I have to turn it down for copyright reasons.

Good morning, John, I have to make a makeup tutorial today, and I realized that I have no makeup, Katherine has no makeup, and no one we know has makeup, because we are in the social group of people who do not highly prize the evenness of one's skin. So we're going to Target! I'm very comfortable here, it's my Target.

I spend a lot of time here. Though I admit that I haven't spent a lot of time in the makeup aisle. So Katherine and I were walking up and down the makeup aisle, and I was seeing all these beautiful fancy people on the walls and aisles, and I was trying to think to myself who do I really admire who wears makeup?

First thing that came to my mind was Katniss Everdeen, the protagonist of The Hunger Games. In the opening ceremony of the Hunger Games, they talk a lot about her fashion, and she's totally into it. So I was thinking about that and I came to the book section to check this out and actually read about what Katniss was wearing at the opening ceremony of the first Hunger Games, and here's what it says. "My face is relatively clear of makeup, just a bit of highlighting here and there." And that's all it says about Katniss' makeup, the outfit of course is much more sensational than that but I think that that's the look I'm going to go for; not a lot of makeup just a bit of highlighting here and there.

I'm a little bit worried about getting the one that features Ellen's face because it makes me feel old. That is a lot of ingredients! I don't know if you know this, but shaving hurts sometimes.

It stings, that's why I don't like to do it! So I'm going to start with my foundation, of course, and I'm going to be doing most of this video with my glasses off, and you will say "Oh my God, Hank, you look so weird with your glasses off." I - I have no idea how to get this open. It's like they've stuck it inside a single block of hard plastic, I have no idea how to open this.

God, what kind of woman is strong enough to do- oh, there we go. I did it. And this, is I think how makeup works.

And I just shoved it in my eye. That doesn't feel good. Blend it into the neck there...okay that's lookin' good!

So what I'm going for here is like, ya'know District 12 kinda smoky but subtle look. I'm going to attempt that with this silver shimmer eyeshadow, which I'm going to put around the edges to give kind of a sparkle. Then I have this, which is dark with a nice white highlight that I think will give us a really good dramatic smoky look.

In fact, it says on the back of this "Dramatic smoky look." How do you put makeup on your eyes, if you have to see..how's it..your eyes are closed, but they have to be open...how do you do this!? I look like I've been beaten...with a hose. Now I'm going to go with white across the brow-bone here...

It's just so counter-intuitive, why the hell would anyone do this? Why would you put a stick in your eye? I don't know if you people thought I would take this quite so seriously.

Ooh, that's bad. Mother of poo, I am the worst, and putting on- Oh, that's not coming off. Since I did a little bit of extra fun with my eyes, I'm going to be very simple with my lips.

This is the third time I've put on makeup for a Vlogbrothers video. This stuff smells good. So I wanted a cool look, nice, dark, smoky District 12 look, and this is what I'm going for, and if I had ever put on makeup before in my life, I think that it would have been really awesome.

This is my Katniss Everdeen look, everybody, I hope that you enjoyed it, and tomorrow you can go buy Mockingjay, the next book in the Hunger Games series, which I am extremely excited about, and of course tomorrow is also John's birthday, but I'm not gonna talk about that right now. I will say that while I was waiting for Mockingjay to come out I read the Ship Breaker by Paolo Bacigalupi. Two Nerdfighter symbols up for Paolo Bacigalupi's the Ship Breaker.

You should check it out. Thank you ladies for putting on makeup for special occasions, but it's important to note that we guys, we think you're pretty all the time, because you're beautiful. John, you will see me, and a lot of Nerdfighters, tomorrow.

It occurs to me that I have no idea how to get this off my face now that I have it on. So I think I'm just gonna eat a granola bar and edit my video like this. No one's watching.