Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday, also known as the reckoning of the beard. So Hank: almost 5,000 people voted about my beard and the preliminary vote is that I should keep it, and one thing that I failed to mention is that the Yeti always has 10,000 votes.
So Sarah, what's it going to be? Keep the beard or shave the beard?

The Yeti (off-camera): I can't decide...

John: Compromise proposal for you: what if I keep half of it? ...aaand done! Hank, I realize that you don't have a time lapse of that, but it took like 45 minutes, plus I cut myself six times.
Hank, as you know, our father is a wonderful person, but he never taught me how to shave, 'cause when I  left for boarding school, even though I was in 10th grade, I... I didn't need to shave.

In fact, the person who taught me to shave was my 10th grade girlfriend Fran. Because I had like one of those Sony 'my first mustache' things going on. And one day she just took me into my dorm room bathroom and was like, "We are getting rid of that mustache."

Oh right, but so anyway, I was going to make a video about other than facial hair. Hank, I don't know if you've noticed this but I'm about 20% more than I used to be. And I don't mean 20% more awesome. I mean 20% more.

I know this because a few days ago, Sarah and I got a Wii fit and when you set up your Mii on the Wii fit it calculates your body mass index or your BMI, and when they calculated my BMI the game made a sound like 'ohh' and then my Mii hung its head in shame as the program made him portly. And Hank I can't help but notice that when I go back and look at your old videos that you are a little bit...I don't know, what -- what's the word for it? Well, there's just a little bit more of you in the middle for the Katherine to love. It's like these days your body is a little better designed for hoola-hooping than it used to be.

Now obviously Hank, you're in better shape than I am. I'm not saying that you'd have a portly Mii but nonetheless I today announcing the Vlogbrothers 2009 fitness challenge. Two months from today we will have a contest in three parts.

Part one: who can run three miles faster. Part two: who can do more consecutive push-ups. I'm temped to just forfeit that category right now and focus on the other two but I'm gonna try. Part three: who can get closer to their ideal BMI. I know that BMI is un-scientific enough and not that important and whatever but that's what we're going to do. And Hank, because I am confident that I am going to win, I propose that the loser shall be punished by nerdfighteria.

Hank, I am so serious about this that I have hired a personal trainer: a semiprofessional strong man named Donavon. In our first session I said I thought I was going to puke and he said, "That's OK, go ahead."

OK Hank, well, I gotta go work out but I will see you -- singing -- tomorrow.

P.S. Obviously, in the end Hank, I've decided to avoid the half shaved look but I wanted to show with you a few favorite chants that nerdfighters came up with in the great beard debate of 2009. On the pro-beard side there was: 'Hey ho! Hey ho! Onto John's face, hairs got to grow!' and my favorite from the anti-beard side was 'One puff is enough, One puff is enough!' But ultimately the chant that I found most convincing was 'John Green wont get no play until it's beard shavin' day!'