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Thanks John...

When I say, "I don't have an authentic self" I don't mean, "I don't have innate tendencies or attributes." I definitely do. But it is definitely the case that "the real me" is a thing that I could search for forever and only come out feeling freezer burned.

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Good morning John.

So you say that I have successfully re-branded myself away from being a corn dog lover while you are stuck being a pizza lover and I had a little bit of a crisis about it, which is ludicrous of course. But I did, so we’re there.

The reality is, I still love a corndog. I probably prefer a corndog to pizza. And I still eat corndogs a lot, they’re just not part of the lore anymore which is interesting.

There’s a lot of things that aren’t part of the lore anymore. Like a couple of years ago, I couldn’t shut up about metamucil. And I still use metamucil, and I still stand by metamucil.

It is a fantastic product that creates good outcomes. There’s so much lore that I’ve like forgotten about a lot of it. Was I like into My Little Pony for a while?

Or maybe I like talked about it and people were like “actually Hank, back off from that a little bit” so I just did. Without really asking why. Right before this I ordered a pizza, and they asked for my name, and I said Hank Green, and they said “I love your TikToks” and so,.

I asked if I could record them. Here it is. “What do you know about me from my Tiktoks?” “That you are an intelligent, well spoken person who brings up topics that are very interesting and it’s a nice educational break in my tiktok reel.” So that’s one conception of who I am. They didn’t know about all of the pelican stuff, the bean stuff, or the don’t eat stuff.

And I am on the pelican train a lot on Tiktok, but like they’re not the most successful Tiktoks. So that person didn’t encounter them. My affinity for pelicans is like not a thing anywhere else, I don’t talk about pelicans on twitter.

That much. A little bit. Now this raises a question.

And people ask me this question sometimes. Is it weird that you are a different person in different places? And, no.

It’s not. I don’t know if it’s because I’m just this way, or I’ve been doing it so long I’ve gotten used to it or if it’s people people are just this way? Because to some extent, we are different people to our parents than we are to our friends than we are to our wives than we are to our kids.

And like you, not John, and like you, everybody else, you know that like a facet of my job, not the only piece, but a part of my job is that I’m a professional performer. Like I perform. And I change my performance based on the medium, and the content, and the audience.

Any performer does that. But on the internet, you’re supposed to be your authentic self! So being a performer, that’s antithetical of that right?

Except no. It’s not, because you watched me become a professional performer. Like if you’ve seen all the vlogbrothers videos, and let’s be honest you haven’t, I have.

You know I didn’t start out a professional performer right? Like go back and watch 2007 videos, not professional caliber. But also none of these people aren’t me.

And the more I act a way on the internet, the more I actually am that way. This isn’t even a surprise anymore. Like, you change.

You changed your whole life. You are different. You are different one year than you are another one.

I am into pelicans. That’s something Katherine did to me. She loved them first, and she got me into pelicans.

And I do, honestly, love Pizza John. And I do honestly love They Might Be Giants. And like, there are lots of things I love.

Do I manufacture my quirk for the internet? I don’t know! That’s a terrifying question.

I don’t think so. I have always been a goofy, silly guy. You can ask my high school friends.

But maybe I was manufacturing my quirks back then. Maybe we’re all manufacturing our quirks. And if so, it doesn’t matter because we’re all manufacturing ourselves.

There is no “authentic self” I was not born a way. I have created this person that I am. So to consolidate the crisis, I am a professional internet creator, performer person personality.

And thus I am supposed to be authentically myself. And I cannot be that. And so, here’s what I can be.

Authenticity confused about, or even, authentically disinterested in who my authentic self even is. John, I’ll see you on Tuesday. Am I a bit much?

No one ever says that to me but I think I might be a bit much. Like I think if I met me, I’d be like “that guy’s a bit much.”