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In which John answers more than 55 questions in four minutes. (Many more questions were taped and didn't fit; I'll run some of them in a follow-up, maybe?)

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A Bunny
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John: Good morning Hank, it's question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters.


No time for the intro we have to get to the questions!

Have you ever forgotten to be awesome and totally humiliated your self?
Best wishes!

Among all three of your books which one do you like the best?
I don't know, I can't pick. Hank pick for me.

Hank: Paper Towns.

John: Did you have any fishing boat proceeds this year?
Man, that is a reference that only, like, the hardest core nerdfighters are going to get, and no, it's another year where I failed to profit from the ocean's bounty.

What would happen if you blenderized awesome?
Mmm, Awesome smoothie.

What advice can you give to young writers?

Whats your favorite songs from a hat song?
Left on the right side of the road.

What do you think was the best movie of last year?

Whats your favorite quote?
You shall love your crooked neighbor with your crooked heart.

Are you and the Yeti planning on having kids soon?
Mom, why are you leaving me questions for question Tuesday, I'm trying to be professional here!?

What is the opposite of jokes?
Tragedies, like 'Hey, you remember when you stole my ex-girlfriend', that was really tragedies.

Darth Vader of Lord Voldemort?
Vader, and I'll tell you why, he's completely free of unicorn blood.

Favorite Mountain Goats song?
Up the Wolves

Apple or oranges?
You just can't compare them.

If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life what movie would it be?

Would you rather drink your own pee, or vote for one of the current republican candidates?
Well that completely depends on how much pee is involved, because, like, a few drops, sure.

I live about an hour away from you and I was wondering if I could just, like, come by your house some day, would that be totally weird?
Yes, that would be totally weird.

How's it going?
Pretty well. I'm just answering some Question Tuesday... Why are you distracting me, I have to answer so many questions!?

In your opinion what is the least useful super power?
I don't know, like supersonic knitting, the ability to tell time with your mustache.

Who's your favorite vlogger on YouTube?

If all the nerdfighters in the universe collaborated together to write a book, what would it be about?
The evil baby orphanage, and that would so be a dream come true for me.

What was your favorite childhood toy?
I think the question you mean to ask is, when Hank was a child did he like My Little Ponies, and the answer, a resounding yes.

What do you look like without glasses?
Like this. Wait, where's the camera.

Would you ever sing in a Karaoke bar on a double dog dare?
No, its a well know fact that I don't believe in the binding nature of the double dog dare.

What color's your favorite shirt?

Kant or Nietzsche?

Yes or no?
Yes, absolutely!

Cookie dough or cake batter?
Cookie dough.

The Rolling Stones or the Beatles?

Can we have Daniel Biss make a cameo on a video?

Daniel Biss: Absolutely

John: Any book recommendations?
Sweet Scarlett by Maureen Johnson and Three Little Words by Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Whats your favorite word in the English language to whisper?
I was gonna say love but then I though of a better one - (Whispers) Poop.

What country would you most not want to visit?

Has all your leg hair grown back yet?
Its still a little sparse around the shin.

Can you name a one word oxymoron?

How do you recommend I keep up with Question Tuesday when you talk so damn fast?
(Slower) I don't feel like I speak particularly quickly.

Is there gonna be a character named Hollis in Paper Towns?
No, but that's a very funny question to hardcore fans of my books.

Why doesn't the Yeti want to be seen?
Its not her, it's me. I worry that her cute would break the camera.

Whats your favorite mathematical constant?
i, because I like to use my imagination. Nerd jokes, nerd jokes, nerd jokes.

Why does no one at school ever talk to me even though I am an intelligent, okay looking and funny 17 year old?
You don't know how much I wish I had an answer for that question, but the good news is this: there are lots of people who will talk to you at the Ning.

Alaska or Lindsay?
Margo Roth Spiegelman.

Whats your least favorite law of nature?
The one that requires me to always be taking actions in order to get any reactions.

Who the Eff is Hank?

Hank: Hank is a sausage covered in cornbread batter and deep fried.

John: Can we make our own nerdfighter shirts?
Yeah, lots of people do. I mean just look at all of that awesome!

When a nerdfighter goes under water does the nerdfighter get wet, or does the water get awesome?
The water gets awesome.

Would you ever want to take a trip to Nepal? Can I use one of your radio pieces as a monologue? If you could make one world problem go away forever, what would it be? And do you like cheese?
Yes, Yes, Poverty, and Yes!

How many push ups can you do at one time?
I can only do one at a time.

Why are you so devilishly handsome?
Because YouTube is so devilishly blurry.

Whats your favorite Shakespearean insult?
Thou lumpish rampallian bum-bailey.

Whats your favorite Dewey decimal number?
306.875, where all the books about conjoined twins hang out.

Are you guys ever gonna throw a nerdfighting convention?
I don't know maybe, what do you guys think?

Is this the last question you'll answer?