barbie one for Alice, and then we'd call it a day. 

H: Actually the Barbie movie was pretty good, I'll get the --

J: You want the-- you want a black one of the Barbie one? What about the-- what about the -- 

A: The Barbie movie wasn't just pretty good 

J: The Barbie movie wasn't just pretty good, it was really good. What about the Pizza John tour shirt? Where it's me in all of my eras? 

A: Ooh, I need that 

J: My childhood era, my pizza era

H: Sure. 

A: I need that. No, no! 

J: I'm giving you mine. I'm giving you mine. I'm giving you mine. 

H: I'll take it.

J: So you can have mine. Cause you're big enough now that you can just like wear my stuff. Don't forget, Alice, these earrings. Well. About that. It never occurred to me that we would actually sell out of the earrings, Alice.

A: No, I thought we had some.

J: We do have some, great point. I'll just give you those. Cause they give me some for pizzamas. That's true. And I don't pay for those, so in a way I do get paid for pizzamas. But I get paid in pizzamas stuff. 

Um, Keanna and GemJuice both got things at pizzamas.com, as did Alexander and Roseanna, and Heather and Christian. You know what Vernadette got, Henry? 

H: Hm

J: A-- 4 pm, which is-- I have no idea what time that is our time. She got the pizza John oranges shirt. She lives in Oregon. Um, and like any good order-er, she uses a fake email address for orders. Smart. EU Pizzamas please! Yes, so we do ship to the European Union, but sometimes you have to pay a little bit of uh hullabaloo. You can't buy the uh-- there's a couple things you can't buy. But it doesn't matter because they're both sold out now. 

H: What are they? 

J: Um, well, you can't-- so Henry, for legal reasons, you actually can't ship seeds abroad. And so the Chizza John, which just sold out by the way, look at this thing. I can't -- I shouldn't be selling it now. Look at this ridiculousness. Do you see that? 

H: Yeah

J: It's me, but it grows Chia seeds. 

A: That's terrifying

J: I know, it is terrifying. 

H: I don't like it

J: You don't like it? 

H: No

J: Well, Henry, you know what, we sold 1000 of them

H: Are chia seeds edible? 

J: They are edible 

H: Oh ok

J: But you actually can't eat these chia seeds because they haven't been washed properly, but that's another story. The point is, that technically, you can't-- we were so confident on day one that we were never gonna sell out of these. We spent basically all of pizzamas trying to sell Chizza John planters, and we just sold out of them at last. The hot sauce is still available, but only because we could order more of it. Bumper sticker packs are still available, but only because we could order more of it, etc. So. Get your pizza John stuff now at pizzamas.com. pizzamas.com. pizzamas.com. 

Um, shipping to EU got cheaper but was still expensive-ish. Yeah, I know. I know. 

H: What's the EU? 

J: The truth is-- the European Union-- The truth is, it costs as much as it costs. You don't like, make secret money on shipping. Like, shipping is expensive because it should be expensive, because it's carbon intensive and it's energy intensive. And so, I'm a little concerned when like, the Amazons of the world are like "shipping is free!" And I'm like, it's definitely not. Somebody who runs a fairly large e-commerce company, it's the opposite of free. It's like one of the leading causes of our cost. And it should be, because like, these-- every part of the supply chain should cost something. Because it costs something. It costs something in energy, it costs something in labor costs, it costs something in all that stuff. 

And so, reflecting those costs, I think is good business, but I'm sure that Amazon knows more about business than I do. Who is Henry? Henry is my son. There he is. Um. Yeah. That's the news. That's the news from me. I'm gonna go for three more minutes. 

My dad works in agriculture, and he's travelling internationally for work. He's sent samples for testing. Oh! He's still on a special list at airports. You know who else is on a special list at airports? Dad. So Henry and Alice--

H: Oh because of that Canada thing? 

J: Yeah, so Henry and Alice and Sarah can all go through the line no problem, but I have to go through the special line where they're like, "Hey uh, have you ever been in trouble with a government before?" And I'm like yeah. Canada. And they're like oh okay that's fine. Ok well thank you, I wish I hadn't had to stand in that endless line. And they're like Yeah no well. Life's full of disappointments. And I'm like, well it's relatively easy. And then I leave. So. That's the situation. Just bought some OG stickers. Ah, I love the pizzamas like, all-year stickers. Because then you see like every pizzamas design from all time. And they're not that expensive, actually. And the coolest thing about that, Henry, is that then people like, you shouldn't do this of course, but people put pizzamas stickers in places where you shouldn't put them. So like, my friend Paige and Cava, you know Paige and Cava? 

H: Yeah

J: Cava and Paige are both brilliant poets. 

H: Yeah

J: And they're professors at the University of Iowa.

H: Mm-hm

J: But they're buddies of ours. You know Paige gave us -- she gives-- Paige gives -- they give us like all kinds of stuff. Like uh.. those snails.

H: I know who they are

J: You know who they are. So um, Paige sent me a picture of a pizza John sticker on a trash can in Iceland. Now you shouldn't do that. But it did make me very happy. 

H: heh

J: um. 

H: Oh yeah

J: Oh, and we saw pizza John flag in Indianapolis. I felt like I couldn't talk about it because it was pretty near my house, but somebody was flying a pizza John flag from their flag pole during pizzamas in Indianapolis. And Alice and Sarah were driving home from school, and Alice was like, Is that dad? 

H: (laughs)

J: (chuckles) It was dad. It was dad. It was dad. As it turns out. Um, yah. So. Canada's a great country. I have nothing against Canada as a country, I just wish that I could go there without a hullabaloo. 

Alright, um, thank y'all so much for a wonderful Pizzamas. The best pizzamas of all time. By almost any measure. Shirt sales, how much I enjoyed it, how likely I am to make a live stream at 10pm on the last day of pizzamas. In a hotel in the United Kingdom. All those measures, it was the best pizzamas of all time. Loved it. And thank you all for making it such a great pizzamas. I'm gonna go buy-- I'm gonna go buy the pizzamas stuff that I need for the end of pizzamas. I'm gonna get my shirts and the shirts that my family wants, and also uh, a little bit of the hot sauce, because I've enjoyed the hot sauce so much that it's almost empty. So that's the news from here. Thank you again. It's been a joyful, joyful pizzamas. I hope it was as fun for you as it has been for me. Pizzamas.com. Henry, what's the website? 

H: Pizzamas.com

J: Great marketing. See, it goes from generation to generation. Thank you again, DFTBA.