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Citation formatting is not guaranteed to be accurate.
MLA Full: "Eyelash Malaria." YouTube, uploaded by vlogbrothers, 13 December 2009,
MLA Inline: (vlogbrothers, 2009)
APA Full: vlogbrothers. (2009, December 13). Eyelash Malaria [Video]. YouTube.
APA Inline: (vlogbrothers, 2009)
Chicago Full: vlogbrothers, "Eyelash Malaria.", December 13, 2009, YouTube, 03:43,
In which John discusses medications that thicken and lengthen eyelashes, malaria, and priorities of the free market in determining what sorts of drugs the pharmaceutical industry should develop.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Aah the camcorder doesn't work!

Ugh! Hank I have tried everything to get the camcorder to work including putting on my paisley shirt. And now I'm stuck making a video on the stupid iSight camera which can't follow me when I do this! [Moves rapidly from side to side] Which I do frequently.

But Hank, I'm gonna persevere, not so much because I want to persevere but because I fear further punishment. And I will take off my paisley shirt because it is not your fault that my camcorder doesn't work and you should not have to be punished by looking at my paisley shirt. Okay Hank so today I want to talk about beautiful, luscious eyelashes... and malaria.

So Hank I don't know if you're familiar with the newest trends in eyelash growth but there's this new drug on the market called Latisse that grows your eyelashes? And there are also many other eyelash products on the market, I mean there are tonnes of treatments for the public health problem of unbeautiful, unluscious eyelashes. In fact Hank, I would argue that the 2000s have been the greatest decade in the history of luscious eyelash research.

The 2000s, however, have not been so good at researching drugs for malaria. As long as drug companies are driven solely by the forces of the free market there's always going to be too much money being put into eyelash research and not enough money put into malaria research. Now Hank, you might be saying that that's the way that the world works, the world finds a demand and it fills that demand with a supply.

And apparently there is a massive supply of unluscious eyelashes in this world. But in fact, real free market economics tells us that we need to devote much more money to malaria research because malaria as a public health problem is a bigger drain on the world economy than Wall Street bankers or the foreclosure crisis or Tiger Woods' infidelity, which could actually single-handedly put golf into a recession but that's another story. Malaria results in billions of lost work hours because it's a disease that requires long-term care and often results in long-term disability.

So Hank, here's the thing, curing malaria would not profit the drug company who finds that cure as quickly or as directly as curing unluscious eyelashes. But that drug company's profits would go up in the long run because the worldwide economy would grow so much so fast. Unfortunately the free market itself isn't forward thinking enough to figure that out.

But Bill Gates is smart enough to know that. Even Ashton Kutcher is smart enough to know that, he gave $100,000 to malaria this year. Well, not to malaria.

Against malaria. So Hank, that's why this year in the Project for Awesome I'm gonna make a video in support of malaria research. Not because I'm altruistic or anything but because I recognize that if we can cure malaria, I'll be rich!

And in the mean time as long as corporations are flush with eyelash money, we should take it from them. So Hank, there's an eyelash improvement company that's currently having a $100,000 giveaway and noted nerdfighter and YouTube sensation MeekaKitty is in that contest. If she wins, most of the money is going to pay for college but some of the money is going to where she is gonna buy an ARK.

Hank, you know how every year for Christmas I give you a goat from but you don't actually get the goat because it goes to someone who needs it? Well an ark is where you buy like a tonne of animals for people who need them. So Hank, nerdfighteria can help take some of that eyelash money and put it into an ark.

All you gotta do is go to tinyurl dot com slash winkitty--winkitty should be a thing, that should be a word. But what should it mean? Winkitty!

What does that mean nerdfighters? Right so you go to tinyurl dot com slash winkitty and then you comment on the video and you rate it. That's it, that counts as two votes.

And you can do that everyday between now and December 21st and then we can get us an ark. In other news, nerdfighters I hope you're getting your comment and rating fingers ready for the Project for Awesome. You can now download a thumbnail to help you make a Project for Awesome video at the Ning.

Lastly, on Tuesday I will be doing a Question Tuesday. Half of the questions will be devoted to the Project for Awesome, half of the questions will be devoted to relationship advice. So leave your questions for the project for awesome and nerdfighter-like slash internerdural dating in the comments.

I know I pointed at my pants but I don't want you to leave them in my pants I want you to leave them in comments! I hope I have a new camcorder by then. Best wishes!

I'm too fast for you iSight camera.