(song plays in background)

Hank: When you are coming to Target for one thing, and it's in the back of the store, it's actually a pretty long walk.

H: Oh yeah, gotta get those.

Katherine: Nope, the candy hearts aren't even Star Wars themed. That one says bling. You know, exactly what you'd expect a Stormtrooper to say.

H: Are there no peeps? I was expecting peeps. 

K: My little leopard. 

(Cut to Hank's house)

H: Good morning, John!

K: Good morning, John.

H: It's time to get ill. (Katherine laughs)

H: Red velvet Oreos, that's what we're gonna start? Why you mess with Oreos?

K: I know, like, it's the the perfect cookie. Why are you... (Katherine laugh as Hank throws the cookie to the camera)

K: I'm here for the cream cheese icing. I could eat this.

H: All right, then you will. 

K: Gotta make that baby bigger. 

H: This the Reese's Pieces with the leopard. Oh, they're just peanut butter cups! 

K: I am wild about them.

K: That's gonna end up in the backgrounds of Hank's videos, I bet.

H: Good chance! You don't want to review this?

K: I'll save those for later. Well, I mean... All right. (Both laugh)

K: Oh yeah, there it is.

H: God, they really know what they are doing with these.

H: All right, I wanna try this rose.

H: Chocolate made in Belgium.

K: Oh, well...

H: Meh.

K: Packed in China, wow this chocolate has been everywhere.

H: Oh, it's fal... it fell right off. I thought I was going to, like, hold it out to your mouth. And...

H: Well it is Valentine's day. Let's take a bite out of it together like we're Lady and the Tramp. 

K: No...

H: Ahhh, it's dangerous. 

K: I'm gonna try one of these. 

H: I hate strawberry and chocolate, honestly.

K: Maybe you'll be surprised. I was surprised by the red velvet Oreos. 

K: There's two in here. Two.

H: Oh, my god.

H: It's like a poptart but with chocolate. 

K: I like strawberry poptarts. 

H: (muffled) It has a good taste. 

K: Yeah?

H: It's like a poptart but chocolate.

K: See?

H: So this is the quintessential Valentine's... item.

K: Conversation hearts.

H: The quality control has gone right out the window. 

K: Yeah, like half of these don't even have anything on them. 

(cracking noise)

H: That's not the noise that candy should make!

H: You wanna try this nerd rope?

Both: Oooooohhh...

K: Oh, we made different noises but the same noise. 

H: (singing) Lady and The Tramp... 

K: Oh god... (Katherine cries in disgust)

H: Crunch. Come on baby... (Katherine declines.)

K: It's unpleasent. 

H: I love nerds. I haven't had a nerd in a long time. 

H: Cotton candy shouldn't only happen in one place. And I feel weird having purchased it at a store. I like it though.

K: It's good.

H: Yeah. 

K: They're very good. (Hank laughs)

K: Trolli sour hearts.

K: These are little troublingly sticky.

H: Ohhh. I like that. That was my favorite sugar-based candy so far. 

K: Chocolate truffle kisses. 

H: Like, Hershey's kisses, like they were made this shape because they were just drops of chocolate but now this has been manufactured to be this shape. 

K: Yeah.

H: So that they could put something inside of it. 

K: Um, clue piece. 

H: Totally, yeah, like a...

K: Professor Poop. (Hank laughs)

K: In the bathroom. (Hank laughs again)

H: What do he do it with, Katherine?

K: I don't know... the toilet paper.

H: (laughs) Toliet... a toilet paper murders. 

H: I say that's better than a regular Kiss. 

K: Definitely. 

H: And we're gonna finish up with, a, lick-a-made Fun Dip Valentine mystery flavors!?

K: I have to lick this stick first? 

H: You have to lick... well, it's made of candy!

K: This like... weird, giant pill. 

H: I feel like they're just lying. They're like, we didn't wanna by any flavoring for this vat, so we're making it the mystery flavor.

K: Yeah... It's just...

H: By which we mean, SUGAR!

K: Your brain will suggest a flavor. 

H: Do you want to try mine (K: In my mouth.) and see if it... feels like it looks the same. 

K: You want... you want me to put my licking stick into your licking hole... (Hank laughs)

H: Baby got cranky. 

K: Baby does not like... candy. 

H: I hope not. 

We don't usually celebrate Valentine's day. But maybe we did something this year. THIS!

Katherine: Hooray...

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: I'm looking forward to my stomachache. 

Hank: Thanks for coming to this channel. 

Katherine: And happy Valentine's day...

Hank: Happy Valentine's day... (kisses)

Katherine: to all of you in platonic ways. 

Hank: Aslo, if you're wondering, during the poster sale we have last week and we raised $71,000. So $71,100 going to 10 different refugee resettlement organization... America, thank you so much. Thank you to all the awesome artist. Thank you to everybody who put that together and everybody who bought something. You're great! 

Katherine: Yeah!

Hank: John, I'll see you on Tuesday. 

Katherine: Bye!