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John deepens his budding love affair with Swindon Town and it's star strikers John Green & John Green.

Hankgames Highlights are compiled by Kerri ( - if you have a highlight you'd like to see, let us know in the comments!
(Intro - I'm so bad at game!)

Today I am going to be playing Swindon Town, my beloved Swindon Town.

The idea is that I'm going to take Swindon Town all the way to the Premier League, although because I lack any kind of talent at this game that's probably a bit of a long shot.

By the way, I'm playing in this game somewhere, there's a player named John Green but I can't, I can't find him. He hasn't, he hasn't been involved in the action much.

...a lot of amateur observers - There's a goal! There's a goal. From John Green! John Green! John Green gets that in the back of the net 10 times out of 10.

John Green has a breakaway. So, um... ah. John Green puts it in the back of the net again. How do you like them apples? You can't stop him. I don't know why he's bald, by the way. I'm gonna work on that. I'm gonna try to get him to grow some hair and possibly a mustache.

I wanna give you a couple of updates to the squad. First off, I have put another striker named John Green up front so that I can ensure that John Green always scores. Uh, it's John Green and John Green up front. There's tall, bald John Green and then there's regular John Green up front. And secondly I traded away a bunch of our players so that I could afford John Green and John Green and that means that we just barely have enough players to start the match here. But Bald John Green is so good, is he going to score right off? He is! Oh Bald John Green, there's no stopping you! You're so tall and gangly and beautiful.

So first, goal. Who scored? Other John Green! Yes, Other John Green, you're great. You're so good. Look how happy you made Bald John Green down there at the bottom. Um, why is your name J. Bennett? Your name's John Green.

I don't know why that guy's shirt says J. Bennett because his name is John Green. But you know, so it goes.

We are, as always, the Swindon Town Swindys? I don't know what our mascot is?

It still says Bennett on the back of his jersey but we know he's John Green in our hearts.

Can someone tell me, by the way, how to get Bald John Green a mustache? Because that's something I really want him to have.

Today we are, of course, the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers.

That was some great work by mustachioed John Green. I just wanted you guys to get a look at that mustache.

Oh, I'm so proud, I'm so proud of Other John Green. Sometimes Bald John Green overshadows him with his big, sexy mustache but Other John Green, he's a hero in his own right.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. I'm gonna give up a goal. No I'm not because of my heroic goal keeper Fat Lucas. I love you Fat Lucas.

We are, again, well on our way toward, hopefully, the top of League 1. Thank you for joining me.