Goooood morning Hank, it's Tuesday. It's Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters. It's actually the previous Friday, but I'm going on vacation, so if anything important has happened in the intervening four days that I'm not talking about it, it's because I don't know! Let's get to the questions.

Q: BEARD?!

A: Yeah, I'm kinda growing a beard. I dunno, Sarah wants me to. What do you think?

Q: Why do none of the main characters in your books have siblings?

A: It's just my little way of letting Hank know that in my narrative imagination, he does not exist.

Q: Do you still have your Holden Caulfield hat?

A: You mean my people-hunting hat? Yes.

Q: Apples or oranges?

A: I don't know, I find it difficult to compare them.

Q: In your book Looking for Alaska, was Alaska's 'blank' a 'blank' or a 'blank?'

A: I don't know. Also, that's not really the question for me. The question is whether we can live hopeful and thoughtful lives in spite of ambiguity, in spite of the fact that important questions go unanswered.

Q: Hey when's the Paper Towns movie come out?

A:There's an important question I will not leave unanswered, June fifth! I just watched like ten minutes of the movie that Jake Schreier showed me when I was in Los Angeles and I'm so excited Hank!

Q: Do you have any productivity tips?

A: Yeah. So first, procrastinate for a while. Longer... longer... wait until you feel, like, that sour panic-adrenaline in the back of your throat and then GO GO GO GO GO GO GO! That's a terrible productivity tip, but it's the only one I have.

Q: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?

A: Between 115 and 500 and yes, there are studies about this. Links in the dooblydoo.

Q: Favorite Art Assignment video?

A: Pretty fond of Christoph Niemann's emotional furniture. I also really enjoyed the highlights video where I got to make some prints with Sarah. Links in the dooblydoo.

Q: Favorite song by Taylor Swift?

A: Probably Blank Space, or as Henry calls it, "Boys Love Torture!"

Q: Hey, are you writing a new book?

A: Yeah, I'm.. I'm trying to!

Q: But are you writing, really? Are you writing it?

A: Yes!

Q: But ARE YOU WRITING A NEW BOOK?!

A: Uh, I'm just gonna level with you. That's not helping!

Q: Do you have any advice for people who are engaged to be married?

A: The main thing that I'd say is that if you're doing it right, your marriage will be a lot longer and more important than your wedding, so don't stress out too much about the wedding.

Q: Do you listen to rap music?

A: Yeah, actually Nat and Justice introduced me to a lot of artists I didn't previously know about while I was on the Paper Towns set, including Earl Sweatshirt, who I like a lot. And then in turn I got to introduce all of them to The Mountain Goats, so it was a good trade. 

Q: If Nerdfighteria became a sovereign nation, what would our national bird be?

A: Great question! I'm gonna say owls because they're renowned for their wisdom, they have, like, superpower hearing, and they can eat a mouse in a single bite. Plus, you know, Hedwig. So yeah, I think our national bird would be an owl, but I'm open to suggestions.

Q: Do you get stopped at the grocery a lot more now that Hank is so famous?

A: So one time I was at a movie theater and I went up to the concessions and the woman working there was so excited and freaked out and she couldn't say anything for a few seconds and then finally she said, "Oh man, this is so wild because I have a huge crush on your brother!" Oh man, you think it's hard for me, Hank, imagine what it's like for Dave Green.

Q: Do you think all children should be vaccinated?

A: No! Like, for instance, kids who are immunosuppressed because of leukemia shouldn't get some vaccines. And there are some vaccines that infants shouldn't get. That's precisely why- I mean, in addition to one's own health and the many pleasures of not getting measles- that the rest of us should get vaccinated!

Q: Can you anagram 'nerdfighters?'

A: Yes, my favorite anagram for 'nerdfighters' is 'deft herrings,' although I'm also quite fond of 'frighten's red.' 

Q: Favorite dinosaur?

A: Quetzalcoatlus!

Q: Favorite apostle?

A: John.

Q: Current toothbrush color?

A: Green. See what I did there?

And lastly Hank, a nerdfighter asks, "What should I name my pet rat?" 

A: As far as I can tell, there's really only one choice, Master Splinter. 

Hank, I'll see you on Friday.