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In which John votes in the Indiana primary, finds himself in his beloved home airport, considers what testing can and cannot accomplish, discusses driving the pace car for an IndyCar race, celebrates AFC Wimbledon's astonishing season, wishes his dad a happy birthday, and questions the necessity of a certain public address announcement.

The Vice Sports documentary about AFC Wimbledon and me:

Crash Course:

Thanks as always to Rosianna:

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Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday May 3rd 2016. I gotta go vote. Walk with me. Just an absolutely beautiful day for an election. Done and done! The best part is you get a sticker!

You'll never guess where I'm going next. That's right, Hank, in a stunning turn of events I find myself in an airport.

(Spanish on intercom)

You know my number one complaint about the Indianapolis International Airport, which I truly do believe to be the best airport on earth? Every 12 minutes...

Intercom: Smoking is prohibited at Indian...

I mean at what point in human history is it just presumed that you can't smoke in an airport? I think that point is in the past! On the other hand, I guess if it weren't for that message I would be pretty happy just to live the rest of my life in the Indianapolis International Airport, and maybe that's what they're up to: maybe they're trying to get me to actually get on a plane.

Today's video comes to you in 4 very special parts. Part one: Voting! I already did that.

Part two: Hank, today is also my dad's birthday, which I guess means it's also your dad's birthday. Lots of people don't know this, but our dad basically ran our company until a year ago. He did, like, all the payroll and budgeting and spreadsheets that made Crash Course and SciShow possible. He's also just a really great dad, and person. Happy birthday dad. I love you.

Why is it so easy to say I love you to my parents, when I can only say it once a year to my brother on Esther day?

Anyway, part three: Racing! So Hank I'm going to be driving the pace car on May 14th at the Angie's List Grand Prix of Indianapolis. I was very excited about this because I'm a big fan of Indy cars, but then I went to the track, and I tried, I did my practice. I thought that being the pace car driver was like a purely ceremonial position. You know like running with the Olympic torch, or being the Prime Minister of Putin's Russia. But it turns out, no, I have to drive the car, what is for me very fast, like 110 miles an hour in the straight-a-ways. Oh, and I'm very scared. If you watch it on TV just remember, I'm doing my best.

Part four: speaking of crashing - God, I hope I don't crash - Crash Course. Hank, here in the United States millions of high school students are taking their AP tests right now. This is always great news for Crash Course; our views skyrocket. Anyway, I just wanted to take this opportunity to say to high school students doing well on tests is great but it is not the point of life or the point of education. Tests are a somewhat inefficient way of measuring your understanding of, like, life, the universe, and everything. But the point is not to do well in the test. The point is to have a more engaged and fulfilling life during this: your one brief flicker of consciousness. So good luck, and study hard, but not just for the test.

Part five: Did I say there were only gonna be four parts? Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes. Right, part five is my beard. Hank, as you may have noticed, I have shaved. I didn't shave for six consecutive weeks because AFC Wimbledon, the fourth tier English soccer team sponsored by Nerdfighteria, just kept winning. And it got to the point where I was pretty desperate to shave, but I also wanted AFC Wimbledon to make the playoffs. Because if they made the playoffs, they'd have a 25% chance of becoming a third tier English soccer team, and it's always been my dream to sponsor a third tier English soccer team. And then, Hank, the most amazing thing happened. First AFC Wimbledon lost a game, allowing me to shave, and then another team didn't win a game, allowing AFC Wimbledon to make the playoffs anyway! So good luck to AFC Wimbledon, if they make it to the finals, Hank, I am going to Wembley Stadium to watch the game. Also, VICE Sports made a great documentary about the team and my relationship with them, so check that out.

Part six: last part I promise, VidCon. Nerdfighters, if you want to participate in the...

(Intercom in Spanish)

I know I can't fumar! If you want to participate in the signings and meet and greets you need to register by May 13th, so fair warning!

Alright, the no smoking messages have gotten annoying enough that I'm going to get on the plane. Hank, I'll see you on Friday.