Emma: Hello, my lovelies! So this docu-entry is how I got to be the amazing awesome life maker person you see before you today.

It all started a couple years ago after college, when my dear dad said to me, (imitating father's voice) "My favorite daughter, Emma, you should take this opportunity to figure out what you want to do in life. But . . . take your time."

But that's when I said, "Bestest dad ever, I don't need to take my time, because I already know. I am Emma Woodhouse and the people need me. You'll see."

(intro plays)

Emma: As I said before, I'm a lifestyle coach and matchmaker and I am all about the follow through. I see my clients from the temp job to the corner office, from the first date to the honeymoon. I am there as long as they need me, because, after all my clients are the type of people who won't know what they need until I show it to them, and they always thank me later.

Can you imagine a purpose more noble and fulfilling than bettering the lives of the people? (guffaws) Of course you can't!

Remember how I said I was going to be like Oprah? (imitating Oprah) You get a better life! You get a better life! Everybody gets a better li-ife!

(knocking sound)

Alex: Well, this seems like a good time.

Emma: Alex, you get a better life!

Alex: Well, that's a relief.

Emma: He'll thank me later.

Alex: So, is this camera gonna stay a thing?

Emma: Until I accept my award of lifetime achiev---

Alex: Ah, I get it. So, did you talk to Annie?

Emma: Of course I did. 

Alex: And?

Emma: And I took care of it.

Alex: Really? How?

Emma: We talked, she said . . . things, and I'm giving her time to get over herself, like any great friend would.

Alex: So, she's still thinking about calling off the wedding.

Emma: But she hasn't yet!

Alex: And you believe she'll come around.

Emma: And realize how much she loves Ryan. And how their future life together will be so perfect with her condo in Manhattan, beach house in Laguna and their cabin in Whistler. 

Alex: Detailed.

Emma: Always.

Alex: To clarify you're just betting that everything will work out.

Emma: I don't gamble, I know. (ding)

Alex: Hmm. Humor me for a minute. 

Emma: A minute? Really? You?

(Domino dialing noise)

Emma: What are you doing?

Alex: Being humored. I'll just be right over here.

(Domino dialing noise)

Annie: Hey, Emma. 

Emma: Hey, Annie! How are you?

Annie: I'm good. I think I know why you're calling.

Emma: You do?

Annie: Yeah. I'm gonna need some more time to think. I'm sorry.

Emma: Oh, but you aren't for sure yet?

Annie: Well, it's kind of a big decision.

Emma: (laughs nervously) Yeah.

Annie: When Ryan gets back from his expansion trip in a couple weeks, we'll talk about it.

Emma: Does he know? Did you tell him?

Annie: No, not yet. I need to be for sure on this. It's good I have some time.

Emma: And you should most definitely take it.

Annie: I'm sorry, Emma. I know this handcuffs you and your business. I hope you just understand that it's something I have to---

Emma: Yeah, Annie, totally understand. Space, time, you got it! Well, I gotta go! Alex is being a little crazy. Talk to you later, bye!

(Domino end call noise)

Emma: She'll come around.

Alex: But, what if---

Emma: No, no! 

Alex: What if she doesn't come around and she actually cancels the wedding?

Emma: Don't be ridiculous, she won't cancel the wedding.

Alex: And you're sure?

Emma: Of course I am sure. I am Emma Woodhouse---

Alex: I got it!

Emma: Grrrreat, now would you mind, I would really like to finish this segment about the imminent future success of our vibrant company.

Alex: Hmm. So, speaking of our vibrant company---

Emma: And its imminent future success.

Alex: Well, what's that streak that you're on?

Emma: Soon to be 20 for 20!

Alex: Look, I know that you have faith, but considering our company's future success, how imminent would it be if by the slightest chance a certain engagement just happened to fall apart and your perfect streak was broken?

Well, I'm off to my office of boredom and important stuff to ponder just that. You have fun, Emma. (whistles)

(outro plays)