Lizzie: Greetings, Internet! So, I’ve been away from home for a while now and some of you are asking how is Jane doing down in LA? Well, speak of the angel, she sent me another care package! Aaah! So sweet, right? So you’d probably think that she’s happy. Well, not quite. Sure, she may not mention Bing when I talk to her, but I know my sister and when she’s feeling a little down, she does something extra nice for someone else. Which of course is super sweet, but two can play at this cheering-up game! My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I’m gonna care package Jane right back.

(Intro plays)

Lizzie: So yes, I’m going to send Jane a care package, and for those of you wondering if me making a video about it will ruin the surprise, have no fear! It turns out that Jane has been so über busy at work that she doesn’t even have time to watch my videos regularly anymore. So by the time she does see this, she will have already been showered in care package love. In order to win this cheering-up war, I did some research and I have determined that there are three essential parts of a great care package. Part one: fun!

Fitz (running in): Heyooo the fun has arrived!

Lizzie: And who better to help with the fun than a Fun Care Package Assistant?

Fitz: Wait a second. What do you mean, assistant? I’ll have you know that I have a corner office in the city overlooking the bay. I can see two bridges! 

Lizzie: Fun Care Package Executive?

Fitz: Boo-yah. Oh, this is for you. 

(They put on ridiculous headware. Lizzie gets a water pistol.)

Lizzie: Don’t make me hurt you. 

Fitz: I don’t think that thing’s loaded.

Lizzie: Well that can change, I know where the kitchen sink is.

Fitz: Ok listen, I don’t need this right now, I could be having lunch with Darcy.

Lizzie: Is Darcy more fun than this?

Fitz: Yes. No. Not so much. Sorry. Yo, Darcy, lighten up!

Lizzie: Um, he doesn’t watch these. 

Fitz: Oh. Then I guess you all should know that I taught Darcy everything he knows about living life. Truth! No, wait.

Lizzie: Well, that’s enough fun, I think. Now on to part two: food.

Fitz: I do love food.

Lizzie: Alright, first off, I got her some yummy peanut butter.

Fitz: Ooh, I got her some hickory-smoked gourmet almonds. 

Lizzie: Well that’s better... Ok and then I got some chocolate because she loves chocolate.

Fitz: Which is great because I got her some Chilean chocolate bars with cinnamon and spicy chiles. 

Lizzie: You really are a care package executive.

Fitz: You know we don’t actually have to give these to her. No, hear me out-

Lizzie: No, no, it’s fine, it’s not about me, it’s about her, put them in the box. Ok, and then, her favorite cookies, chocolate chip!

Fitz: Nice, did you bake those yourself?

Lizzie: Like I bake. Why, do you have homemade chocolate chip cookies in your bag?

Fitz: No. (Puts homemade cookies in box while Lizzie isn’t looking)

Lizzie: Food, check. And the final part: love!

Fitz: My favorite.

(They put a bunch of stuff in the box)

Fitz: That is a big box of love. You know who’s all about the love?

Lizzie: You.

Fitz: Yes, but aside from me? Begins with a D, ends with an arcy.

Lizzie: Excuse me? 

Fitz: I know that your impression of him isn’t the greatest, but he’s a loyal and loving dude! He really looks out for the friends he cares about. He’ll do anything for them.

Lizzie: Yeah like what?

Fitz: For example, last month, he warned a friend about a girl he was seeing, he pulled him away from the whole situation, you know, he warned him that it was unhealthy. She was bad news.

Lizzie: Who was the friend?

Fitz: Bing Lee. Really super cool dude, you should meet him. 

Lizzie: I, I have, actually. Um, did Darcy say why he, uh, interfered?

Fitz: Something about the girl wasn’t being genuine and she was only in it for the money. Something like that. 

Lizzie: So Darcy broke them up?

Fitz: Yep. Dodged that bullet. I told you, he really cares for the people he loves. He’s always got their backs. Well anyway, listen, I’m gonna leave you to your awesomeness. This fun care package executive is out! Cheer up-- what’s your sister’s name again?

Lizzie: Jane.

Fitz: Cheer up Jane! It gets better! I’m out.

(Outro plays)