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In which Lindsey recounts her experience at the Icelandic Phallological Museum.

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Host: Dr. Lindsey Doe

Directing/Filming/Editing: Nicholas Jenkins

Titles: Michael Aranda

Executive Producer: Hank Green

(0:02) On January 9th, 2014, I visited Iceland.  I wanted to see aurora borealis--the northern lights--which I did on the flight over.  My second goal was to go to the Icelandic Phallological Museum.  This is a collection of penises and related body parts, phallic art, all watched over by this man:
(0:19) Hjörtur: My name is Hjörtur Sigurðsson.  And I'm the curator and the owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum.
Lindsey: Do you love your job?
Hjörtur: Yeah, I love it.  I really do.

(0:30) The first member of the museum was a pizzle, a bull's penis.  His father acquired it as a dried whip.  The one you see here is one preserved in formalin, which is a combination of water and formaldehyde. Since the first pizzle, this has grown to over 200 specimens.  Two hundred penises from 56 different species.
The biggies are the whales: killer, humpback, sperm.  And the narwhal, also a whale.  The most endowed of all species: the blue whale.  When erect, it becomes eight to ten feet long and five times my weight.
This is in contrast to the smallest penis, which--if we leave out invertibrates--belongs to rodents like mice and hamsters.  In their collection, the smallest is a hamster at less than 2 millimeters.

(1:17) In between these two extremes: man.  This is a specimen of a 95-year-old man.  I think it's valuable to have a human penis in the collection.  Why not, first of all?  But also because it allows us to see what the preservation process may or may not do to the appearance of the specimen.
These are arctic fox penises.  They're coming from the animal with the warmest coat of any other species, beating out polar bears.  Like most mammals, not us, are a few others: polar bears have a baculum, or penis bone.  Raccoons have bacula, too.  Theirs are unique in that the tip is curved to a 90-degree angle.  This collection is meant to show the changes that happen in curvature as a raccoon matures.
The walrus is actually the largest of the bone-rs, at two feet.
This is a ram.
We have a reindeer.
And a cat.  (meow)  You think it's cuddly, but truth be told, these penises are covered in over 120 little spines.  Millimeter-long *skkt!* that stick into the vagina and scratch it on the way out, which, would you believe, serves to stimulate ovulation.  Oh, cats.
Elephant.  Here's me standing by its big, S-shaped penis.
And then the last on the foreign list would be four pending donations of human penises from England, the U.S., and Germany.  There is also an entire collection of folklore penises.  My favorite is the elf, preserved in pure arctic water.

I asked the curator what his favorite was, and he answered...
(2:45) Hjörtur: My favorite specimen is always the newest one.  Uhh...every time, you know?
Lindsey: The newest one?
Hjörtur: Yeah, the newest one.
Lindsey: It got me thinking about what new penises we could send him from Sexplanet.  How many species could we humanely dismember and successfully pass through customs?

(3:01) Thanks for hanging out with me at the Icelandic Phallological Museum.  If you would like to learn more about them, they have a great website.  And they have a list of all of the specimens, their ages, locations, how they were acquired, and how they're preserved.  I really enjoyed looking around their website, because it reminds me that one pizzle, one idea, one gift from somebody can inspire an entire creation.
Stay curious.


(3:23) Cameraman: What did you think of the, uh, the penis museum?
Lindsey: It's really cool.  I want one.  Of my own.  A museum.  Maybe not penises.  Maybe I could have the vulva museum?  Clits?  Breasts?  Maybe not body parts.  Maybe...full bodies of people who have died during coitus.
Cameraman: Anything else?
Lindsey: I like the hamster ones.  And the walrus and the giraffe.
Cameraman: What about the polar bear?
Lindsey: *gasp* There's a polar bear?
Cameraman: Mmm-hmm.
Lindsey: Where?