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In which John showers himself with wacky string, which forms irregular polygons.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Goooood morning, Hank.

It's Thursdaaaaaay. Hank, I don't really have any particular topic to talk about today because I'm still sort of, like, awash in the joy of having finished the revision of my book, so I thought I would draw out the intro as long as possible. Hank, I'd like to begin today by congratulating you on your excellent song yesterday and also on your one-year anniversary with Katherine.

I don't exactly know what the proper thing to do for you on the occasion of your one-year anniversary is, but I do have some leftover Silly String. Ahhh! (sprays Silly String on head) Ahh! Ptech!

It's not really string, so much as it's, like, little dots. Hank, I'd like you to observe what just came out of the bottle of Wacky String. *shows* That's not Wacky String. That's, like, Wacky Irregular Polygon.

Congratulations! Hank, in your song yesterday when you were listing all of the ways that you're incredibly lucky, I couldn't help but notice that there was one kind of luck that you have that you failed to mention in the song. I am, of course, specifically to how lucky you are to have a brother like me.

I'm not mad; it didn't hurt my feelings. It's just something that I happened to notice. But regardless of your cruel unwillingness to acknowledge the luck that is your brother, I'm so so so happy for you and Katherine after one year of marriage.

I mean, not only are you lucky to have married Katherine, I am also lucky that you married Katherine, because she's great. Incidentally, Hank, it's not until you have a bunch of green stuff on your forehead that you begin to notice how much forehead that you really have. Hank, in other news, we have a serious happy dance problem, and I don't know if you're aware of it.

Hank, as you know, we're currently collecting happy dance videos from all of the Nerdfighters. Those happy dance videos can be sent to The deadline for these happy dances in October 1st.

Now, Hank, I'm not a mathematician, but I called Brotherhood 2.0's Resident Mathematician Daniel Biss, and he says that October 1st is potentially as little as 10 days away! Now, Hank, we've gotten more than 100 happy dance videos, which is pretty incredible until you consider the fact that there are more than 6 billion people in the world, which means that there are literally more than 6 billion happy dances that are still unrecorded! Now, Hank, I realize that not everyone has a camcorder, but you don't even need a camcorder to do this.

These days, all you really need is a phone. So I hope all Nerdfighters everywhere work hard to send us their happy dances. By the way, Hank, did you know that a group of Nerdfighters were on TV holding a sign outside the Today Show that said "Nerdfighters"?

Also in Nerdfighter news, ever since I started watching the videos of our secret Australian niece and nephew, Natalie and Calvin, I always find myself saying, "Nuwdfightuws." (baby Australian accent) I wanna have a kid...they're so little and cute. It's like they have the same amount of awesome that's inside of a regular person, only it's compacted. Into a tiny little adorable package.

Unfortunately, when the Yeti comes home and she sees all the congealed Wacky String on the carpet, I suspect that the Baby Date will be moved back at least a year. I can just hear the lecture now: "I'm not going to have a baby until my husband stops playing with Wacky String." But I can't help myself, Hank. It's so fun! *giggles* Ohhhhh, I'm 30.

Hank, again, happy anniversary, and I'll see you tomorrow. End tag. They never specifically say on the back of the Wacky String tube that you shouldn't spray it onto your own hair, but I can feel it eating away at my scalp.

It's like the Selsun Blue tingle, only...burnier.