Good morning, John.

I just have to start this video by thanking the Yeti for vetoing at least half of that beard. Green men were just not meant to wear beards. The part on your face wasn't so bad, but the problem is that the neck - see this? - grows significantly faster than the rest of the face.

I, personally, cannot grow a beard at all; only on the neck, the chin, and the moustache, so I can have a neck-chin-moustache beard, and that would look really bad, because neck beards always look really bad! It's like you swallowed a weasel and then it got stuck and then it died trying to claw its way out of your neck. I am not worried at all, frankly, about my inability to grow a beard.

What want is for it not to grow at all. I mean, I don't have to shave like a normal man, but I do have to shave, like, once every week, and that is annoying. In fact, I think I'm due right now.

Shaving is painful and bothersome, and I don't wanna have to do it if I am incapable of growing a beard. The world is so unfair! And in fact, John, you and I just had a conversation on instant messenger, something which we CAN do, now (for those of you who have not caught up on the rules), about fairness, and about how the world just isn't fair, and if it were, our lives would suck a lot more, because if you're watching this video, chances are your life is like ten times better than the average person in the world.

Things like clean water, a roof over your head, hot showers, all these things that not everybody has. Every time I think to myself, "God, that just isn't fair," I'm like, "Wow, really? Really, Hank?

It isn't fair? Because if it was fair, you'd have eaten poop at least once in your life." And I don't wanna eat poop. Anyway, what was I talking about?

I was talking about beards. I was talking about shaving, and I don't like shaving because that time could be spent doing awesome things like watching YouTube videos or playing Wii Fit! That's right!

I got a Wii Fit. It's really heavy. That's probably not a good sign.

Now we're playing "Which is Heavier?"! The Wii Fit is heavier than the cat. The cat is cuter than the Wii Fit, though.

So, now I get to find out my body mass index and whether or not my Mii will be portly, too. Fun for old people! I think I've already figured out the most effective strategy for using the Wii Fit in a fitness program.

Yeah! Yeah, do the - do one of these. That's good.

Feel my lumbars burnin'! Yeah! Mmm!

Mmm... Yeah, I couldn't be very much less manly right now. I kissed a girl, and I liked it!

I have a hard time imagining that this is going to be better than my health than my High School Musical 3 DDR Dance Pad, which, by the way, was only $20. I'm not confident that I'm going to get my money's worth out of this, but so goes the Brotherhood 2.0... what is it called? Did you call it - what did you call it?

I don't remember what it's called. [*Music*] So, John, I'm ready to take you on! I just did a bunch of push ups (ok, like, six. I did six push ups, but I grow muscles fast).

And my Wii Fit age has already changed from 28 the first day to 45 the second day. I don't think the Wii Fit age thing is entirely accurate. But my body mass index went down.

I am totally going to pwn you in body mass index. I started out at 24 and I only gotta get to 22, so you are dead in that category. You better start pushin' up, my friend.

You had better start pushin' up. Anyway, I have to make the collab video that John and I are doing for Monday. It's very exciting, and totally top-secret, so stay tuned for that!

John, I will be seeing you constantly as I edit this video.