So Hank a couple of days ago I had a fairly important phone call- like important enough that I can't tell you specifically who I was talking to- and I was pretty nervous about it because I always get nervous about phone calls. But it was going pretty well and then when it came time for the phone call to end they were like "Alright, well take care, talk to you soon!" and I said "Best wishes!" Best wishes?

[Intro]

You know they hung up the phone and they said, "Did that guy just say goodbye to us by saying 'best wishes!'?" So, just a memo to those teenage nerdfighters out there who are wondering if their self-consciousness will ever go away: yeah, no it won't.

Best wishes. [shakes head in disbelief]

Hank, as you'll no doubt notice, puff levels have gone down considerably. When I went to the barber I said "Can you just take a little bit off the top? I like it to be pretty long and messy," and she said "sure thing." I took off my glasses like I always do when I get a haircut. Twenty minutes later I put my glasses back on, and I was bald. She said, and I'm quoting her directly here, "Is that short enough?" No, actually, could you make it a little bit shorter? Because when I said "just a little bit off the top, I like it long and messy," what I meant was "I'm joining the Marines."

So Hank as you know how today I was going to attempt to make a Question Tuesday video today where I attempt to break the World Record for number of questions answered in four minutes, but unfortunately it's going to have to wait until next Tuesday because I haven't even finished going through all of the questions. Because there were more than two thousand questions. So Question Tuesday will be next Tuesday, in the meantime, let's do some housekeeping!

Housekeeping item number one: If you live in or near Spartanburg, South Carolina, you should come see me speak about my books and sign them on Friday? Saturday? Saturday! This Saturday I'll be signing in the morning and in the afternoon I'll be speaking at the Spartanburg Public Library Jamboread. Jamboread is a nice pun. It's like all the fun of a party, but with books.

Housekeeping item number two: If you live in or near Depew, New York, and I know a lot of nerdfighters do, then please attend the meeting on Tuesday, March 4th, when they're going to talk about whether to keep my book Looking for Alaska in the curriculum at Depew High School. You can find out more in the video info.

Housekeeping item number three: the nerdfighter blurbing book club. Hank, this is off topic, but I really like saying the word 'blurbing.' Blurbing is one of those words that, when you say it, it sounds like your voice is turning into a robot voice. Blurbing, blurbing, blurbing, blurbing, blurbing, blurbing. Anyway, nerdfighters if you want to participate in the blurbing and potentially win fantastic prizes, you need to write a blurb about Maureen Johnson's book 13 Little Blue Envelopes of ten words or less and post it as a blog post in your profile at the ning. We'll read them all, I promise. The deadline is Sunday at midnight, then we're going to go to bed promptly at 12:01, get some sleep, wake up the next morning, and start the next book in the blurbing book club, Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Which I'm picking because it's really good and I haven't read it for a long time. Plus it's published all over the world so international nerdfighters can participate too.

And finally, housekeeping item number four: Hank, it's no secret that I really love two things: the first is nerdfighter babies and the second is when a nerdfighter finds another nerdfighter and they fall in nerdfighterlike. I like nerdfighterlike so much partly because it makes me feel like, you know, if it wasn't for us, then there might be less like in the world. Which is a really good feeling. And a nice counterbalance to having people say "I don't want to listen to this freak, I want to see giraffes doing it!" Hank, there's been quite a lot of nerdfighterlike going around lately, thanks partly to the ning, which allows, you know, nerdfighters to meet other nerdfighters and look at their interests and read their blog posts and see their pictures and everything. But the particular reason I'm mentioning it is that the Vloglovers YouTube channel is back! Noted secret siblings Abby 'songsfromahat' and Todd 'Toddly' are in nerdfighterlike. Yay. That's right, Hank. They're touching, and hugging, and nothing else.

Hank, speaking of nuclear chain reactions of awesome, I hope I see some nerdfighters in Spartanburg, South Carolina on Saturday, and I'll see you later this week, SINGING- I'm very excited but I'm not going to tell them what you're singing about.

Hank, I think there's only one thing left to say.

Best wishes!