John: Oh, good morning! My name is John Green. I am playing Grand Theft Auto as myself. I just got to take a nap, which was so refreshing. Now I would love this cup of coffee. Los Santos owns me. That's discouraging. I don't wanna be owned by anyone, I wanna be my own man. I guess I'm gonna change clothes, they want me to change clothes. I like to make the people happy.

I think I look great. Let's go. Okay. No one will recognize me now. By the way, I haven't yet committed what I would consider to be a felony.

Woman: Make yourself scarce.

John: Make myself scarce? Why aren't you being polite? I'm in, this is my safe house! I actually don't know if I live here. Health!? That sounds delicious. Is there anything else I can pick up, like, can I get in the... Oh I would like, I'll have a beer. Ah. Nothing like waking up in the morning and enjoying a nice El Presidente. That's the way I like to start most of my days. I already had the beer so I think I'm good. Hi! Can I watch TV with you ma'am?

Woman: Why you go to make all that racket!?

John: Well I'm not, I actually feel like I'm being pretty quiet. I guess I'm gonna just have to leave the safe house. Although, frankly, I love it here. This is the first time I haven't been asked to commit a crime the entire time that I've been playing this game. But it, it appears that it's just time for me to leave.

Oh! We're outside! I'd like to go to church, I have some sins to confess. I accidentally ran over a lady, I'm really sorry about it. Oh, do I have to answer this?

Simeon: Franklin!
Franklin: Eh, what's going down, homie?
Simeon: The market, my boy. Liquidity's a **. Get over here so I can give you the new repo list.
Franklin: Alright, dog. I'll be around when I get a chance.

John: Okay. When I get a chance, yeah. Give me a second here I gotta go to church. Hello. Doo doo doo doo. Is this a church? That's, that's not the front of it. Franklin, go this way please. Thank you sir. Oh, Meredith, it's just a calm day in Los Santos, finally. I'd like to enter the church, please? Oh, I know what I'll do. I'll just do that thing. Yeah Yeah!

Woman: Why you ain't pick up when I called you earlier? You didn't get my text? What text? The one where I sent you a pic of my big * like you asked for.

John: Woah there! Okay. I just, I don't feel like this is my kind of church. I feel like this might be a church of a different faith that I'm not accustomed to. Okay. Where am I gonna go? Yeah, it's me, Franklin.

Woman: Hi.

John: Hi. How's it going? I hope you're enjoying your cigarette today. I gotta go to my garage, though, because I gotta get my car. And, there's so much... I, I mean among my many concerns, I have to say, we need to be worried about the trash pickup situation in Los Santos. I find that generally the, like, the overall quality... I don't know where the, I have no idea by the way where I'm going. I'm just so proud of myself for having learned how to climb.

I'm concerned about the overall quality of government services and protection in Los Santos. And I see, so far I see this game as kind of explaining to us why we need governance. 

Oh! Finally! And then you're like "Oh my car! I missed you so much!" Oh man, I found my car. Okay. And we are rolling. Okay. Hi. Hey everybody. Look at me in my fancy white car. I don't know where I'm going, I'm just going to try to take it easy. I was lucky enough to escape the cops after my most recent explorations of the underside of Los Santos. What is the name of this town? Is it Los Santos or is it Vice City? Vice City is, that's a previous Grand Theft Auto game according to Meredith. She is, by the way, an expert in all things Grand Theft Auto.

I wanna go toward this money sign because I can't help but think... Well, you know, again I'm trying to play this game as myself. And as myself, I do love money. I'm a huge fan of it. So yeah. I think my concern, my number one concern at the moment is like what kind of government do we have in Los Santos, and how, how can we improve it while also making sure that I make bank. Alright, so I'm gonna go over here. This is my friend's house, right? I think I gotta turn in here to the money sign. Where's the... Oh, I don't wanna get in a car crash. Yikes! This is my only car I'm never gonna have! I was given it. I don't really know why. Eh, I'll just get out here, thanks. You stay there, car. Hey, it's me, Franklin! Remember me from before?

Simeon: I won't sink to your level.
Franklin: Hey, what's up, Simeon?
Simeon: So good to see you.

John: It's good to see you too.

Simeon: So good. Hold me.

John: I would love to hug you. Wait! Franklin!.

Franklin: We've been working together for a about a few months now, right?

John: I like hugs. Franklin, I think that we need to learn to be more affectionate.

Simeon: Which is why I am very honored to announce to you that you are Employee of the Month.

John: Hey! Congratulations Franklin! You're Employee of the Month!

Simeon: Some kid at Vespucci Beach. His name is Esteban Jimenez.

John: Esteban Jimenez? We gotta take his car back. Alright.

Simeon: Curiously enough, I did not inquire when he bought the bike.
Lamar: We got work to do, uh... Employee of the Month.

John: Thank you!

Franklin:  * you, and come on.

No, hey! That's not... Franklin, come on. We're better than that, okay? Let's walk back to our awesome car. (Beep) Okay, and let's go to Vespucci Beach and repossess somebody's motorcycle!