Hank: Good morning John!
John: Good morning Hank, it's Friday!
H: Question Friday, the day that we answer real questions --
J: -- from real Nerdfighters, lets get right to it!
H: How many times have you read The Fault in Our Stars? 
J: Have I? I don't know, I mean how many times have I read the finished book?
H: Yeah.
J: The -- The one that's out in hardcover?
H: Yeah that one.
J: Zero. 
H: (laughs)
J: Why would I read it? There's lots of other books that other people wrote that I could read, that I don't remember. How many times have you read it?
H: Twice. I read it once before it came out and once after it came out. 
J: Thanks for reading it twice. 

H: What's your favorite book series at the moment?
J: My favorite book series is always going to be Harry Potter. I like Divergent a lot though. 

H: Which one of you would win in an arm-wrestling match? 
(footage cut in from Hankschannel video "Hank and John Arm Wrestling WHO WILL WIN!") 
H: (slightly strained) this is going to make for a bad video!
[both laugh]
J: (whilst laughing) Oh I am gonna lose! Ooohh [loses arm wrestle] I mean, I could have kept going but I was laughing so hard!
H: (whilst laughing) Yeah, uh-huh. I won with my wit!
(cut-in footage ends) 

J: Did you, Hank, ever cry to one of John's books? 
H: Yes. I looked at it and I cried to it. 
J: (laughs) I also have cried to one of John's books.

J: If you got to give each other catchphrases, what would they be?
H: Imagine COMPLEXLY!
J: Yours would actually be "fartfartfart."

J: How do you like your eggs?
H: I like them...
(at the same time)
H: Inside of a biscuit.
J: Scrambled.

J: Can you please show us some family photos from when you two were younger? 
H:  It's funny that you should ask, cause we're in the room that has the photo album. 
J: I don't know if I want people to see this. 
H: (off-camera) (strained lifting noise)
That's pretty cute, you're giving me a little bear hug. 
J: Which one of you is hotter?
H: We'll have to have a poll, like we're not objectively able to- to de-
J: Oh, oh great. Yeah that's perfect, that's just what I've always needed, is a poll to determine whether I'm hotter than my brother. (1:24)

H: Lysh asks: Dance montage? 
Background music: Comic Sans is the best font in the world! 
(Hank and John dance sitting down)

H: Do you have pizza on Thanksgiving? 
J: No. We have turkey, yeah. 
H: We have normal Thanksgiving. 
J: Maybe someday we'll have turkey pizza. 

H: Favorite kind of pie? 
J: Pumpkin. 
H: Pumpkin, also. There's a problem, because there's only one pumpkin pie. 
J: Is there?
H: This Thanksgiving. 
J: Ohhh... Almost like the Hunger Games. 
H: (laughs) 
J: In that one of us is gonna be hungry, and the other of us is gonna be dead. 

H: If John was a turkey, and he was the last turkey on earth, would you eat him for Thanksgiving? ...No.
J: (starts laughing) 
H: I mean are there other foods available, could I have a ham?
J: (continues laughing) 
H: But also if John were a turkey, I probably wouldn't think very highly of you. 
J: (still laughing) I'm just amused by the idea that anyone, no matter who the turkey was, would eat the last turkey on earth for Thanksgiving. 
H: (laughs too)
J: "There's only one turkey left, and it is Thanksgiving!" (2:11)
H: (continues laughing) It's like if we found the last ever Billed Woodpecker, and it'd just be like "Well, who's gonna get to eat this?" 
J: (laughs harder) 

H: Could you do drawings of one another?
J: Yeah. 
H: I did mine. (shows picture) It's sparkle-pen... paper. (shows to John) What do you think? 
J: Uhmmm... Yeah, I've always wanted a Hanklerfish earring. (shows his own picture) I drew Hank as well. Um, I drew him as a beaver playing the guitar. (2:29)

H: What's the worst kind of candy? I think the worst kind of candy is probably a candy that none of us have ever heard of, because the person who created it was like, "Well, that clearly is poo." 
J: One time, ah, I went to a contemporary art performance, at which the artist, who was Chinese, handed out hard candy that tasted like crabs. (2:46)
H: (laughs very hard)
J: And that, was very bad candy. 
H: This person just says "B A D  J O K E S" 
J: I'd tell you a physics joke, but you'd probably find it bohr-ing.
H: You know jokes about Dorian Gray? They never get old.

H: Is DFTBA.com doing anything for Black Friday? 
J: ARE WE? Heck yes! There is $3 shipping on all orders, no matter how much you order you will get it for just three dollar shipping. 
H: Even international.
J: What?!
H: If you have friends or family who are looking for Christmas presents for you, maybe there's something you wanna let them know about.

H: How do you make a really good Project for Awesome video. 
J: The key to a good Project for Awesome video is not just like sitting in front of a camera and talking about why a charity is important to you, but actually showing it at work. 
H: And also consider the fact that you're basically pitching a charity. You have to let people know why this is important, why it's a big deal, why it's important to you personally. 
J: Yeah, the best Project for Awesome videos are also videos that the charities themselves can then use in their own outreach to their donors. 
H: Yeah. We love it when that happens, and we hope that it happens a lot this year.

H: Have y'all always been really close? 
J: No, I mean we've always liked each other though. 
H: Mmm...
J: (laughs)
H: Thank you for watching!
J: Best wishes. 
H: DFTBA John, I'll see you on Tuesday. 
J: Bye. 
(awkwardly flail at each other)