Good morning, John.

We're now a couple of weeks into your paternity leave, and things are going excellently! Frankly, if you want to keep making more babies and I just collab with all the best YouTubers, that'd probably be okay... by me. I miss you though! But it's been super fun.

Also, Grace went over 4 minutes. The rule though is unclear as to whether its videos on the Vlogbrothers channel that can't be over the 4 minutes or its videos made by the Vlogbrothers that can't be over 4 minutes. I'm still not sure but Grace found out and she sent me this.

*Grace slaps herself*

Punishment served. 

So many other things happening in Nerdfighteria right now John. Since you're busy taking your break, as an update here's what's going on. 

According to the people at Weird Games, the Evil Baby Orphanage Card Game has now sold over 4,000 copies. Its also become a main stay of my partying gaming activities. Great mix of luck and skill and its like 3-7 players so that... it's 3+ players. Apparently you can play with infinite players.

Nerdcrafteria, our Minecraft server has seen over 43,000 unique players, 9,700 diamonds have been discovered and 3,500 mobs are killed every single day. Its a beautiful and lovely place.

John kind of without you knowledge, I decided to do an entertaining Sex Ed show called Sexplanations with these nice people. Lindsey what is Sexplanations?

Lindsey: An entertaining sex education channel on YouTube.

Hank: That's just what I said.

Lindsey: I know.

Hank: The Brain Scoop is going well.  How's The Brain Scoop going? 

Emily: The Best!

Hank: We are going to partner with the Chicago Field Museum. Tell people about the Chicago Field Museum.

Emily: The Chicago Field Museum is one of the largest and most diverse collections in the world. 25 Million artifacts in their collection.

Hank: How many do you have here?

Emily: 24,000.

Hank: So that's a lot of extra zeros for you.

Emily: Yeah. Its basically everything I could ever have hoped for that I never even knew I wanted. He will have his paperwork filled out and he can come along with us as a temporary loan to the Field Museum. He's going to sit shotgun.

Hank: Crash Course has been a lot of fun lately.

(Under the shower) That's a lot of water

Yep. I am working my butt off right now trying to solve the problem of advertising valuing distraction the same as or even more than it values engagement but that's taking some time. Sorry.

I've been working on some new songs!

[sings] So I'd rather swim through a puddle of excrement, or eat a dozen tires! Or maybe only ever wet cat food for the whole rest of my life!

[another song] Oh, J.K. Rowling! What do you do with your time? Giving all your money to charity, and I get that sounds just fine, but I'm wondering if you've got a couple more jaunts, maybe I don't know, you could crack the laptop and do it for the HPA! I don't care, just do it - today!

Things are going well at DFTBA. Here's shirts. Have you ever been on vlogbrothers, Dave?

Dave Loos: My dog has been in videos. With the cone of shame.

Hank: There's Matthew.

Matthew Gaydos: Hello

Hank: The worst shot ever. We're getting more shelves.

Matthew: More shelves!

Hank: We're expanding!

Matthew: We have too many shirts.

Hank: No, we never have too many shirts.

Matthew: We have just enough shirts!

Hank: We just started working with the Harry Potter Alliance, so we have a ton of Harry Potter Alliance stuff for sale! We finished packing up all the TFIOS audiobooks. Most of them have already been shipped out! You should be getting them any day now!

Stefan and I built a computer specifically for use as a hankgames machine; I want to play more PC games! And the return of Hank and Katherine Play Super Mario Bros. Wii - is today!

And finally, of course, the Nerdfighteria Census was fascinating! So fascinating, in fact, that it took me 23 minutes to go through an overview of the data - I did that on hankschannel; there's a link in the dooblydoo.

Probably the most fascinating statistic, is that 130,000 people filled it out, and 100% of the people that started filling it out finished. So thank you all for that. One of the things we learned from the survey is that 97,000 would be interested in an email newsletter from me and/or John, which is a lot of people interested in that. So we are setting that up, and you can go to hankandjohn.com, and sign up for that!

It is, and I don't want to brag here, probably the most beautiful website that you will ever go to, in your entire life. So you have to check it out; it's just freaking gorgeous.

And John, I will not see you. Who am I going to see on Tuesday? Hannah! Hart. I will see you on Tuesday.