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MLA Full: "How to Eat 213 Tomatoes." YouTube, uploaded by vlogbrothers, 17 July 2018,
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In which John grows literally hundreds of tomatoes and then eats them in two sittings.

This video is a sequel of sorts to my other video about gardening, how to cook eight peas:

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The cicada situation is out of control.

Oh, good morning Hank, it's Tuesday, so when we last visited the garden it was mostly dirt, but now there are zucchini and sunflowers and these weird dragon tongue beans. We've got eggplants and oregano, and most of all we have tomatoes. 

We've got black cherry tomatoes, we've got red cherry tomatoes, we've got these weird guys, and we've also got a metric crap ton of golden currants, which are tiny little tomatoes not much larger than a pea. 

Why did I get so many tomato plants that make tiny tomatoes? Because I wanna eat 211 tomatoes in a single sitting.

One, two... five... this is gonna take a while. 

I have picked the tomatoes. It took thirty four minutes and I am drenched in sweat. Let's go inside. Actually you know what, before we go picking all of those tomatoes has made me wanna eat a tomato, so I'm going to. Hold on. Mmm, delicious. I'm gonna have another one. Mmm. New video title, "How to Eat 213 Tomatoes in a Single Sitting".

Okay, so the first thing you're gonna want to do is lay out your bountiful harvest and then consider all of the time, energy, and sweat that went into the creation of this 900 calories of food. Then, give thanks to actual farm workers. And then count out exactly 211 tomatoes because people on the internet are sticklers about that stuff. 

So, today, we're going to make panzanella, which is essentially tomatoes with croutons. To make the croutons, you wanna preheat the oven to 350 degrees, being careful not to look at your ghoulish reflection.

Then take a pan, tear up some good bread, put it in four-ish cloves of minced garlic, some olive oil, and then I think the technical term is you just sort of 'hoosh' it.

And then once it's adequately 'hooshed', put it in the oven and cook it for, I don't know, like 15 minutes. 

Then you're gonna want to chop up all of your non-golden currant tomatoes and... boom. It was at this point that I realized that even 211 small tomatoes is still lot of tomatoes.

I googled "Can eating too many tomatoes kill you?" and it turns out, probably not, but it can turn your skin orange. 

Incidentally, you may not think you like tomatoes. I thought I hated them until my late twenties, but it turned out I had just never had a good one.

Tomatoes are one of the very few foods where the good version is essentially like a different thing than the bad version. Another example would be the difference between actual Lucky Charms and knock-off Lucky Charms. So let's go back to the recipe.

Right, so, you wanna put all your tomatoes in a large bowl, add some balsamic vinegar, less olive oil than I just used, some salt and pepper, and then 'hoosh'. 

The secret to panzanella is the crunch of the croutons combined with the juiciness of the tomatoes, so it doesn't keep well once mixed. If you want leftovers, you need to keep them separate and then add them together as you go.

So once your croutons are toasty, mix a handful with a handful of tomatoes, put some sliced basil on the top, and you've got yourself an excellent meal. 

I ate around a hundred tomatoes at lunch, and then Sarah and I split the remaining tomatoes at dinner. Three great meals and my skin did not even turn orange.

Now, I just gotta figure out what to do with those zucchini.

Hank, I'll see you on Friday.